Continue reading “Mite Be Funny #69 – Special Memorial Day Multi-Panel Edition”
Mite Be Funny #69 – Special Memorial Day Multi-Panel Edition
Category: Political
War on Memorial Day
I found myself wishing business associates this past week that they have a “great holiday weekend.” Uh-oh. I didn’t say “Happy Memorial Day.” I hope I have not started a War on Memorial Day like there is on Christmas according to Donald Trump and Fox News. But Happy Memorial Day? That always seemed weird to me since Memorial Day is supposed to be a solemn day of remembrance for those who died while serving in the US Armed Forces. Instead, we get the grill fired up to char some meat, swill beer and yuk it up with friends and family. How solemn is that? Are people who do that unpatriotic? Yes, I think so. Anyone who engages in any non-solemn activity on Memorial Day is as unpatriotic as the NFL players who will be fined for taking a knee during the National Anthem at football games this upcoming season. Backyard grillers – I’m watching you. Beer drinkers – you are on notice. Joke tellers – knock it off. OK, I guess that covers 99% of the USA on Memorial Day. It might not hurt all of us to follow the lead of NFL players and take a knee on Memorial Day to remember those that have fallen in service to this country.
I’m happy to provide just a little background at no cost to you about taking a knee. Ex-NFL quarterback Colin Kaepernick met with Nate Boyer, a retired Green Beret who suggested that in the military, taking a knee is a sign of respect for the fallen. That’s why Kaepernick took a knee rather than sit. Fake News you say? Here’s Nate Boyer on CNN talking about it …
Looks to me like it may be unpatriotic to not take a knee.
If Only We Knew …
Hindsight always seems to be 20/20. No, not this kind of hindsight …
I’m talking about looking back and rethinking decisions. For example, take Hawaii, please …
I’ve Been Stood Up
Once Trumpatized 2018 v2.0 was released, I was pretty sure I was just a few million downloads away from easy street, fame and fortune. How was I going to get a few million downloads? I figured I’d start with one million and work my way up from there. I wasn’t so sure about how to do that, except I was certain that all of you reading this would not be a huge help. Geez, it’s like pulling teeth to just get a “Like” on some of these posts, probably because reading some of my posts is like getting a tooth pulled. I had to find a way to get that song to go viral, although I was willing to settle for bacterial.
I decided on promotion. I have heard that there is no such thing as bad publicity, so I considered a really random act of stupidity that would get national attention, but the office of President is already filled. What? It’s working for him.
I tried more traditional methods and shopped the song around to some progressive media outlets. The response was incredible. No wait, I typed that wrong. The response was inaudible, except for these guys …
Flies On Washington Walls #109
Rock On!
By now you may have heard about this story …
That’s Mo Brooks, House Representative from Alabama who is pushing that theory. Roll Damn Tide, and let’s hope the Crimson Tide can take that village idiot right out to sea. However, he does have visual proof to offer …
I am a Ticket Whore
Oh sure, you could replace the word ‘ticket’ in the title with most any other word, and it would still be true, but for the past month, I have almost exclusively been a ticket whore. I have planned large-scale National Sales Meetings in the past for companies I have worked for, and that was challenging, but now I am asking people to pay their hard-earned money for an event on a Tuesday night that they could probably do without. Well, as long as I am whoring, here’s the event and you are all invited …
Cohen Plaid Guilty!
BREAKING NEWS …
The crack(head) investigative journalists at Jim Flanigan Looks at the World have been able to positively confirm that of the hundreds of thousands of dollars coming into Michael Cohen’s shell company, Essential Consultants, not one dollar was spent on clothing or tailoring. Proof follows …
If you are going to wear plaid, make sure you have the body for it or an excellent tailor unless you want to look like this …
H2OMG!
BREAKING NEWS …
Gina Haspel, nominee for the position of CIA Director, has threatened to waterboard any US Senator who does not vote in favor of her confirmation.
Flies On Washington Walls #108
Deal or No Deal?
For someone who touts himself as the King of the Dealmakers, Trump sure seems to only be able to kill deals. His bestseller The Art Of The Deal may require a little rewrite.
Gym for Jim
I could be heading back to Middle School this week, of course except for the ones the judge has ordered me to stay 500 feet away from. You can come with, too. Meet me in Elkhart, Indiana on Thursday night! Elkhart is just a 2 hour drive east of Chicago by car, but at least 50 years behind Chicago in thought.
Mite Be Funny #66 – Happy Belated Cinco de Mayo Multi-Panel Edition
Trumpatized 2018 v2.0
About a month ago, I introduced you to the rap song that I thought would send me to the Grammy Awards to pick up some hardware for Best New Artist or Whitest New Artist, one of those two. Feel free to take a listen again to Trumpatized 2018 v1.0. Heck, I even picked out a rap name to use.
That has not worked out as planned. Nobody is interested and my wife refuses to call me by my rap name of J-Saggy. And then it (or my wife, I’m really not sure which) hit me. If v1.0 failed, it couldn’t be because of the content and brilliant lyrics. The reason had to be because a Canadian recorded it. This country is so intent on making America great again that new music coming from Canada will likely be ignored. There was only one solution …
Covfefe & Eggs
BREAKING NEWS …
Sarah Sanders declined to comment to a waitress this morning as to what she would like in her coffee and how she would like her eggs cooked. At (redacted) Grill, Sanders was overheard to say, “Those questions were answered yesterday. I will not keep addressing the same questions, especially those that refer to an ongoing breakfast.”
Rudy Giuliani is expected to clear up the Sanders breakfast controvery on Fox News later today.
Flies On Washington Walls #107 – Special Multi-Rudy Edition
Not Fake News, Just the Wrong News
The cable news stations are all over the story alleging that White House Chief of Staff John Kelly has been calling Donald Trump an idiot. That’s really not much of a story. The real story would be to find someone, anyone, part of the Trump administration who hasn’t called Trump an idiot. C’mon, who wants a Pulitzer? Find someone.
North Meets South
Sound Decision
Happy Birthday Melania
Jim Flanigan Looks at the World 