Mite Be Funny #183 – Édition Philosophie
Tag: funny
Interstellar Security
We were the victims of petty vanadalism recently, so I bought a security camera.
Pretty fancy, huh? I was surprised that it not only records video, but it can be used as a weapon.
Flies On Washington Walls #178
Social Distance Motel
One week ago, I woke up in Missouri. I had needed to go to my warehouse there for business for a while, but COVID is running rampant there. The St. Louis Cardinals can’t even play baseball. Due to COVID, the Cardinals have played 5 games. FIVE. My hometown Chicago White Sox have already played 19. There’s a serious COVID problem in Missouri.
I didn’t want to stay in any Missouri hotel or motel. I had no plan to stop anywhere at all on the way to the warehouse. I made arrangements to stay in the warehouse overnight, despite that warehouse being the site of a suicide many years ago. Gulp.
They had prepared a nice second floor loft space for me.
Although I brought an air mattress, the bed they had ready was appreciated, sort of.
Flies On Washington Walls #177
Mite Be Funny #182
The Big Chill
I was happy to return home last night after a quick business trip involving driving 600+ miles and staying overnight in a place where someone hung themselves. More on that tomorrow. I was eager to jump into our little pool and cool off a bit. The spirit was willing, but the flesh was weak. Instead, I jumped onto our couch for some TV watching.
But this morning, oh, that was going to be a different story. I was up early and ready to swim. I love those cool late summer mornings when steam rises from warmer lakes, ponds, and pools.
The air was a crisp 62F (16.7C) this morning, so I found it odd that I didn’t see that steam rising from our little pool. I wasn’t sure why … until I got in.
Weekend Milestones – Part 2
If you missed yesterday’s post, I finished writing a book this weekend. No, not a sequel to my Parasitic Twin novella, but a collection of short stories. As I warned I might do, the title has already been changed to “Beyond: Tales of the Afterlife.” But there were other milestones reached this past weekend.
Weekend Milestones – Part 1
I finished my book of 18 short stories after just a bit over a year and a half of writing work. But I didn’t view it as work, because I enjoyed it immensely. I did hit a snag 2 weeks ago when I finished the last story. Then the daunting tasks of compiling the stories into one document, creating a table of contents with links, doing a final edit, and choosing a title stared me in the face. Ugh! I love the creative process and hate the tedious details. But I hunkered down and finished the work this weekend.
The tentative working title (subject to change based on my whims) is “Beyond Life: Tales of the Afterlife.” Here’s a brief tease about what each of the 18 stories is about.
Mite Be Funny #181 – Farewell to TikTok
My Pool, Me, & OCD
I am of the belief that we all have some mental illness of some sort. Think about it. What mental illness affects you? Depression? Mood swings? An unhealthy obsession with the lady next door that looks like a young Audrey Hepburn?
For me, it’s OCD – Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I’ve never blogged about it. I am only starting to discuss it with family and friends, because it turns out they find it charming, quirky, and fascinating. Okay, so they also find it somewhat disturbing. But I can live with that as long as it makes me appear more interesting. Hmm, I may need to add narcissism to my list.
My OCD really came into focus when I messed up my pool liner order, and had to reduce my pool from 16 feet across to 15.
I guess the picture doesn’t really help you understand my OCD. I’ll try to explain.
BREAKING NEWS: Donald Trump announces plans for a second rally in Tulsa to commemorate the life of former presidential candidate Herman Cain who caught COVID-19 coronavirus at the first Trump Tulsa rally and passed away.
Park that Ford on the Bench
About a year and a half ago, I named my all-President basketball team. My line-up:
- Barack Obama at point guard
- Dwight Eisenhower at shooting guard
- George H.W. Bush at small forward
- Gerald Ford at power forward
- Abraham Lincoln at center
But then I saw this new painting that some pro-Trump painter is currently hawking online.
Gross. I have so many questions …
Last night, a real “batten down the hatches” storm blew through the area. Unfortunately, I never learned to batten, and I have no idea where our hatches are.
Mite Be Funny #180 – A Double Panel Philosophical Discussion
Good Brains!
I saw on Twitter a lot of this page from the mental health acuity test that Donald Trump is claiming he “aced.”
I figured that was just one of many pages of this test. Trump explained to Fox’s Chris Wallace that the last five questions were particularly difficult. But I was shocked when I looked closer at that one page.
Slowing My Roll to a Stroll
Shortly after I was crowing in a post about losing weight through diet & exercise (who knew that would work?), I encountered a setback this weekend. While taking a stupid walk, my stupid dog lunged at at a stupid chunk of asphalt in the stupid road that she mistook for a stupid animal, unexpectedly jerking the stupid leash that I stupidly held, and my stupid knee was reinjured. Back to the knee brace for me …
I’m not happy about it, and my knee brace also looked displeased …
I haven’t stopped exercising, but my walks have become strolls, and my bike rides have become leisurely sightseeing excursions. That does have some advantages. Just this morning, I encountered this photogenic family while biking …
Spam Much?
I signed-up for Trump’s NH rally that was ultimately canceled. I didn’t plan to go, but I wanted to see what they would do with my email. Spam bomb time and all very grifty. This is a perfect example …
Hmmm, for $20 I get a FREE yard sign. I don’t think they understand how FREE works.
But what if you have more money to spend on FREE merchandise and want to be more welcoming to other Trump supporters? Then this next offer is for you, but act quickly.
Mite Be Funny #179 – Special Portland Protests Multi-Panel Edition
My COVID Diet
I’ve delayed writing this post for a month now. I know what you’re thinking … I should have made it 2 months. But I finally feel comfortable writing it now for reasons I will soon disclose.
But first, even though most of my blog posts are considered uproariously hilarious by the general public, and members of General Public, I want to make it perfectly clear that I take the COVID-19 coronavirus seriously. I got tested after participating in BLM marches. I social distance. I WEAR A FREAKIN’ MASK. You should, too. COVID-19 goes hand-in-hand with Donald Trump as the scourge of my lifetime.
But thanks to COVID-19, I have lost weight. I’ll explain …
Jim Flanigan Looks at the World 