Tag: writing

The Return of Jim’s Poetry Corner

~ Jim Flanigan

I told you about the humorous poetry contest I was entering. I hope you sent in something, anything. Maybe just some random words that you scribbled down on a napkin to avoid talking to your dinner partner while waiting for your order of Tom Yum Goong to be served at that Thai restaurant on the other side of town. Hey, the contest was free. You had nothing to lose.

And now the contest deadline has passed, so I may as well share foist upon you my entry. I didn’t know what to write about or how to write it. My OCD leanings tend to make me want to rhyme. But I know “modern poetry” is a free-for-all. Rhyming is passé. So, I wrote a poem about that, even dragging revered poet E.E. Cummings into my hodgepodge of words meant to pass for a poem.

I reluctantly present to you “The Challenge of Writing Poetry After Parochial School.” You can press the + sign below to make the print larger if you really want to read it.

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Writing for an Oscar

~ Jim Flanigan

Do you ever think about one of the novels you have written coming alive on the silver screen with Hollywood elites like Pauly Shore and Lindsay Lohan as the stars and Roseanne Barr in a cameo role as a dumpster fire? What’s that? You haven’t written your novel yet. Well, why the hell not? Write it now. I can vouch for Chicagoland being covered in a thick blanket of snow that won’t be gone until July. There’s nothing else to do but stay inside and write. If you don’t have a novel, maybe you have a novella, short story, or random shapes and pseudo-gibberish scribbled on a napkin. Hollywood is out of ideas these days. As soon as the shooting stops on a film, a remake begins immediately. Your writing is needed.

Well, here’s a screenwriting challenge you may wish to consider.

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Get Unblocked!

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 4 Comments

Winter should be a great time to write. For me, winter is also a time for me to be seasonally depressed, so my writing does not flow nicely like pus from a lanced boil. That’s more of how I feel in the winter – like a lanced boil. It doesn’t help that we just had our first snowfall of substance this weekend, and there’s more snow forecasted on the way this week. Gross.

So, I thought I’d force my writing hand by looking for writing contests with deadlines coming up soon. There are plenty, but most seemed to require more effort than I am willing to give. That resolution I made to relaunch my writing career may be more difficult than I thought.

Then I found this writing contest …

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You Say You Want a Resolution

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 5 Comments

The Beatles sang something close to that title many years ago. I’m pretty sure that on some New Year’s Day in the past, Ringo resolved to live longer than Keith Richards. So far, so good. Ringo looks great at age 83 (older than Keef!), and I read he credits eating broccoli with every meal as part of his vegan diet. That’s not a bad resolution for me in 2024. I think that will be what I call a soft resolution which means my efforts toward that resolution will be sporadic, random, and uninspired.

But I do have some resolutions that I hope I can stick to throughout 2024 and beyond.

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Rejection is Opportunity for Rejection Elsewhere

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 3 Comments

The one thing I have learned in my short career as a semi-professional writer is that rejection is inevitable. I get a weird feeling before submitting a story anywhere. I know the story will be judged which will make me feel like I am personally being judged, because the story is an extension of me and my alleged mind. It’s a very uncomfortable feeling. I have to force myself to click and submit the story. Then I’m okay, and I wait for the inevitable rejection. Thankfully, I have received an occasional acceptance.

After winning a small award for my first serious crime story in the first half of 2023, I struck out several times in the second half of the year with various short story submittals. Even a local writer’s group was not interested in hearing me recite some of the stories I submitted. I got busy with a new job that I took as a bridge to retirement and my writing has languished, although it has been the right decision financially.

It’s time to relaunch my writing career in 2024. I am ready for more rejection. I came across this humorous poetry contest with a $0 entry fee. That fits my budget perfectly. Now I am certainly not a poet, and I know it. Hmm, on second thought …

Sure, I have written poems in the past. Here’s a link to a winter poem I wrote years ago bemoaning the shortest day of the year on the Winter Solstice through which we just suffered yesterday.

