Mite Be Funny #304 – Huge, Multi-Panel Chinese Spy Balloon Bad Joke Edition
Tag: fox news
Yesterday Was a Weird Day
I started yesterday with a Wordle that I swore I had solved in 2 … then 3 … then 4 … then 5 … then 6 … then nope.
Was I becoming cognitively impaired, or was it just bad luck guessing? Any regular reader of this blog will choose the former. I even harbored thoughts of it as I got word that yet another of my cousins who is my age now is showing signs of dementia. But I chalked it up to bad luck guessing and got ready to continue my career in the cinema.
No, I wasn’t hired as an usher at the local Megaplex. I had a paying gig as a film extra playing a funeralgoer at Graceland Cemetery. Not Elvis’s final resting place in Graceland in Tennessee as I had originally thought, but Graceland Cemetery in Chicago.
Traffic was light and I made it to the Chicago cemetery faster than Google said I would. I parked and had a distance to walk to the chapel where the filming would take place. That’s when I hitchhiked for the first time in my life.
Continue reading “Yesterday Was a Weird Day”Mite Be Funny #278 – January 6th Hearings
Marshall (sic) Law?
We all know Marjorie Taylor Greene is a dope. It should have come as no surprise to anyone when she tweeted about “marshall” law when she really meant martial law. But now, why is Fox News repeating her mistake in their chyron below without any “(sic)” or quotation marks to identify the faux pas?
Maybe that was a rhetorical question. Fox is a bag of dopes, too.
But it did get me thinking about this marshall/martial thing. What if …
Continue reading “Marshall (sic) Law?”Oh, Baby!
I was cleaning out my personal email, and I literally groaned when I saw this in an email covering some consumer news.
How long do you think it will be before we see this on Faux News?
Continue reading “Oh, Baby!”COVID Comes Home
Unfortunately, it’s MY home. My 13 year old daughter tested positive for Covid yesterday, and has some symptoms, but not severe. We hope and pray she recovers quickly and fully with no side effects. Get vaccinated and boosted.
Our daughter just got her booster shot Friday, so probably not soon enough to fully protect her. I’m not surprised she got sick. Our local school district is being decimated by Covid at the student and educator level. So far, my wife (an educator in the school district) has escaped a Covid infection, but I figured my daughter would eventually get it. All her friends seem to be getting it. Peer pressure, perhaps?
So, now what? I’ll be spending a lot of time away from my family in my home office and basement, so business as usual for me. I will be stocking up on Covid therapeutics, just in case. Ivermectin? Check! But I do have a question. Will the dewormer Ivermectin work on Covid if you don’t have worms? If not, I’ll have to stock up on worms, too.
Twitter has proven to be a treasure trove of information as to how to treat Covid beyond such commonsense cures like livestock dewormers. I had all I needed for this next one in the kitchen.
Continue reading “COVID Comes Home”Mite Be Funny #254 – Christmas Gifts
Ivermectin? No, I Don’t Vermectin. You Shouldn’t Either.
Yesterday, the mites delivered an anti-Ivermectin cartoon on this blog that blew up the internet. No, wait, I may have gotten that slightly wrong. I’ll try that again. Yesterday, the mites delivered an anti-Ivermectin cartoon on this blog that blew. That’s more like it. Anyway, the mites joined a legion of others that are begging people not to take livestock dewormer Ivermectin for Covid. Here’s known cable news smarty-pants Rachel Maddow trying to explain why people are taking a livestock dewormer for Covid.
Oh, right, Fox News. There are potential side effects, like death. And take a look at what has happened to conservative pundit Ann Coulter after taking Ivermectin.
Continue reading “Ivermectin? No, I Don’t Vermectin. You Shouldn’t Either.”Mite Be Funny #237 – Ivermectin Public Service Announcement
Is Chicago Dangerous?
In my real life, I have a customer who is terrified of Chicago. I’m guessing he listened to Trump and Fox News as they have framed Chicago like a war zone. My customer would always warn me about staying away from Chicago. We love to visit the city, and have never felt in danger. Chicago is truly one of the great cities in the world. I finally told my customer in no uncertain terms about what a wonderful city Chicago is, and I haven’t heard anything about Chicago from him since then. Good! If I want to hear lies, I’ll tune in directly to Fox News.
