I was invited to the Chicago Bears home opener this coming Sunday by a rich friend that takes pity on me from time to time and invites me to various sporting events to sit in very good seats and eat very good food. I was flattered by the man-date invite, but also torn and took a day to make the decision. On the one hand, I want to go to the game and don’t want the man-date invites to stop. On the other hand, COVID! I would be one of 60,000 plus people in Soldier Field in Chicago on Sunday. I really wasn’t sure of what to do.
I was leaning toward going, but maybe upgrading my choice of mask. There is now a mask mandate in Chicago, so I would need to mask up when I’m in enclosed areas at the stadium. I thought I should get one of the fancy N95 or KN95 masks for upgraded protection over my normal cloth or surgical mask.
I met a couple much less rich friends for brunch on the day I needed to make the decision about going. One of my friends told me that he went to two Chicago White Sox baseball games unmasked, and it was fine. Still, I felt I needed a sign, and boy, did I ever get one.
As we were walking in the parking lot, I looked down, and this is the sign I spotted.
That’s right … on the ground … in a sealed package … there was a KN95 mask. It was a sign from above, or actually below this time. I accepted the man-date invitation to go to the game.
But I got to thinking that I may look weird wearing a KN95 mask outside. Few others will wear masks outdoors. Then I saw a solution named Rilla while watching the Las Vegas Raiders on Monday Night Football. That’s Rilla as in Rilla the Gorilla, unofficial mascot/superfan of the Las Vegas Raiders.
Mask? Check! Problem solved! Dressed as a Chicago version of Rilla, I will be able to wear a mask outdoors and not look weird or stand out. Now, where can I rent a gorilla suit so I can conform to the mask mandate on my masked man-date?
A gorilla suit may be difficult to locate, but one thing that is always easy to find is my award-winning book of short stories.
Click this link to check out the reviews and buy it online.
Jim Flanigan Looks at the World 
One thought on “Mask Mandate for my Masked Man-Date”