Tag: funny

My Vacation Water Rescue

~ Jim Flanigan

Sure, I helped in a water rescue while on vacation. It was nothing. No need to heap praise or adulation on me. A key to the city might be nice, but I’m not pushing for it.

My wife had used a painful foot injury as a lame (pun intended) excuse to avoid shopping with relatives. So I was in downtown Grand Ledge, Michigan walking endlessly from shop to shop while looking for something sharp to purchase and thrust into my heart.

Part of the group I was with took a break from the excitement of shopping to walk along the river. My grand-niece commented that a man was calling 911. On us? I went to confront him and cause a scene. Anything to get out of more shopping to come.

He was calling 911 since there was a riding mower in the river.

Mower1

Unfortunately …

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My Wife Has Forgotten the Concept of the Free Hotel Breakfast

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 1 Comment

Many years ago when we had just two kids, my wife and I wanted to take them to Disney World. One of the biggest problems was lack of cash. My wife rejected my idea of hitchhiking down to Florida, and suggested we stay at a modest hotel that offered a free breakfast as a way to save money. Wow, that sounded boring and full of common sense, but that’s what we did. At that free hotel breakfast, we not only ate our morning meal, but we squirreled away food in every pocket and bag we could bring to the breakfast area without arousing suspicion.

Marge coat with pockets

Those muffins, boxes of cereal, and fruit became our snacks at Disney throughout the day. After one day of walking a Disney theme park with my pants pocket soaked in grease, I stopped taking bacon.

With that history, I was surprised to see this yesterday morning after breakfast …

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Pool Fools Rule

~ Jim Flanigan

I’m not sure how I would feel about our hotel pool if I was a bit older. I noticed this sign at the pool …

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My Wife Does Not Understand the Concept of Hotel Soap

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 2 Comments

As we hit our hotel late Tuesday night, I was encouraged to see this in the hotel bathroom shower …

soap2

That’s some quality cleansers available for showering. In addition, I see my wife brought this …

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Too Much Junk in the Trunk

~ Jim Flanigan

We arrived at our relative’s place in central Michigan and I immediately put my amateur arborist skills to work. When I was a kid, I had planned to be a tree surgeon when I grew up, but I couldn’t stand the sight of sap. That’s why I still have trouble looking in the mirror.

Vaudeville jokes aside, our relatives had a tree that had to come down. A quick look and the reason for the tree’s demise should be apparent to all, even non-arborists.

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Sort of Closed for Vacation

~ Jim Flanigan

This will be a spotty week for this blog, although that sounds like an accurate description of every week for this blog. We said good-bye today to our beloved family member of the canine variety after 14 & 1/2 years. We’ll miss you Gus.

Gus

Yeah, those lumps on his chest were tumors that were possibly cancerous and perhaps did him in. That, and being old. RIP little buddy.

I also am transitioning from one computer to another, so that is a royal pain. On top of that, we are headed to Michigan for a short vacation visiting relatives for a few days. They’re nice relatives, relatively speaking. Did you know that Michigan beaches are some of the best in the world? Of course, the relatives we are visiting live smack dab in the middle of Michigan, nowhere close to those beaches.

Based on what is going on in the USA these days with imprisoning children, I am tempted to drive right through Michigan to Canada and never look back. Gus has gone on to a better place. These days Canada is better than the USA, so why not the rest of us?

I am hoping some things catch my eye as we make our journey, and I get inspired to post a wacky pic or observation. But even if I don’t, you can be sure I’ll be back this weekend with a new Sunday Mite Be Funny.

 

 

Mite Be Funny #72 – Special Father’s Day Multi-Panel Edition

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 2 Comments

Mite Be Funny #72a Manafort Father's Day

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36 (it’s a play on the title of the TV show called 24 starring Kiefer Sutherland which I never watched but hear was a very good show, although don’t expect that kind of writing quality in this blog post, the title of which numerically implies it should be 50% better than the TV show, but it is definitely not)

~ Jim Flanigan

Here was what was going to be the plan as I understood it for the past 36 hours. My youngest daughter was having some school friends over to the house for a birthday sleepover as she celebrates turning ten years old. The plan was for my wife and the girls to watch a movie in a tent outside and then fall sleep there. I envisioned myself sitting inside, sipping an ice cold adult beverage, watching whatever movie I wanted to watch (a rare treat) and maybe creating a special Father’s Day Mite Be Funny cartoon that would keep me amused and chortling to myself all evening as I fall asleep with a wry smile on my face.