Look, Chicago is a big city, and murders happen, mostly with guns coming from deep red Republican Indiana. Damn Hoosiers! Chicago has almost 2.7 million people within its city limits including my 2 oldest children. They live in a neighborhood that 30 years ago was dangerous. Now, that neighborhood is absolutely delightful … except for the rats. The rats chewed through wiring in my son’s car, and my daughter has seen rats in her apartment’s basement while doing laundry. I noticed this rat-related sign during our last visit to see our kids in Chicago.
Continue reading “Is Chicago Dangerous?”Waging War on Holidays
As DC burns with the fire of a pending Trump impeachment, the Nerotic fools at Fox News once again fiddle around with creating a new battle in the fictional War on Christmas as a shiny distraction from Trump’s crimes.
I have NEVER heard anyone describe a Christmas tree as a Holiday tree. If I ever did, I would tell them that it’s a Christmas tree, but they can call it a Covfefe Hamberder for all I care. As far as Fox News goes, it looks like they are making Trump look foolish once again (shooting fish in a barrel) since Trump said everyone would be saying “Merry Christmas” with him in charge. Mission Accomplished?
I think not. Happy Holidays. I can’t wait to chop down and trim our Covfefe Hamberder this holiday season. The Resistance continues.
Is Trump Right About Fake News?
I’m confused, which everyone who has ever read this blog already knows. I think Donald Trump is correct when he complains about ‘Fake News.’ I am starting to believe it exists.
Take this video from Judge Jeanine Pirro from Fox News on Michael Flynn. You may want to skip to the very end where Pirro suggests that Judge Sullivan could throw out Flynn’s guilty plea.
Did you watch the whole video? Did you throw up in your mouth just a bit in parts like I did? Understandable. This “judge throws out Flynn’s guilty plea due to FBI wrongdoing” narrative had been pushed by Fox News and White House talking heads for a while. Instead, Judge Emmet Sullivan, a Reagan appointee, excoriated Flynn in a blistering diatribe to the point of dropping the treason bomb as a possible additional charge. Oops.
And what about the Clinton Foundation?
Flies On Washington Walls #126
Flies On Washington Walls #113 – Muslim Ban Multi-Panel Edition
Covfefe & Eggs
BREAKING NEWS …
Sarah Sanders declined to comment to a waitress this morning as to what she would like in her coffee and how she would like her eggs cooked. At (redacted) Grill, Sanders was overheard to say, “Those questions were answered yesterday. I will not keep addressing the same questions, especially those that refer to an ongoing breakfast.”
Rudy Giuliani is expected to clear up the Sanders breakfast controvery on Fox News later today.
Flies On Washington Walls #98 – Special Multi-Panel & Multimedia March For Our Lives Edition
What I Hate About Tucker
What do I hate about Tucker Carlson? A LOT! I would exceed my longest post ever if I tried to list my Tucker hate points while also exposing my mental instability charming eccentricity that I have tried so hard to hide from the authorities. I despise him and his smarmy smugness, along with his complete inability to make a rational argument. But what I despise about him most is this …
That look. Arrrgh! It makes me so mad. That cocked-head, slack-jawed look with vertical brow furrows right between his eyes that he uses to convey that he thinks whoever is speaking to him is a complete idiot who makes no sense at all. That look makes me want to peel the skin off his face and make another a lampshade out of it.
Wow, that helps. I feel much better. OK, back to burying the body in the crawlspace work. I’ll just turn on my favorite lamp …
Can I Get a Trump-Free Evening Please?
I wanted an evening without Donald Trump. It looked to be a good night to sit by a fire outside and have an adult beverage. Of course, that’s most nights for me, but tonight it had an extra appeal to me for whatever reason. That was before I knew Trump held a press conference, and not just any press conference, but the Titanic of press conferences. Sigh! And so we have another night of cable news watching and some blogging. Here are my random thoughts after watching the Trump presser.
We Got a Leaker!
This morning, the blithering and blathering idiots hosting Fox & Friends asked UN Ambassador Nikki Haley to comment on their Fox story reporting that spy satellites detected that North Korea is moving more missiles in place for testing. That sounds like pretty sensitive stuff. To her credit, Nikki Haley responded this way …
Fox News Unintentionally Hilarious
Once again, Fox News gets it wrong in a tweet, but in a delightfully hilarious way …
Jim Flanigan Looks at the World 