Flies On Washington Walls #177
Category: donald trump
BREAKING NEWS: Donald Trump announces plans for a second rally in Tulsa to commemorate the life of former presidential candidate Herman Cain who caught COVID-19 coronavirus at the first Trump Tulsa rally and passed away.
Flies On Washington Walls #176
Park that Ford on the Bench
About a year and a half ago, I named my all-President basketball team. My line-up:
- Barack Obama at point guard
- Dwight Eisenhower at shooting guard
- George H.W. Bush at small forward
- Gerald Ford at power forward
- Abraham Lincoln at center
But then I saw this new painting that some pro-Trump painter is currently hawking online.
Gross. I have so many questions …
Good Brains!
I saw on Twitter a lot of this page from the mental health acuity test that Donald Trump is claiming he “aced.”
I figured that was just one of many pages of this test. Trump explained to Fox’s Chris Wallace that the last five questions were particularly difficult. But I was shocked when I looked closer at that one page.
Spam Much?
I signed-up for Trump’s NH rally that was ultimately canceled. I didn’t plan to go, but I wanted to see what they would do with my email. Spam bomb time and all very grifty. This is a perfect example …
Hmmm, for $20 I get a FREE yard sign. I don’t think they understand how FREE works.
But what if you have more money to spend on FREE merchandise and want to be more welcoming to other Trump supporters? Then this next offer is for you, but act quickly.
My COVID Diet
I’ve delayed writing this post for a month now. I know what you’re thinking … I should have made it 2 months. But I finally feel comfortable writing it now for reasons I will soon disclose.
But first, even though most of my blog posts are considered uproariously hilarious by the general public, and members of General Public, I want to make it perfectly clear that I take the COVID-19 coronavirus seriously. I got tested after participating in BLM marches. I social distance. I WEAR A FREAKIN’ MASK. You should, too. COVID-19 goes hand-in-hand with Donald Trump as the scourge of my lifetime.
But thanks to COVID-19, I have lost weight. I’ll explain …
Disturbing Stats
I have found that the most popular blog posts I write involve food, travel, health & exercise. Everyone (including me!) is tired of political posts. We all know Trump is awful, and while you’ve been reading this sentence, he’s now done another terrible thing which is blah, blah, blah. I find that I need to write some political posts for personal cathartic reasons, and they barely get noticed … except for my post titled “It All Adds Up to the Mark of the Beast.” If you don’t recall it (And why would you? It was eminently forgettable), go ahead, click the link, and take a look. It’s number rubbish, because I’m a math geek, but I happened to notice a disturbing trend for that months-old post …
Unfair Government Control!
No, I’m not talking about the government-ordered shutdown of businesses. I miss going to concerts and sports this year, but come on, let’s flatten the COVID-19 coronavirus curve.
No, I’m not talking about government-mandated mask wearing. If you don’t wear a mask, you’re an idiot. Hmm, let me restate that so you idiots will understand better. If you don’t wear a mask, your an idiot. Subtle, but appropriate difference.
No, I’m not talking about the government planning to inject us with tracking microchips included with the new COVID-19 vaccine. I’m ready for that.
The government won’t let me have any of this …
Questioning QAnon
I’m confused, as regular readers of this blog already know. Here’s what currently has my head spinning.
- The QAnon conspiracy folks love Trump.
- The QAnon conspiracy folks think the COVID-19 coronavirus is a hoax.
- The QAnon conspiracy folks think the COVID-19 coronavirus vaccine will inject tracking microchips into us. They are definitely anti-vax for COVID-19.
- Donald Trump keeps promising (likely lying) that a COVID-19 coronavirus vaccine will be available by the end of the year.
- The QAnon conspiracy folks continue to love Trump.
My head hurts. Please explain.
Mite Be Funny #178 – Special Multi-Panel COVID-19 PSA Edition
Trump’s weekend speeches make it clear how comfortable he feels walking on the wrong side of history. If only he felt the same way about busy highways.
Flies On Washington Walls #175 – Special Multi-Panel Mt. Rushmore Speech Recap
Is it just me, or is Make America Great Again a lame slogan for an incumbent President trying for a second term? I guess it’s better than Make America Great Again, Like Russia that Trump’s boss Putin suggested.
Game Time!
Let’s play a game. One of these people is not like the others. Can you identify the person in this pic not accused (yet) of a sexual crime?
HINT: The person not accused (yet) of a sexual crime is the one that looks high as a kite.
HINT: The silent “s” in Ghislaine stands for sex.
HINT: The men pictured are both sexual deviants.
Thank you for playing.
Rubled
I was in a rhyming, but bad mood about Trump knowing about Russian bounties on American soldiers’ heads as I walked this morning. The only thing that kept me from screaming was that I was also picking berries as I walked. Anyway, here it is …
The poem is a pic, so feel free to save and share.
Buy Bargain Book
The blockbuster novella I published earlier this year called My Parasitic Twin Wants to be President is for sale this weekend for under $1. Use this link to buy a digital copy you can read on a PC, Mac, iPhone, Android phone, or Kindle tablet for just $0.99 … https://tinyurl.com/BuyTwinBook. All proceeds will be donated to local Democratic candidates.
The NY Times Book Review noted, “This is one of the most powerful books of 2020.” They weren’t talking about the book I published, but my book does have reviews. How about this one?
“A witty story that combines humor, satire, and astute observations of our current political reality. Connects the absurd with contemporary issues, providing the reader with an unexpected, humorous, and thought-provoking perspective of modern times. Well written and engaging from cover to cover. Highly recommended!” Who needs the NY Times Book Review when you have a review like that on Amazon?
Now if you don’t intend to purchase, I need to introduce you to the illustrator.
As I headed out this morning, I noticed this stuck to the side of my car.
It looks like it could be from a bird hitting the side of my car. I hope not for a couple reasons. First, the poor bird! But also, the car is a lease. I’m praying there’s no dent under those feathers. I don’t want to try and explain to the insurance company.
I’m hoping it was not a bird accident but rather a voodoo curse. Not that I want to be cursed, although after 3 & 1/2 years of the Trump administration, it may not seem so bad. But if someone around town here is laying voodoo curses on people, I may have some business I could swing their way.
Mite Be Funny #175
Flies On Washington Walls #174 – Tulsa Time
Jim Flanigan Looks at the World 