Trump Offers New Products to Raise Campaign Funds

Donald Trump’s campaign financial woes are no secret.  But being the resourceful businessman he is, Trump is offering some new “products” that should bring in some campaign cash.

Want to be a foreign ambassador? Then join the Trump Ambassador Club. For a $250,000 campaign contribution, you could become a “Gold Level” Ambassador to a country like France or the UK. Don’t have that much cash to contribute, but still want to help the Trump campaign and begin your career in world diplomacy? $100,000 contributed can get you a “Silver Level” Ambassador position to countries like New Zealand or Costa Rica. A “Bronze Level” contribution of $50,000 can get you an Ambassador position in countries like Andorra or Liberia. Still too rich? For just a $25,000 Trump campaign contribution, you can join the Trump Ambassador Club at the “Twisted Piece of Unknown Scrap Metal Found By The Side Of The Road Level” and become Ambassador to Haiti. If most of your money is tied up in guns, ammo and supplies stored in your bug out survivalist shelter, smaller contributions to the Trump Ambassador Club can net you a Deputy Ambassador position or a Special Envoy assignment. Contact the Trump campaign for details!

Successful Businessmen Wanted! Join the Trump Cabinet Club. For campaign contributions from $500,000 to $1,000,000, you too can run a whole part of life in these United States like you ran your business. Run business as Secretary of Commerce. Run education like a business as Secretary of Education. Get tough on terror as only a businessman can as Secretary of Homeland Security. Run something as Secretary of State.

For contributors with over $1,000,000 available, consider becoming a Trump Supremist. Your generous contribution will get you on the list for a position as a Supreme Court Justice of the United States. This is a plum job with a good salary and loads of vacation time. You will need to exercise some patience as people are dying for you to get this position.

Trump continues his plan to Make America Great Again by selling it off piece by piece on his way to the White House.



2 thoughts on “Trump Offers New Products to Raise Campaign Funds

  1. Another Jimmy here ( and worse yet Irish) who came here through your comment on RAW.
    ( sonofroyrogers).
    I have Five GRAND…can I be Dog Catcher of London ?
    As a New York lad of around Trump’s age, I have grown up with his publicly exposed ignorance.
    I don’t think any of his opposition’s staff knew about search engines since, if you put in “Village Voice, Donald Trump” you probably could get DECADES of ammunition on that fool.


    1. Five grand may get you something, but certainly not Dog Catcher of London. We want to make America Great Again, not the UK. Now maybe $5K could get you a Special U.S. Envoy to the Dog Catcher of London assignment. Interested?
      Hey, thanks for reading my nonsense.


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