Mite Be Funny #277 – Life’s Rich Pageant
Category: Political
Mite Be Funny #276 – Gun Control
Ironic Republican Political Advertising
You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to serve as an elected government official, but it doesn’t hurt. We’re spoiled by the elected representatives in our Fox River Valley area. Representing our area in the US House of Representatives, we have a literal rocket scientist (Democrat Dr. Bill Foster with his Doctorate in Physics), another scientist with a Master’s Degree in Biochemical Engineering (Democrat Sean Casten), a registered nurse (Democrat Lauren Underwood), and an attorney with his undergrad degree in Mechanical Engineering (Democrat Raja Krishnamoorthi). Hmm, what do they all have in common? Yes, they are all from this area. Yes, they are all currently serving in the House of Representatives. Yes, they all received votes. I sense you aren’t even trying. Think on it just a bit more. No, despite being House members, they don’t all actually live in the same house, à la the TV show Big Brother. Try again. Yes, that’s correct! They are all Democrats.
Well, what we have for her and all citizens of the USA are competent people providing good governance. Meanwhile, across the aisle, I saw these two ads for a Republican candidate for governor in Georgia.
Continue reading “Ironic Republican Political Advertising”Game Time
Do you want to play a game? My wife and I made signs for the pro-choice rally we attended today. Can you guess which one I made and which one my wife made?
It was an excellent rally, and the message was clear … VOTE! I wore the message proudly on my shirt and found a handmaiden with the same message …
Continue reading “Game Time”Another Edition of … Am I a Bad Guy?
Tonight I start what I hope will be a series of blood plasma donations. Blood plasma is critically needed to create medicines to treat rare, genetic, and chronic diseases. I first heard about it through my brother-in-law who donates. Of course, he’s also donated one of his kidneys. Show-off. Anyway, here’s an overview if you are interested.
I am fine with all that, but one thing troubles me. I want to specify that my blood plasma only be used to treat Democrats and Independents. Definitely NOT to be used to help Republicans. Am I a bad guy?
Maddy About You
If you haven’t seen the Madison Cawthorn nude video, I can’t recommend it. There is no real way to unsee his pelvic thrusting toward his buddy’s face which Cawthorn has attempted to explain away as a crass bit of fooling around in an attempt at humor. Hey, that’s this blog! Stop stealing my bit, Maddy.
Anyway, I felt I should share some of my crass, foolish, and attempted humorous thoughts on it. See if you get my subtle points. But just a warning, buckle up before clicking to continue reading.
Continue reading “Maddy About You”Marshall (sic) Law?
We all know Marjorie Taylor Greene is a dope. It should have come as no surprise to anyone when she tweeted about “marshall” law when she really meant martial law. But now, why is Fox News repeating her mistake in their chyron below without any “(sic)” or quotation marks to identify the faux pas?
Maybe that was a rhetorical question. Fox is a bag of dopes, too.
But it did get me thinking about this marshall/martial thing. What if …
Continue reading “Marshall (sic) Law?”You Are What You See
I think the people who see penises everywhere may be looking too hard and long (pun intended) for them.
Blog title proven.
Oh, Baby!
I was cleaning out my personal email, and I literally groaned when I saw this in an email covering some consumer news.
How long do you think it will be before we see this on Faux News?
Continue reading “Oh, Baby!”If a totally hypothetical former President gets divorced for a third time, gets remarried, and somehow reelected, will his new wife be known as The Fourth Lady? Asking for a friend. Just kidding, he doesn’t have any.
Goodbye Emmy, Hello Oscar
I’m not sure why my last post was sadder. Was it because I did not get an extra role in the Netflix series filming in my town this past week, or was it because I have a pathetic desire to get on television? Maybe both?
Well, I turned the page and snagged a movie role instead. Could there be an Oscar in my future? Definitely! I think Oscar is the name of the cameraman who will be filming the movie.
So, which movie? Here’s a synopsis.
And did I snag the lead role of old racist George?
Continue reading “Goodbye Emmy, Hello Oscar”My Emmy Dreams are Fading Fast
I had plans to revive my television career and win an Emmy in 2022, but those plans took a hit this past weekend. Oh, did I bury the lead that I previously had a career in television? I had a supporting role on the game show Shop ’til You Drop. I was on a business trip to California many years ago, went to watch a Shop ’til You Drop taping in Hollywood, and was plucked out from among the rabble in the studio audience to play a supporting role on that episode. I got to wear a colorful clown wig saturated with shampoo that contestants smelled in an effort to guess the brand of shampoo. I wore the wig well, bringing a never before seen regal dignity to the role and fully expected an Emmy nomination for my performance. Sadly, it never came. Probably due to the Irish prejudice rife in Hollywood in those days as evidenced by this Itchy & Scratchy cartoon from that era.
