I Can Finally Speak Truth

When I last checked, there were 461,595 people ahead of me in line to get truthing on Trump’s new Truth Social platform.

No matter how many times I clicked on that spinning refresh icon next to that large number, the app still showed me at 461,596th. And then all of a sudden, I got an email telling me I’m in! Allow me to clarify … I received 24 emails telling me I was in. As the email clearly stated, “we are still fixing many bugs in our technology.” Well, I guess that’s some truth.

The app directed me to set-up a profile. I needed a Truth Social name, profile pic, and background pic.

I waited to be immediately blocked, but I was surprised to see this.

They wanted me to add some bio info and to have fun. No problem. My profile was complete. But I figured that surely the app would immediately block me. I had heard that for such a supposedly free speech platform, people were getting blocked right and left. Much to my surprise, this happened.

That’s right, within seconds I had a follower, Uncle Rico from Napoleon Dynamite. And why not, I had an attractive profile.

I continued picking up followers.

Well, if I have followers, I can’t let them down. I had to truth something. I decided to keep it cryptic with a dash of philosophy and a splash of whimsy.

Put that in your pipe and smoke it, truthers. Maybe I can be the new Q with a bunch of cryptic, nonsensical posts. Take away some of a Q (maybe the Qwazy part) and you have a C for Convict #01062021. Hey, that’s me!

I’ll try a few more posts to see if I can lure a few truthers into the abattoir of my razor sharp wit. Stay tuned or join me speaking the truth on Truth Social, the social media platform for morons.