Where would I have picked-up COVID? Sure, my wife and youngest daughter had been sick, but they tested negative for COVID. I hadn’t been anywhere special to the best of my memory, but I am experiencing the famed COVID fog, so I wasn’t 100% sure. As for other COVID symptoms, they are rough, especially for an older guy like me. I’m grateful for genetics, my general good health, and previous COVID vaccinations. Oh, and I don’t want to forget the wonder drugs available to treat COVID symptoms. Neigh, I’m not horsing around and talking about Ivermectin with bleach chasers. I’m referring to wonderful COVID antiviral treatments like Paxlovid which I am currently taking.
Of course, with Paxlovid, you have to take the good with the bad, like side effects such as loss of taste and smell. My wife asked me today if I’ve lost my smell, but no, I haven’t. I smell as bad as usual. Another side effect is a metallic taste, and that I definitely have. I feel like a James Bond villian.
But the mystery gnawed at me like a diseased rat gnawing at a young waif’s leg.
Where could I have picked-up COVID?
Perhaps it was from the Asian massuese I see for “back pain” at the Dong Fan Massage parlor.
I think she’s Chinese, and we all know COVID came from China, so she must be a carrier, right? Wait, that’s a MAGA Republican trope, isn’t it. The very thought of Republicans triggered something that hit me in the gut, momentarily knocking me out of my COVID-addled brain fog.
Well, something or someone hit me harder than that. It was my wife, but she just hit me figuratively by solving my mystery. Once again, she was right. Doesn’t she ever tire of that? She knew where I had gone to debase myself and expose myself to a potentially deadly disease. What, was she tracking me now? No, wait, I had invited her along. Only she had the good sense to avoid a classic COVID super-spreader event … a Republican political dinner.
Township government in Illinois has been historically controlled by the Republican party. They use it to groom young promising Republican politicians for higher office and to provide a soft landing spot for older Republican politicians on their way out of public office and life itself. I just happened to crash the local Republican-controlled township board 2.5 years ago as an unwelcome Democrat. My time on the board has gone well, and I even attended the Kane County Townships annual dinner for the second year in a row just last week. It was good. It didn’t even think much about being in a room which was 95% Republican, probably a good portion MAGA Republicans COVID-denying anti-vaxxers. I did think about how much I enjoyed the coconut shrimp appetizers. I did not enjoy being infected with COVID there, the most likely spot for me to have caught it. My wife was wise not to attend, but I would have had to pay her big time to attend any sort of political dinner.
And now I can’t pay her. I was about to enter a clinical trial Friday which pays well for a Moderna combo COVID/flu shot. But that can’t happen now. Republicans owe me big money. If recent polls are right, I can probably count on a YUGE tax cut in 2025 once Trumpy MAGA Republicans sweep Sleepy Joe Democrats from office one year from now. But not so fast. I don’t take comfort in polls, although I do in Poles. That Stash Kowalski is a good friend who always dispenses sound advice. There is one man in a dark suit whose advice we can all trust.
For all my fellow hand-wringing Democrats, trust Batman’s advice to ignore the polls, but not the Poles, and Get Out The Vote.
Jim Flanigan Looks at the World 
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