These last 36 hours have not gone according to plan.

Friday 6AM – I started working from home early Friday morning at 6AM which means I checked Facebook, the news feeds, weather, etc. for a couple hours. I was able to book not one, but two orders from a customer in Mauritius. Ten points will be awarded if you can point where that tiny island nation is located on this map.

world-map-clickable

Give up? OK, here’s the answer …

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All Decked Out

~ Jim Flanigan

On Wednesday evening, I biked about 1 mile over to a stranger’s house, helped myself to an adult beverage from their cooler and settled into a comfy couch on their back deck. The homeowner let me stay and even offered me snacks! The reason is simple.

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In Defense of Michael Cohen

~ Jim Flanigan

The latest news is that Michael Cohen’s lawyers have quit, allegedly due to a disagreement over fees. Who would have ever guessed that Donald Trump’s lawyer would not pay his bills? I guess the rotten apple doesn’t fall too far from Trump Tower.

But why not save a ton of money and just represent himself if he’s a lawyer? Oh right, he got his degree from the Thomas Cooley Law School which was recently mentioned by Politico as being the worst law school in the US. Regardless, it isn’t going to take much lawyering to plead guilty to the rock-solid case the feds are preparing against him.

With all that said, I have decided to contribute to Michael Cohen’s legal defense fund, on 1 giant condition …

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Pill Ow Talk

~ Jim Flanigan

I was delivering this bottle of powerful pain relievers to someone who really needs them today …

Pills

I have a very important question to ask about such a delivery.

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Shame of the Century

~ Jim Flanigan

I can’t believe he shook the hand of a ruthless dictator.

handshake trump un

I also can’t believe that Trump shook Un’s hand.

Flies On Washington Walls #111 – Special Summit Multi-Panel Edition

~ Jim Flanigan

FOWW #111 Un Toileta

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Very Short Stories

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 2 Comments

I just finished the basics for what I consider my first proper short story. Sure, I’ve written a lot before including over 1000 posts here, but this is a real short story with words and not gifs, punctuation with proper use of apostrophes & parentheses, gerunds & infinitives, fictional characters that are not Donald Trump (we would be so lucky if Trump was a fictional character), a plot and not my usual rambling screed (which is where I sense this blog post is headed), and some meaning and message rather than the usual head-scratching jokey post.

So now what? I could publish it here and watch as one of my blog readers takes it and sells it to Hollywood as a major motion picture screenplay starring Chris Pratt and Scarlett Johannson. You greedy bastards. You would cut me out, wouldn’t you? Just for that, I have decided to do this instead …

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G7 Summit Highlights

~ Jim Flanigan

The current leader of the free world, German Chancellor Angela Merkel asks Donald Trump if colored pictures would help him understand the material presented at the G7 Summit. Meanwhile, a walrus inexplicably appears over Trump’s right shoulder.

G7 Merkel

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Mite Be Funny #71 – Summer Multi-Panel Edition

~ Jim Flanigan

Mite Be Funny #71a Swimming

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Random Thoughts for a Rainy Day

~ Jim Flanigan

What better time is it to explore the depths of my reportedly absent mind than a rainy day? So without further ado (and further adon’t), I offer you another edition of my Random Thoughts.

My dog is now losing her puppy teeth.

Lola tooth

Does that mean a new necklace for my wife is in her future?

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Monkey See, Monkey Do

~ Jim Flanigan

First, apologies to monkeys. I did not want to drag you into the swamp called the Trump administration, but I was missing a title and that one seemed appropriate and did not require much thought.

By now, you may have seen this.

Pence water bottle.gif

I just wish Trump had also tried kissing Melania. Would Pence have tried, too? Probably not as Melania I am sure would have fended off Trump’s amorous attempt. She has been able to protect herself from less so far that we have seen …

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