Tag: political

Winnowing the Candidates – Part 1 Revised – Pete’s Back, Back Pete

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 1 Comment

Thankfully, South Bend Mayor Pete Buttigieg has taken his sweet time to officially announce he’s out of the Democratic race for President after I cut him last week. I’m certain he’s not ignoring me, and has just been getting his campaign in order before withdrawing gracefully from the race. Hold on, Mayor Pete. You’re back in.

My decision is partially because there was a winnowing of potential candidates that organically took place over the last week. Just take a look at this list that announced they are not running:

  • Michael Bloomberg. He will have to find solace with just being a billionaire and the 9th richest person in the world. Poor guy.
  • Hillary Clinton. She will have to be satisfied knowing that she could win the popular vote against Trump … again.
  • Senator Jeff Merkly. I like him even more after he pranked us with this video announcing he will not run.
  • Senator Sherrod Brown. He took Ben Carson’s advice at the 1:00 minute mark in this video, and he’ll be reprising Peter Falk’s role as Columbo in a new Broadway play. brown columbo 1
  • Former Attorney General Eric Holder. He is the main reason Mayor Pete is back in the race. I’ll explain.

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Good vs Bad Ideas

~ Jim Flanigan

I fancy myself an idea person, although I readily admit that most of my ideas are bad. I like to think that I have had so many bad ideas in my life that I have become a pretty good judge of ideas. I’ll give you an example.

Area Democrats are marching in the local St. Patrick’s Day Parade this Saturday. I will be marching with my daughter, unless it is too cold, or rainy, or if she gets a better offer. Then I’ll be proudly walking without my daughter and just with my fellow Democrats, flipping off anyone in the crowd with a MAGA hat on. Just kidding. I wouldn’t do that. But a MAGA-hatted parade watcher was flipping off Democrats in the last parade I marched in. Those MAGAts are class acts.

Anyway, a fellow Democrat offered the following ideas for the parade via email …

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Swing & Miss(ile)

~ Jim Flanigan

We already covered Donald Trump’s disastrous summit in Vietnam with Kim Jong-un. Now we get word that North Korea appears to be rebuilding a nuclear missile test site.

North Korea nuclear test site rebuild

I can’t tell anything from that picture. That could be an overhead pic of a mile away from my house for all I know. But the experts seem to think it looks fishy. Regardless of whether North Korea is actually rebuilding its nuclear test site or not, I saw this on Twitter and thought it just so perfectly summed-up the Trump-Kim relationship.

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Mite Be Funny #106 – YUGE Multi-Panel Edition

~ Jim Flanigan

Mite Be Funny #106a Bitter

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Winnowing the Candidates – Part 1

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 2 Comments

There are already too many Democratic candidates for the 2020 Presidential race. So each month, I will reduce the field by one candidate through an announcement in this blog. If more keep joining the race, we may have to eliminate a candidate every two weeks. After my blog post, the candidate named in the post will be notified and expected to withdraw from the race. Maybe by the 2020 convention, we’ll have the field whittled down to a single, strong candidate to defeat Donald Trump in 2020.

The first candidate I am eliminating from the race is …

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Calamari Appeteaser

~ Jim Flanigan

I am always eager to order calamari as an appetizer when I eat out. Yum. I enjoy the chewy texture which makes it seem like the calamari is fighting back a bit when I’m eating it. Give up calamari. You cannot defeat my jaws of steel and digestive juices.

Michael Cohen threw us a calamari appeteaser with his testimony when he dropped the name of Matthew Calamari numerous times. Who? Was Michael Cohen talking about a favorite character in Good Fellas or The Godfather?

Calamari is apparently former security muscle and now the COO of the Trump Organization. Do you think he knows some stuff that Americans would like to know? Get ready to see this guy Matthew Calamari in front of some House committees being grilled in the near future.

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Some Summit

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 1 Comment

The Donald Trump – Kim Jong-un Summit in Vietnam is over quicker than expected. Trump left earlier than planned and looked grumpy. Maybe it was the chairs?

kim trump chairs

Were the chairs chosen to make Kim look slim and tall while Trumpy looks short and fat? If so, that worked perfectly. And speaking of fat, here’s an artist’s conception of possibly why they could not reach any agreement …

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Flies On Washington Walls #143

~ Jim Flanigan

FOWW #143a Cohen

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Haiku to You

~ Jim Flanigan

I saw some 3-5-3 haiku on Twitter regarding Florida House Rep and Trump sycophant Matt Gaetz threatening Michael Cohen via this tweet.

gaetz tweet

I could not resist trying my hand at some haiku. I came up with a lot of variations on the same theme, but finally settled on this.

