Pence Out … Familiar Name In

In a blockbuster move designed to salvage his flagging political career, we hear that Mike Pence has withdrawn from the Republican Presidential ticket. After ruining Indiana with his cretinous, archaic policies, Pence took his political hate show on the road nationally as Donald Trump’s running mate/sidekick/accomplice/apprentice troll. It was never a good fit as Trump’s bloated ego could not handle that the general public seems to prefer the hate-filled Pence to the Orange Goblin Trump.

Sources tell us that Trump has already chosen a Pence replacement, and it is a familiar political name … Bush.

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Trump Crisis = Branding Opportunity

trump-mace
Yet another opportunity to sell the Trump brand

Trump’s Committment to Advantage

Donald Trump’s leaked 1995 tax return shows that Donald Trump lost almost one billion dollars in that boom year back when everyone was making money. Heck, the lemonade stand my 6 year old daughter ran back in 1995 was doing so well that she opened 8 franchises that year and went public. You had to be a bumbling, stumbling fool to lose money back in the 90’s.

More importantly, the leaked tax document shows that Trump has legally taken advantage of the federal tax code to avoid paying income taxes for many years.

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Zombie Complaints Rise

As more and more Trump supporters crawl out from their alt-right spider holes to show their hoodless faces for the first time in public since the George Wallace third party Presidential run in 1968, zombies are registering a record number of complaints.

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Make America Pornographic Again

Donald Trump cranked up his Twitter machine in the wee hours of this morning and spewed forth this wretched chunk of vitriol from the Trump Vomitorium of Ideas …

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Death by Trump

The ultra-conservative Arizona Republic newspaper (that historically may as well have been called The Arizona Republican) endorsed a Democrat (Hillary Clinton for those of you not playing along at home) for President for the first time in 126 years.

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Things I Learned About Donald Trump from the First Clinton-Trump Debate

I learned a lot last night from watching the debate between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump. In no particular order …

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Clinton – Trump Debate Moved

With the decision to limit both candidates tonight to only factual statements, the debate has been truncated to 10 minutes. For those readers that may be Trump supporters, that means the debate will be shorter in length. Your (sic) welcome.

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Back From Hiatus

Much to the chagrin of the blogosphere, I am back from a small hiatus. And what I always say is that it is not the size of the hiatus, but how you use it.

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Trump FIRST

Republican Presidential nominee Donald Trump rolled out his FIRST plan today. FIRST stands for Fix It Right Says Trump, and is meant to be a team-focused attempt to address America’s problems with teams being led by experts on those issues.

Donald Trump himself heads the America FIRST team, and has started making appointments to head his various FIRST teams that will tackle and fix America’s problems.

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Trump Admits Melania Was Illegal Alien

Donald Trump appears ready to admit to the world that his wife Melania illegally worked in the USA on the wrong type of visa, thereby committing fraud and putting her citizenship in doubt.

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Trumpsiderate

During this 2016 Presidential campaign, we have all come to learn just how considerate and thoughtful Donald Trump is. He demonstrated that consideration once again as he was speaking in North Carolina today, hinting that gun rights advocates may want to take out Hillary Clinton. How considerate of him!

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Trump Shuts Down Blogger

Republican Presidential nominee Donald Trump has shut down this blog and most other humorous political blogs.

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Trumpnado

I saw this list of guest celebrity cameos in “Sharknado, The Fourth Awakens.”

  • Gary Busey
  • Tommy Davidson (“In Living Color”)
  • T’Keyah Crystal Keymah (“In Living Color”)
  • Imani Hakim (“Everybody Hates Chris”)
  • Masiela Lusha (“George Lopez”)
  • Cynthia Bailey (“Real Housewives of Atlanta”)
  • Erika Girardi (“Real Housewives of Beverly Hills”)
  • Robert Herjavec (“Shark Tank”)
  • Lori Greiner “(Shark Tank”)
  • Kym Johnson (“Dancing With the Stars”)
  • Carrie Keagan (TV host)
  • Gena Lee Nolin (“Baywatch”)
  • Alexandra Paul (“Baywatch”)
  • Benjy Bronk (“The Howard Stern Show”)
  • Duane Chapman (“Dog the Bounty Hunter”)
  • Stacey Dash (“Clueless”)
  • David Faustino (“Married With Children”)
  • Frank Mir (MMA fighter)
  • Roy Nelson (MMA fighter)
  • Seth Rollins (WWE star)
  • Vince Neil (Motley Crue)
  • Wayne Newton
  • Todd Chrisley (Chrisley Knows Best”)
  • Savannah Chrisley (Chrisley Knows Best”)
  • Grayson Chrisley (Chrisley Knows Best”)
  • Dr. Drew Pinsky (“Loveline” host)
  • Patti Stanger (“Millionaire Matchmaker”)
  • Corey Taylor (Slipknot)
  • Andre “Black Nerd” Meadows (YouTube star)
  • DeStorm Power (YouTube star)
  • iJustine (YouTube star)
  • Paul Shaffer (“The Late Show”)
  • Carrot Top (comedian)
  • Chippendales dancers
  • Dolvett Quince (“The Biggest Loser”)
  • Gilbert Gottfried (comedian)
  • Hayley Hasselhoff (“Fearless”)
  • Taylor-Ann Hasselhoff (“Rich Kids Of Beverly Hills)
  • Stassi Schroeder (“Vanderpump Rules”)
  • Jax Taylor (“Vanderpump Rules”)
  • Steve Guttenberg (“Police Academy”)
  • Al Roker (“Today Show”)
  • Natalie Morales (“Today Show”)
  • Jedward (music group)
  • Jay DeMarcus (Rascal Flatts)

Before I knew the list was from the latest Sharknado movie, I thought it may have been a list of the speakers from the Republican National Convention.

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GOP Behind Balloon Drop Disaster at DNC?

A devastating balloon drop closed the Democratic National Convention, killing 3 while injuring 6 including Democratic Presidential nominee Hillary Clinton.

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Admiring the Admiral

Retired Admiral John Hutson said about Republican Presidential nominee Donald Trump at the Democratic National Convention, “Donald, you’re not fit to polish John McCain’s boots.” Of course, this was a complete red herring as we all know that John McCain prefers loafers (see Sarah Palin as former running mate).

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Trump rescues bloggers, but at what cost?

The Democratic National Convention got off to a rocky start as Bernie Sanders believers appeared ready to take the Jonestown route rather than endorse Hillary Clinton. But the Democratic convention soon settled into thoughtful, rational, stirring speeches presented by prestigious politicians, everyday people, and A-list celebrities not named Scott Baio. What is a political blogger to write about?

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Upstaging the Elephants

The time is nigh for the Democrats to show that a national nominating convention can be substantive and offer clear plans for the country, and not be a thinly-disguised WWE backstory of the feud between Terrible Trump and Killer Cruz. But I think if the Dems want to try and sway some on-the-fence Trump backers to vote Democratic, here are some suggestions to add a little pizzazz to their convention.

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Trump Extends Olive Branch to LGBT Community

Republicans have constructed the most overtly anti-LGBT platform in history, but Republican Presidential candidate Donald Trump is doing his best to show he is sympathetic towards the LGBT community.

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