When we last checked-in on our gutsy mites, they were readying themselves for a tumble dry. Let’s see if they survived the ordeal, perhaps a bit dryer but at least alive.
Mite Be Funny #260 – The Laundry Chronicles Part 4
Tag: funny
Another Edition of … Am I a Bad Guy?
I have started a new “career” doing market research studies for cash. So far, I have finished a Medicare study that was not only profitable, but provided me useful information. Next week, I am scheduled for some product taste testing. Yum!
As I review and apply for opportunities, I spotted these two.
Now that’s a lot of money. After seeing those, I can’t help but feel jealous of those with lung cancer and hospitalized with COVID. Am I a bad guy?
Welcome, New Olympic Events!
The Olympics are back, and it is nice to see the Chinese hosts have added some new events like Press Suppression.
That was a Dutch reporter being escorted away. Undeterred, the team from The Netherlands looks to be in fine form.
Continue reading “Welcome, New Olympic Events!”Let Lying Trumpers Lie
I’ve gone back and forth with friends debating whether or not we should make an attempt to reason with our relatives and friends who are hardcore MAGA Trumpers. Sure, we want our loved ones to see the error of their ways, but I have become convinced that trying to sway them is a lost cause. To support my argument, I present this video from a couple days ago.
Your eyes may have glazed over just a bit at the falsehoods flung around like feces in the monkey house at the zoo. Sounds like something crazy Aunt Jane or Uncle Joe at the holidays would say after getting into the spiked eggnog, but it perfectly supports why trying to show them their thinking is flawed is futile. First, take a look at the sheer volume of nonsense this woman spouted along with the truth listed underneath each.
Continue reading “Let Lying Trumpers Lie”Relatively Speaking
I took some time yesterday to meet with relatives and mourn my aunt’s passing. I can’t say she was my favorite aunt, but she certainly was a firecracker as her son described her in the eulogy he gave. When I think of her, I don’t think of her in her older years, her mind addled by Alzheimer’s and her body relegated to a wheelchair. I think of her in her small house that was always getting flooded in suburban Chicago close to O’Hare Airport with planes overhead constantly. I can see her now, plain as day, a mixed drink (probably a Manhattan) in one hand and a cigarette in the other, talking loudly and irreverently as she was prone to do after a drink or two or more. No, she wasn’t my favorite aunt, but she was my most spirited aunt. Even in her last few years in nursing care, she was still full of piss and vinegar. I heard that she regularly plotted escapes from the home, and once called 9-1-1 to report that she was being held there against her will. She raised two families – her four boys and then three grandchildren from one of her boys. She buried a husband, an infant daughter, and two of her sons. It was a full life but a hard life. However, I think she was happy that she lived it in her sometimes soggy house in the Chicago suburbs after escaping from Chicago’s harsh east side where she grew up.
Continue reading “Relatively Speaking”Mite Be Funny #259 – The Laundry Chronicles Part 3
When last we left our resolute mites, they were facing the dangerous, swirling waters of a top loader washing machine. Let’s check in on them to see how they fared.
Top 5 Worst Judges to Replace Justice Breyer on the Supreme Court
We all know the Top 3 Worst Judges to be added to the Supreme Court during the Trump Reich. How do we know them? They were appointed by Trump, confirmed by a Republican majority Senate, and are sitting on the Supreme Court today.
Gross. Typing that and seeing him makes me throw up a little in my mouth. The other two are as bad if not worse.
But now, President Uncle Joe gets to replace Justice Breyer. While there are many good candidates from which to choose, keep a watchful and wary eye open in case he goofs and decides to nominate any of these Top 5 Worst Judges to Replace Justice Breyer.
Continue reading “Top 5 Worst Judges to Replace Justice Breyer on the Supreme Court”I’m Not L’oven This Weather
It’s been cold here. A blogger I follow recently referred to such bitter cold as Brass Monkey Weather. We’ve had our fill of brass monkey weather recently in the Chicago area. Just yesterday, we endured temps of -14F/-25C. During weather this cold, I like to use our oven as much as I can. After I am done with the oven, I open it a bit and let hot air (not from me) flood the kitchen. I love that feeling of warmth enveloping me. But I can’t anymore since my dog set himself on fire. He’s ruined it for me, because now we have these on the oven.
Continue reading “I’m Not L’oven This Weather”Where’s My Free Scorpion?
I shop at a local Aldi store a couple times a month. Never have I received one of these with my fresh produce, but I want to, because, well, someone else got one free.
Of course, this happened in Australia. Where else? They have so many dangerous, deadly creatures there that I think they probably expect to find a scorpion in their vegetables. Here’s the comment from the woman who found the scorpion.
‘I’m happy dealing with caterpillars and bugs in fresh produce but was shocked to see a scorpion crawling around. He was very much alive and very cranky.’
Here’s Aldi’s response:
Continue reading “Where’s My Free Scorpion?”Word Games
The other day, my wife was showing me how to play the new word game Wordle. Each day, you have to guess a 5 letter word. My wife offered advice that some people like to start with the same word all the time. I suggested penis. She countered that I was an idiot. Oh, really? Okay, maybe she’s right. Anyway, she suggested that I use a word with more vowels in it like arise. I reiterated that I wanted to use my penis. It’s got 5 letters. She rolled her eyes back far enough in her head so that I could only see white. Regardless, I went ahead and used my word … penis.
