Post Super Tuesday Voices

The voices I hear normally tell me to practice good personal hygiene and try to stay semi-sober. However, in the wake of Super Tuesday, they have been overshadowed by new voices as I contemplate my upcoming Illinois primary vote.

My wallet had been telling me to vote for Mike Bloomberg, but how can I trust my wallet? No matter how much money I put in it, I always find it empty. Moot point now as Bloomberg is out. Hey Mike, you can always look back and know that American Samoa was all in for you. I think him being in the race was good. He showed the rest of the Democrats exactly how to attack Trump. His anti-Trump ads were clever and effective. I hope they continue.

My heart has been telling me to vote for Elizabeth Warren. However, my heart is also responsible for me ending up with … 5, count ’em, 5 kids. How can I possibly trust my heart after that? But I do love her as a candidate so much. I want to vote for her, but she appears to have no path forward for the nomination unless both Sanders and Biden die before July. That’s possible. Between them they have 155 years of experience and coronary risk.

My plate of borscht tells me to vote for Tulsi Gabbard. After Super Tuesday, 1 delegate secured with just 1990 to go to grab the nomination! Good job! I refuse to trust any soup that can be served cold, so I also don’t trust Gabbard who was endorsed by a cold soup.

My arthritic right hip tells me to vote for Bernie Sanders so that when it needs to be replaced, I will be able to afford it. But should I trust a body pain that is so close to being a pain in my ass? Bernie can be one, too.

My head is telling me to vote for Uncle Joe Biden. However, my head is the reason I write this blog. I can’t trust my head after exhibiting such poor decision-making. But my gut is also telling me to vote Biden. Now as for my gut, I trust that implicitly. It tells me when to cram more food into my pie-hole. It has never steered me wrong.

What it may come down to is if I want to pity-vote for Elizabeth Warren or jump aboard the Biden Bus. No early voting for me. I’m going to sit back and wait to see if Bernie & Joe survive without any medical incidents until the Illiois primary and if Liz Warren moves forward in the race. If Warren winnows herself and teams with Bernie or Biden as VP, now that would be a hard ticket to ignore, and a tough one for Trump to beat.