I took advantage of my fear of lack of daylight by staying in yesterday and writing a humorous poem to submit. It is about my OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) keeping me from writing a poem about my OCD keeping me from writing a poem about my OCD, etc. I like it. It was cathartic. It is also one of the weirdest things I have ever written, and I have written some pretty odd stuff in the past. It features nuns. Need I say more? Is it funny enough to be award-winning? Hmm, I guess the decision to reject my poem will be up to the suspected heartless and unbearably cruel judges after I force myself to submit it. And I will submit it. I urge you to write and submit, too. Misery loves company.

Flash Fiction Failure

~ Jim Flanigan

I enjoyed the NYC Midnight 100 word flash fiction challenge last year, so I decided to give it a go again this year. I just didn’t want to be assigned the horror genre like I was last year. Of course, you can be sure I was assigned horror along with using the action of tracing something in the story and the word lite. All in 100 words. My goal this year was to make it past the first round. I did not. Here are some of the reasons the judges did not like my story.

  • If you were to create a creepier tone to start with, I think it would better flow into the reveal.
  • Having so much dialogue in such a short story started to take away from what you were able to do, and meant the narrative and characters felt a little unformed.
  • The dialogue was a liiiittle bit tacky.

Well, it wasn’t all bad news, but there wasn’t enough good news to get past the first round. Here’s all 98 words of “A Drinking Problem” that I wrote in 24 hours for the contest.

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I Couldn’t Write Because I Was Writing

~ Jim Flanigan

Well, after 2+ weeks of not blogging, at least I can report I’m not dead. Not that you care. Not one of you came to my fake funeral service that I staged to see if anyone would come. Of course, it would have helped if I had notified you that I had died and there was a funeral service for me. But that would have been impossible with me being dead. I may have been fake dead, but I demanded authenticity. It turns out nobody at all came to my fake funeral. My wife blabbed to family and friends that I was faking my death. It was just a closed coffin, the funeral director, and me in a fake beard.

Yeah, George Clooney. I wish. So does my wife!

Anyway, after winning second in a short story contest, I got my head out a little bit too far over my skis. I decided to enter a favorite short story of mine in one of the Reedsy Blog weekly contests. However, it exceeded the 3000 word limit, so I did some abridging. I wonder if the story lost something in the process. Perhaps I abridged too far. Get it?

You can read my truncated story here. I wasn’t expecting to win, but I thought I had a chance at an Honorable Mention. Nope. Best I got was one favorable comment that made some sense. But did that stop me and bring me back down to earth? Nah! I decided to write and submit to this horror anthology.

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A Winning & Losing Short Story

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 3 Comments

I find I do some of my best writing to visual prompts. An author friend sent me info on a contest writing to this painting.

Anyone who knows my writing might assume I would pen one of my typical chucklefest stories, chock full of juvenile humor in an effort to elicit guffaws and chortles. But not this time. I wrote a rather lengthy (for me) story I call “Small Town America,” and it is a straight crime story. Upon writing and submitting my first crime story ever, the biggest surprise was this …

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That’s a Short One

~ Jim Flanigan

A year ago, I blogged about a micro-fiction short story contest that I was entering, and I even shared with you the story I wrote and rejected. I reread it and kind of like my story “Sk8tr Boy.” I wish I had submitted that one rather than the story I settled on using that didn’t get me past the first round of judging, which is my goal for this year. I just hoped I would not get a prompt to write a story in the horror genre again this year. It’s not a comfortable writing zone for me. So, this year, I received these prompts.

Ugh, horror again. And a slang word – lite. I immediately reached into my humor bag o’ tricks to see what I could make work. Here are a couple ideas I contemplated.

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Betting on a Longshot

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 1 Comment

Well, I didn’t win the weekly Reedsy short story contest I entered with my story titled “Uncle Ed’s Toupee.” I didn’t even make the shortlist of finalists. That’s okay as I didn’t expect to win. I did it for the experience of writing to a prompt with a one week deadline.

Editor’s Note: Sounds like loser talk to me.

Here’s a link to the winning story. I feel compelled to say that I’m not impressed. Sure, it’s written in a highfalutin style with a lot of cool imagery. But the bottom line is that it’s a story of a mother complaining about her 3 kids who won’t sleep through the night with a husband who can sleep through an earthquake in a house with a faulty air conditioner. Big deal! I’ve raised/am still raising 5 kids, and you don’t hear me bitching about it in my writings. Of course, I was the husband sleeping through the earthquakes/kids crying.