After hanging around the studio’s back alley entrance for a few weeks unsuccessfully waiting to be discovered after my breakout role, I grudgingly left Sin City to return to my career as the Sales & Marketing Manager for a Midwestern temperature sensor manufacturer. Yawn. It was difficult after having tasted the forbidden fruit growing on the seamy underbelly of Hollywood. Oh, wait, scratch that. I forgot, my wife sometimes reads this mess.
Anyhoo, I fully expected that my television career was about to be resurrected this past weekend after seeing this in the local paper.
Continue reading “My Emmy Dreams are Fading Fast”Vacation Planning Time
If COVID is indeed on the wane, then now is the time to plan a summer vacation. I’m doing so by eliminating parts of the country where I definitely won’t vacation. It’s pretty automatic to eliminate the whole West Coast due to annual summer wildfires, sometimes referred to as liberal barbeques by Republicans. But this year, I’m also eliminating the whole East Coast. Why?
That’s enough to keep me away from Rhode Island, but the actual details are much worse than I ever expected.
Continue reading “Vacation Planning Time”I Can Finally Speak Truth
When I last checked, there were 461,595 people ahead of me in line to get truthing on Trump’s new Truth Social platform.
No matter how many times I clicked on that spinning refresh icon next to that large number, the app still showed me at 461,596th. And then all of a sudden, I got an email telling me I’m in! Allow me to clarify … I received 24 emails telling me I was in. As the email clearly stated, “we are still fixing many bugs in our technology.” Well, I guess that’s some truth.
The app directed me to set-up a profile. I needed a Truth Social name, profile pic, and background pic.
I waited to be immediately blocked, but I was surprised to see this.
Continue reading “I Can Finally Speak Truth”Flies On Washington Walls #199
Flies On Washington Walls #198 – SOTU Question
What Ukraine Means to Me
Just a few years ago, before Donald Trump asked Ukrainian President Zelenskyy for an infamous favor and brought the spotlight on Ukraine, this is how I viewed the country.
- It was The Ukraine. I’m not sure why, since it makes no sense. It’s not The Greece or The Canada. Why The Ukraine? No idea, but it sounded correct.
- The capital city was two-syllable Kiev.
- Ukrainians elected a comedian as president. How could they be taken seriously? Yes, a similar argument can be made about the USA in 2016, but that’s a blog post for another day that has already been written by many and read by millions.
- Ukrainian national clothing was colorful.
- The Ukraine was part of the former USSR, so could they really be trusted? Aren’t they likely in cahoots with Russia?
- We have a Ukrainian Village neighborhood in Chicago, so maybe that means they’re okay and can be trusted after all.
- I had no idea why The Ukraine was important economically.
Things have changed for me.
Continue reading “What Ukraine Means to Me”Mite Be Funny #263 – Freedom for Ukraine!
I realize that some of you may not be able to or may not have the desire to translate. Right mite ends with, “Freedom!” Left mite replies by saying, “Mite Be Patriotic,” although it can also be translated as “Tick Be Patriotic,” which doesn’t work quite as well. The bottom line is that we support Ukraine as they are invaded by Putin’s army.
If you wish to donate to relief efforts, please do. I’m as much of a pacifist as anyone, but I want to arm the Ukrainian military. That’s what Ukrainian President Zelenskyy has requested – money for armaments. Why the USA has not flooded Ukraine with weapons is beyond me. But here’s how you can donate directly to the Ukrainian military through the National Bank of Ukraine.
Bank transfers are easy. Just visit with your banker and bring the details from the above link. Freedom for Ukraine!
I Can’t Speak Truth
Why can’t I speak Truth? Because they won’t let me into Truth Social, the latest Trump social media experiment. I missed Trump’s last social media experiment, a short-lived blog that lasted all of one month. My blog has (amazingly) lasted about 8000% longer. I think I did the math correct, but it’s not like you’re going to check. Anyway, there was no way I wanted to miss this new Trump social media foray. I signed up for the app, and received this message.
Ugh! That was a few days ago, and I am still locked out. Estimates are the end of March for the app to be fully functional. It reminds me of this famous Michael Keaton movie scene.
To be fair, the only reason I wanted to join is to leave a terrible review and then delete the app. Oh, and maybe leave as my Truth Social legacy a few virulent anti-Trump posts about him being a career criminal, and that would be speaking the truth.
Let Lying Trumpers Lie
I’ve gone back and forth with friends debating whether or not we should make an attempt to reason with our relatives and friends who are hardcore MAGA Trumpers. Sure, we want our loved ones to see the error of their ways, but I have become convinced that trying to sway them is a lost cause. To support my argument, I present this video from a couple days ago.
Your eyes may have glazed over just a bit at the falsehoods flung around like feces in the monkey house at the zoo. Sounds like something crazy Aunt Jane or Uncle Joe at the holidays would say after getting into the spiked eggnog, but it perfectly supports why trying to show them their thinking is flawed is futile. First, take a look at the sheer volume of nonsense this woman spouted along with the truth listed underneath each.
Continue reading “Let Lying Trumpers Lie”
Jim Flanigan Looks at the World 