Yep, just 2 guesses was all it took. The lesson here is to always go with your penis.
Mite Be Funny #258 – The Laundry Chronicles Part 2
When last we left our intrepid mites, they were stuck in a laundry hamper. Let’s see if they’ve been able to extricate themselves from that predicament.
What Happened to my Invitation?
I just got an email today from my blog host WordPress with this invitation.
WordPress “just launched” a daily blogging challenge for January? I checked the date today. The 21st of January. Hello? The month is 2/3 over. Just launched, my ass. It’s like getting an invitation to come to a party as guests are leaving and the host has begun cleaning up cups and plates. My best guess is that WordPress has been monitoring this blog and its questionable “entertainment” content. They probably recommended that our invitation be put in the “lost in the mail” category to arrive at a safe late date that would deter my participation.
Now, would I have blogged for 31 straight days in January? Probably not. I like you readers, but …
Well, this may better explain how I feel.
Continue reading “What Happened to my Invitation?”Is My Dog Suicidal or Murderous?
He’s always looked somewhat depressed, even as a puppy.
But now, he’s acting out. The other night, in a effort to stem the tide of my winter weight gain, I went to bed without eating even one of the delicious chocolate brownies that my wife had made.
Continue reading “Is My Dog Suicidal or Murderous?”Waitlisted for Weight Loss
Every winter for me it is the same. I gain weight. I planned to allow myself 5 pounds of weight gain this winter. However, I never expected I would hit my 5 pound “goal” by the end of December, but there I was, staring at the scale in disbelief at the beginning of 2022. Just a tip for those of you trying to lose weight, sucking in your gut while standing on the scale and staring in disbelief does not reduce your weight.
I delayed writing this until I was sure that the weight gain was a just temporary upward blip. Instead, as I write this, I am certain that my 5 pound weight loss visitor is here for an extended stay. But the good news is that I’m holding steady there and we are over half the way through calendric winter. And instead of thinking that I have gained back 25% of the weight I lost, it helps for me to think that I have gained back 1/16th of the weight I lost 4 times. Seems less to me.
One problem could be my steps took a literal step back in December. Take a look.
Continue reading “Waitlisted for Weight Loss”Mite Be Funny #257 – The Laundry Chronicles Part 1
Well, our mitey heroes sure seem to have gotten themselves into a tough spot. Tune in next week to see if the plucky mites can somehow extricate themselves from the laundry hamper in an exciting Part 2 of the Mite Be Funny Laundry Chronicles.
Happy Birthday?
I see that the county I live in, Kane County, will celebrate its 186th birthday this weekend.
From that pic they used, it looks 186. Then I saw on Facebook this shocking piece of news about who Kane County was named for.
Continue reading “Happy Birthday?”Evidence of the Decline of Western Civilization
I firmly believe that Western Civilization is on the decline. Not Northern or Southern, and maybe just some of Eastern, but definitely all of Western Civilization.
You want evidence?
Not good enough for you? Well …
Still not convinced? Fine, then take a look at this.
Continue reading “Evidence of the Decline of Western Civilization”COVID Comes Home
Unfortunately, it’s MY home. My 13 year old daughter tested positive for Covid yesterday, and has some symptoms, but not severe. We hope and pray she recovers quickly and fully with no side effects. Get vaccinated and boosted.
Our daughter just got her booster shot Friday, so probably not soon enough to fully protect her. I’m not surprised she got sick. Our local school district is being decimated by Covid at the student and educator level. So far, my wife (an educator in the school district) has escaped a Covid infection, but I figured my daughter would eventually get it. All her friends seem to be getting it. Peer pressure, perhaps?
So, now what? I’ll be spending a lot of time away from my family in my home office and basement, so business as usual for me. I will be stocking up on Covid therapeutics, just in case. Ivermectin? Check! But I do have a question. Will the dewormer Ivermectin work on Covid if you don’t have worms? If not, I’ll have to stock up on worms, too.
Twitter has proven to be a treasure trove of information as to how to treat Covid beyond such commonsense cures like livestock dewormers. I had all I needed for this next one in the kitchen.
Continue reading “COVID Comes Home”Mite Be Funny #256 – Giant Multi-Panel Spiderman Movie Review Edition
Freezing for Democracy
I attended a rally for democracy yesterday on the anniversary of the January 6th Capitol insurrection. In the past, I blogged that rallying for voting rights was dumb, but having to rally to solicit support for democracy sounds even dumber to me. But there I was yesterday, in single digit cold temps, on a bridge with no feeling in my fingers or toes. Now those single digit temps were in Fahrenheit. In Celsius, it was around -12 or -13, which seems even colder to me. However, in Kelvin it was a balmy 260. I want to live in a Kelvin world NOW.
Anyhoo, we got plenty of support, but there were the usual middle fingers thrown our way and “Let’s go, Brandon” yells. Hey buddy, Brandon won. But the oddest comment was someone who yelled that democracy leads to communism. Is that the latest “logic” from Fox News?
I am a bit upset about my picture making the local newspaper. Take a look.
Continue reading “Freezing for Democracy”
Jim Flanigan Looks at the World 