That’s No First Lady; That’s Trump’s Wife

White House First Ladies have a history of doing some amazing things for people of this country and all over the world.

  • Dolley Madison saved many American treasures from the White House before the British burned it in the War of 1812. She also made a great snack cake.
  • Eleanor Roosevelt was instrumental in the formation of the United Nations.
  • Betty Ford was a strong advocate for the Equal Rights Amendment, soon to be a former amendment if Team Trump has anything to say about it.
  • Rosalynn Carter chose to advocate for mental health issues, although not well enough considering the recent election results.
  • Laura Bush stayed married to a moron.

We now have the scoop on what First Lady Trump will promote, besides Ivanka’s new fall line.

As a former model who has done nude modeling in the past, Ms. Trump is aware that skin care is important, especially when that is all one is wearing. She was dismayed to learn that younger Americans are not wearing sunscreen and are simply not taking the precautions needed when exposed to the sun. So future First Lady Trump will advocate for prevention of skin cancer in young Americans, despite her husband’s vociferous objections. That’s right, the headline is that …

Melancholy Melania Muses over Millennial’s Malignant Melanoma Malaise while Morose Misanthropic Maniacal Meathead Mate Meddles Malevolently and Maliciously in Melania’s Munificent Matters.

Say that 3 times fast.

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