In all seriousness, congrats to the winner and the finalists. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to write like that. I also don’t want to write like that. I want to write stories that make me think “That’s funny” or “That’s entertaining.”

Editor’s Note: Talk about a low bar. He thinks that when looking into his cereal bowl.

I guess my point is that writers should write what’s inside themselves for themselves. I did so with “Uncle Ed’s Toupee.” It was inspired by my Uncle Ed’s toupee, my deceased brother-in-law, and various other personal influences. It felt good writing it, and I am pleased when I read it. That’s how I want my writing to feel, and I wish the same satisfaction for you when you write.

The odds were 1 in 258 against me winning that short story contest, so I was quite the longshot. Better odds faced me yesterday when I read for the lead in a short film.

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Uncle Ed’s Toupee

~ Jim Flanigan

I blogged about writing a short story titled “Uncle Ed’s Toupee” for a contest, but I wasn’t sure I would get it done in time. However, the contest limited the submissions to 3000 words, so I thought short and came up with a nice, neat 1700 word story. As a bonus, the story will fit nicely in my collection of short stories about friendship that I hope to publish next year.

I uploaded it for the contest and was a bit surprised when I received a link to the story published online. I wasn’t expecting that because, as usual, I didn’t read the fine print. And then someone (I’m not sure who they are) reviewed it. And then some other people (I have no idea who) liked it. So, I may as well share it with you since I have anonymous strangers reading it. Maybe you can like it or review it. I have no idea if that’s possible. Anyway, here’s the link to “Uncle Ed’s Toupee.” I hope you enjoy it.

I see some changes I will make when I include it in my short story collection. I don’t expect to win anything in the contest, but it was a good experience writing to a deadline. Here’s a link to a website with a bunch of writing contests. Write on.

At a Crossroads

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 2 Comments

I haven’t blogged for over a week. It would have felt good to take a blogcation except I was sick. Not that you cared. I didn’t receive one Get Well Soon balloon bouquet from any readers. I’m telling myself that maybe you tried but encountered some difficulties getting it to me.

Or, it may be due to what I hear is a helium shortage. Thanks, Biden. It’s hard for me to confirm such a shortage, because helium is an invisible gas.

A huge reason that I couldn’t blog this past week is because of writing.

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Write Right Now

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 1 Comment

I haven’t written much other than this blog recently. Personal and professional issues keep getting in the way. And an election is coming up. I was grateful when a writing buddy emailed me a link to a short story writing contest. No, I don’t think I’ll win.

Editor’s Note: Ugh, he’s feigning modesty again. This egotistical dummy is 100% certain he’ll win. You can be sure when he loses and the contest judges burn his entry in disgust, he’ll feign shock and surprise.

Anyhoo, I do have an idea for a short story. And the contest is 5 bucks to enter. Cheap, like me!

It involves writing to an artistic prompt, specifically this painting.

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A Video-Heavy Edition of … Random Thoughts

~ Jim Flanigan

If you throw a message in a bottle into the ocean, but it is never read, did you really drink the beverage that was in the bottle?

With an unseasonably warm winter that may be threatening to quickly become spring, I’ve been thinking how nice it would be to go on a getaway weekend in the great outdoors with a couple of buddies where we could enjoy nature and guy stuff like this.

If we do go for a weekend in the wilderness, I think I will want to take the role of the bear.

Just wondering, is that a cross tattoo on the punching guys back, or is his back hair shaved into the shape of a cross?

I’ve reached a blogging milestone. I saw this when I logged onto this blog to check on my last pseudo-hilarious Mite Be Funny cartoon.

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The Semi-Professional Writer’s Dilemma

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 1 Comment

I’ve written stuff that people have paid money to purchase and read. Does that make me a professional writer? Hardly. But semi-pro? Perhaps. Would I like to consider myself a professional writer? Yes, but I have a long way to go. Why do I keep asking myself questions to which I already know the answers? Uh, I don’t know the answer to that question, which I think refutes the question.

