Good Brains!

I saw on Twitter a lot of this page from the mental health acuity test that Donald Trump is claiming he “aced.”

I figured that was just one of many pages of this test. Trump explained to Fox’s Chris Wallace that the last five questions were particularly difficult. But I was shocked when I looked closer at that one page.

That’s the whole freaking test! That’s it. There is nothing difficult about it unless you need to identify if that’s an Asian or African camel. Bragging about acing that test is like bragging that you made a boom-boom in the potty. That’s the test they give people before they wheel them into the dining hall for a meal of soft mush. Regardless of how the test-taker did, they are told that they did a great job and “Hey, how about we get you some soft-serve ice cream after you suck up your gruel?” And is anyone else wondering why we NEVER see Trump actually eating food? We see him posed with food, but he never shovels it into his lie-hole on camera.

Trump would never be given this test unless someone close to him was concerned about his mental health. Hey, how about the whole country, not to mention the world?

In fairness to Trump, I didn’t “ace” the test when my wife gave it to me. She docked me a point for my clock drawing.

I thought it was a Dalicious drawing. My wife? Took a point off for the clock shapes. Everyone’s a critic.

I also lost a point in the Language section when I had to name more than 11 words beginning with the letter F. I was thinking of Trump, so these came to mind:

• Fascist
• Flaccid
• Fart
• Fart Face
• Flabby
• Fat
• Fatty Pants
• Fatuous
• Fool
• Foolish
• Fetid
• Foul
• Flailing
• Feeble
• Frontotemporal Dementia
• Fuck
• Fucker
• Fat Fuck
• Motherfucking Fascist McFuck-Fuck

My wife stopped me before I started frothing at the mouth. Well, she almost stopped me in time. Anyway, she calmed me down, congratulated me on getting out more than 11 “F” words in well under a minute, but told me that she took away my point due to foul language. I have one more “F” word for her … fooey!

And I lost 3 points in the final Orientation section. Here were my answers:

• Date: Not a clue. I blame COVID.
• Month: I had a vague idea that it was still July, because I still hear fireworks occasionally left over from the 4th of July.
• Year: 2020. How could I ever forget this year?
• Day: I took a wild guess and said, “Someday.”
• Place: I correctly guessed my house.
• City: I guessed Saint Charles. My wife wouldn’t give me the point since we technically live outside the city limits.

So, I didn’t “ace” my test. But my dinner sucked up my straw nicely, and the soft-serve ice cream was delicious.

Trump has challenged presumptive Democratic Presidential nominee Joe Biden to a mental acuity test. My advice to Trump? Never bring a rusty butter knife to a gun fight.

And I don’t believe Trump “aced” the test, but I do believe he’s an acehole.