Trump Unveils New Plan for Illegal Immigrants to Stay in USA

On the campaign trail today at a Misogynist Club luncheon in Cedar Hills, Iowa, Donald Trump unveiled a radical new plan that will allow illegal immigrants to stay in the USA while also helping keep our border secure.

Trump offered illegals the opportunity to become part of his planned border wall between the USA and Mexico for 6 months in exchange for citizenship. Pictures were released to the press of different test “walls.”

Border wall test stack
Border wall test stack

The identified advantage of a stacked wall is the perceived impermeability of the wall.  The disadvantage noted by the Trump campaign is that many illegals are required per square foot to make such a wall, thereby ensuring citizenship for more illegals, except maybe for the ones on the bottom.

Red Rover border wall
Red Rover border wall

Requiring less illegals to secure the border is the code-named Red Rover border wall. When challenged about the porous appearance of such a wall, Trump’s security team joined hands while Trump sang out the challenge, “Red rover, red rover, send Megyn Kelly right over.”

Trump made it clear that participation was voluntary, so details like food, water, shelter from the elements and human dignity were all the responsibility of the volunteers. “Illegals will have the choice to continue to be a part of the problem or a part of my wall,” Trump concluded.

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