Mite Be Funny #305 – Big Game Edition
Tag: football
The Fifth Day of Blogging
If all football/soccer matches were like today’s World Cup final, I’d consider watching more. Anyway, watching that classic match unexpectedly set me back a bit today. What I’m getting at is I didn’t finish my Christmas poem post. But I did get this unexpected Christmas gift today.
That’s right, misshapen muffins (good name for a band, but a bad Christmas gift). Along with the misshapen muffins (in concert at the United Center for one night only!), I also received some coffee. I don’t drink coffee. To put a positive spin on it, any additional gifts I get can’t be worse. Can they?
The Liberal Media Invades Football (satire alert!)
I think I finally understand the complaints about the liberal media. It all became perfectly clear as I watched my beloved Chicago Bears dismantle the New England Patriots on Monday Night Football last night. Take a look at who Peyton and Eli Manning had as a guest on their Manningcast.
That’s right. A liberal former Democrat President who had nothing to do with football during his career. How about having a qanonservative former Republican President as a guest who actually owned a professional football team? Here’s the story.
Continue reading “The Liberal Media Invades Football (satire alert!)”An Unbearable Game
If you didn’t get the hint from last Sunday’s critically acclaimed ignored Mite Be Funny cartoon, I went to the Chicago Bears football game. Not the kind of football where feet are primarily used to move the ball, but the American football where hands are mostly used to advance the ball, but feet are still used to run and kick occasionally. Wouldn’t that be a boring game if feet weren’t used to help score with the football?
Okay, I stand corrected. That looks interesting. Anyway, I went to the game and despite sitting in great seats thanks to a wealthy and generous friend, I have complaints. Now, I know it is not Festivus season yet, but I can’t stop myself from airing my grievances.
And who better to share my grievances with than you lucky blog followers who are glued to your screens as a captive audience? So, here we go …
Continue reading “An Unbearable Game”Mite Be Funny #293 – Game Day
Life in These United States
You may remember the title of this blog post as being a regular feature in the old Reader’s Digest magazine. My mother used to buy the magazine when I was a kid, and I recall reading heartwarming and funny stories about living in the USA. There have been some changes to life in the USA over the past few decades. Here’s a story about football, divorce, a pole dancer, the Jerry Springer show, and the pole dancer’s therapy monkey that attacked a child on Halloween. <deep breath> Before I ask you to click to read more, here’s a pic of the therapy monkey sipping juice to entice you to click and read on.
Yes, the dancer’s performing name is Pole Assassin.
Continue reading “Life in These United States”Mask Mandate for my Masked Man-Date
I was invited to the Chicago Bears home opener this coming Sunday by a rich friend that takes pity on me from time to time and invites me to various sporting events to sit in very good seats and eat very good food. I was flattered by the man-date invite, but also torn and took a day to make the decision. On the one hand, I want to go to the game and don’t want the man-date invites to stop. On the other hand, COVID! I would be one of 60,000 plus people in Soldier Field in Chicago on Sunday. I really wasn’t sure of what to do.
I was leaning toward going, but maybe upgrading my choice of mask. There is now a mask mandate in Chicago, so I would need to mask up when I’m in enclosed areas at the stadium. I thought I should get one of the fancy N95 or KN95 masks for upgraded protection over my normal cloth or surgical mask.
I met a couple much less rich friends for brunch on the day I needed to make the decision about going. One of my friends told me that he went to two Chicago White Sox baseball games unmasked, and it was fine. Still, I felt I needed a sign, and boy, did I ever get one.
As we were walking in the parking lot, I looked down, and this is the sign I spotted.
Continue reading “Mask Mandate for my Masked Man-Date”Mite Be Funny #238 – Fantasy Football Draft Time
Are You Ready for Some Football? My Wife is.
My wife likes American football. Her favorite team is our hometown Chicago Bears. Go Bears!
BTW, that’s not her. But she really wants the NFL to hold a season this year. The NBA and NHL have sort of figured out how to finish their truncated 2019-2020 seasons despite the COVID-19 coronavirus. Major League Baseball is still struggling with how to hold a season. My wife doesn’t care about those sports. She just wants the NFL season to go on as scheduled. It’s not that she’s such a football fanatic. It’s because of this beauty …
Continue reading “Are You Ready for Some Football? My Wife is.”
Emasculation Conversation
I feel so emasculated, but any emasculating done was self-emasculation. I love football, but had ZERO interest in watching the college football National Championship game on Monday night. I rated these 4 TV events as “must see,” well above the college football game.
1) Jeopardy Greatest of all Time finale. I was rooting for James since he is from the Chicago suburbs, but all props to Ken as Jeopardy GOAT. I felt sorry for badly overmatched Brad until hearing he is a multi-millionaire thanks to Jeopardy. Boo-hoo. And he won another $250K for being bad. Geesch.
2) Tonight’s Rachel Maddow interview with indicted Trump associate Lev Parnas. I expect a lot of “no comments” from Lev’s attorney, but I hope Rachel elicits a juicy tidbit or two.
3) Last night’s Rachel Maddow dissection of the Lev Parnas document drop showing just how mobbed-up the Trump crime family is.
4) The Democratic debate. I thought they all did well and nobody did terrible. Yawn. They are all so much better than Trump. Sounds like a new blog post on Winnowing the Candidates is overdue.
And then, the LSU-Clemson (I hope I got the teams right) game checks in. Oh, I forgot that Seinfeld rerun I watched. And Trump and Melanoma wearing a raincoat were at the indoor football game. Football just got bumped from my Top 5.
Flies On Washington Walls #162 – National Championship Football Game Multi-Panel Edition (aka Melania’s Raincoat Edition)
There’s more. Click through to keep reading.
Mite Be Funny #102 – Special Big Game Multi-Panel Edition
Football Frenzy
My fantasy football season was a disaster this year. My excuse is that I was so distracted by the mid-term elections and the need to elect a Democratic Congress, that my early season effort and concentration suffered. Thanks Obama, for not running for a third term. But I have enjoyed the resurgence of the Chicago Bears as they won the NFC North this season.
I get all choked up about it as I type this as will Bears fans that read this.
Or maybe it was just a pork chop. I don’t know. I do know I never expected the Bears to be this good. To amuse myself during the football season in case the Bears have a bad team, I play other football games like Pick ‘Em games where you just try and pick the winners of each game each week. I normally do okay in those games, and I usually just hope to win a weekly prize. My dreams got a little bigger this last week of the football regular season. Take a look at these standings.
Mite Be Funny #79
Mite Be Funny #52 – Huge Multi-Panel Stream of Consciousness Super Bowl Edition
Magic is Real
I saw this clip of this high school cheerleader (whoop, whoop … uh-oh, that cheerleader reference set off the Roy Moore alarm) and I have been convinced once and for all that magic is real …
Take My Knee, Please
As I got ready to watch my beloved Chicago Bears take on the detestable Green Bay Packers in a Thursday Night Football tilt, I wondered how both teams would address the whole “take a knee” issue. I know I was ready.
Mite Be Funny #28
Election Audibles
Although Eli Manning of the New York Giants later denied it, he was definitely caught on video calling a Trump audible during this weekend’s football game. Take a listen for yourself …
Tebow Time
In an egomaniacal display of narcissism, failed professional football player Tim Tebow staged a workout in front of baseball scouts today.
Jim Flanigan Looks at the World 