Zombie Complaints Rise

As more and more Trump supporters crawl out from their alt-right spider holes to show their hoodless faces for the first time in public since the George Wallace third party Presidential run in 1968, zombies are registering a record number of complaints.

It is only logical that as more Trump supporters feel emboldened enough to parade their racist asses through the general public, zombie attacks on Trump supporters have risen accordingly. Then as more and more Trump supporters have been attacked due to being out in public, zombie complaints after the attacks have risen proportionately. It turns out that Trump supporter brains have a distinct “shit for brains” taste that zombies find distasteful. A zombie spokescorpse told us that they have advised all zombies to avoid eating the brains from people wearing any clothing featuring a Confederate flag, a “Make America Great Again” cap, or anything cammo.

Zombies are to be reminded that eating brains of the living is against the law. However, it is a gray area of the law as to whether or not eating the brains of already brain-dead Trump supporters is illegal.

The Trump campaign declined to comment on this article except to say that Hillary Clinton is responsible for zombies.

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