Gaetz sends tweet

To intimidate

Commits crime

Flies On Washington Walls #142 – Feel the Bern Multi-Panel Edition

~ Jim Flanigan

FOWW #142a Bernie

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Unpresidented

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 1 Comment

I thought a lot about President’s Day yesterday. I drove from Chicago down to St. Louis, and passed through Lincoln, Illinois as well as Springfield, Illinois where a young Abraham Lincoln lived and worked as an Illinois state legislator. I think Lincoln shed a few tears yesterday because of a tweet. Surprisingly, it was not a tweet from Donald Trump. No, this tweet came from Honest Abe’s own Republican party. Take a look …

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Surviving Day 2 of a National Emergency

~ Jim Flanigan

Donald Trump sought refuge at what appears to be a very crappy omelet bar at Mar-a-Lago as the United States bravely somehow made it through Day 2 of our national emergency of not having a big wall that Mexico refuses to pay for.

Trump omelet bar.jpg

Trump made good use of his Eggsecutive Time to decide if he wanted ketchup on his omelet or not. Two bottles of ketchup at the Mar-a-Lago omelet bar. Classy.

But something is amiss in that picture. Take a another look.

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Flies On Washington Walls #141 – National Emergency Multi-Panel Edition

~ Jim Flanigan

FOWW #141a National Emergency

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Flies On Washington Walls #140

~ Jim Flanigan

FOWW #140a Beto rally

 

FOWW #140b Beto rally

 

 

A Good Day For Trump Bashing

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 1 Comment

Today feels to me like a good day to bash Donald Trump. I don’t very often feel bad about making fun of Trump. He is a heinous individual. Really sub-human in a cretinous sort of way. Hey, even the dictionary tells me he is a worthless cheat.

trumpery definition

The person who summed up best how I feel is the Make Anagrams Great Again guy on Twitter, Chris Davis @tweakyourpc with this acrostic poem.

anagram trump name.gif

Wow, that really nails my feelings for Trump. But then I do sometimes feel bad if I take a cheap shot at him about something he can’t help, like his tiny hands. In my recent Flies On Washington Walls SOTU address preview, I had the flies predict there would be more of this type of two-fisted drinking.

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An Open Letter to American Employers

~ Jim Flanigan

Dear American Employers,

I am writing to you to ask that you please excuse any hungover employees today. They are likely hungover due to watching Donald Trump’s State of the Union address. They probably played a drinking game associated with the Trump SOTU address, possibly a drink every time Trump sniffed or made a partisan comment. And really, drinking was the only way to get through that whole speech of his. Please cut the hungover drunks some slack today. They are patriots and were just doing their civic duty.

Resistingly yours,

Jim Flanigan

 

Flies On Washington Walls – YUGE Multi-Panel State of the Union Preview Edition

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 1 Comment

FOWW #139a SOTU

 

FOWW #139b SOTU

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No WiFi For Me

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 1 Comment

It was so cold here in the Chicago area that our internet didn’t work for a day and a half. Really. As I checked on available wifi (like maybe a neighbor that does not require a security password), I saw this …

wififbi

Hmmm, Claney is a neighbor. OfficeJet 4650 is some printer. And FBI Surveilance Van is misspelled. Sorry, that should be Surveillance. Wait a second, what the what? What is an FBI Surveillance Van doing in my neighborhood? Is the Heating and Cooling van across the street housing the FBI? How about that UPS truck? How about our mailman in his mail van? Is that a gun in his pocket or is he just happy to be delivering my Popular Blogging magazine?

As I checked on wifi access during the day and a half of internet abstinence, the FBI Surveillance Van wifi came and went. I tried to access their wifi, but no luck. I wonder if they are cruising the neighborhood trying to find out who is trying to access their wifi. I hope they didn’t waste a FISA warrant on me. They will be very disappointed. All my subversive activities are published on this blog and Twitter. Just follow. If they do come for me, I am ready with my defense … No collusion.

RESIST

~ Jim Flanigan

I wear my RESIST button everywhere on my coat.

resist button

It hangs from a tag on my coat, so I am able to turn it face down to avoid any confrontation with a Trumpster. I have a very low tolerance level for stupidity, and am just not interested in engaging a Trumpster.

It was very cold yesterday morning when I stumbled into the oral surgeon’s office for a scheduled root canal procedure. And then I realized I may have made a mistake …

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My Phone is Broken

~ Jim Flanigan

Damn. My phone is not even paid off yet, and it is already broken. Take a look at this.

phone temp

 

There is no possible way that the high temperature for Wednesday can be -17 degrees Fahrenheit with a low of -28F. If that were possible, and it is not, that would easily set a new record. This phone is definitely broken and clearly malfunctioning. I have no choice. My course is clear. I know what must be done.

phone break

Anyone who tells me climate change is not real gets the same treatment.