I wish I could report great sales of my award-winning collection of short stories. Sure, there have been sales of that book and a few other stories. But not enough for me to claim I am a professional writer, and it hasn’t generated enough income to keep a housefly in filth for a year. So, with 3 other books in progress, what do I do? Do I finish them with the hope to become a professional writer, or do I write them to enjoy the process of writing them? And for me, there is joy in writing and creating my weird stories.

After spending my professional career in sales & marketing, that should be the easy part for me once a book is written. But that part takes as much time as writing, and it is a lot less fun and interesting for me. It just seems like more sales & marketing work that I’ve done for decades. So, I’ve come to a crossroads in 2023 regarding my writing. Whither goest I?

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I Get Her Point

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 1 Comment

Do you remember when I wrote 3 short complementary pieces for an art exhibition? There was a free verse poem, a sad mini story, and a funny mini story about peaches. Oh, what’s that you say? You were trying to forget? Well, not so fast as I have another peach story with which to regale you. But don’t worry. It’s not from me but from a sixth grader.

Last night, artists and authors gathered at an area public library to reflect on the art exhibited and read some of the writings. It’s one thing to see a small digital version of the painting on my screen. It’s a completely different experience to see these large oil paintings up close. I should probably visit the Art Institute in Chicago more often.

I am happy to report that my peaches story got some chuckles. However, my sad story did not elicit any tears, and my free verse poem didn’t coax one finger snap from the audience.

Wait, was I supposed to lead the finger snapping while at the mic? Seems presumptuous of me to snap at my own creation.

Anyway, enough about me. You are here to read a sixth grader’s story about peaches that is written better than this blog most days, although admittedly that is a low bar. I should warn you that this youth’s peaches story is a bit disturbing, so exercise caution (and maybe do a few sit-ups while you’re at it) before clicking through.

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Sucking It Up vs. Just Sucking

~ Jim Flanigan

I got sort of comfortable not blogging regularly last week as I dealt with some loss. I’m sure some of you (alright, most of you) got comfortable with not having to read my nonsense multiple times in a week. You may have noticed that for the first week in literally years, I did not publish a Mite Be Funny cartoon.

It was to be Mite Be Funny #300, and although I had an idea for a cartoon, it was not a great one. I guess I could say that about most of my Mite Be Funny cartoons. It has kind of run its course. But as I have explained before, I’m an OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) guy, so there was some comfort in the routine of cranking out a Mite Be Funny cartoon each week with regularity, quality be damned.

But I’ve also really become obsessed with this very zen saying attributed to Confucious.

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A Cramp-proof Writer

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 1 Comment

I have this problem. If I get an idea in my head, I eventually have to write about it. Sure, sometimes it’s as easy as throwing the idea into one of these stupid blog posts. But sometimes an idea as ridiculous as a parasitic twin running in the 2020 Republican Presidential Primary becomes a book available on Amazon for FREE through the 30th of October by clicking here.

I recently submitted a serious free verse poem and a hilarious mini story to support a local art exhibit organized by the publisher who published my first short story. However, another one of the paintings caught my eye and imagination. It was this one.

Nobody had chosen this painting to write about. I had an idea, but it was risky for me. I’ll explain why.

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Jim Continues His Written Assault on Skokie, IL

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 5 Comments

I already blogged about a free verse poem I wrote to support an art exhibit at the Skokie Public Library starting next month. Well, you can slap my ass and call me a patron of the arts, because I contributed another written piece. This time, it is a very silly micro story about this still life painting of peaches.

Much to my surprise, these still life paintings apparently are not just about fruit but about very serious themes in life. Listen to the artist here …

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Jim’s Poetry Corner Visits Skokie, Illinois

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 3 Comments

For any aspiring writers reading this, I can’t emphasize enough that you need to practice writing constantly. Stop reading my nonsense and start writing some of your own. Each one of these blog posts is writing practice for me. But sometimes I get my writing solicited by others rather than just inflicting it upon you readers. One such recent request came from scenic Skokie, Illinois for an exhibit at their public library.

The challenge was to choose a painting which will be displayed in the library and write a short story or poem about it. I chose this picture.

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