Fruity Thoughts From a Vegetable

The vegetable mentioned in the title would be yours truly. Now that summer fruits are so readily available, and my vegetable garden is harvestable, I have been having some thoughts about fruits and veggies that I feel compelled to share with you.

I love cherries. Two words for you … Ranier cherries. They are heaven. They are in season. Buy them. Enjoy. You’re welcome.

But I have a problem buying cherries. When I purchase cherries by the pound, I get charged for the pits that are discarded. That’s not fair. However, I do have a solution.

The stores can continue to charge me by the pound for cherries, but I get to bring the pits back to the store for credit.

Black raspberries are not as tasty as red raspberries, and I am not being racist. I grow both types. I am an equal-opportunity raspberry grower. And black raspberries are NOT blackberries. I have been up on that soapbox before.

Nobody, NOBODY, can ever convince me that tomatoes and cucumbers are fruits and not vegetables.

I think peaches would be a more popular fruit if they were given a quick shave before being displayed in the stores.

In a similar vein, sometimes I think nectarines are just peaches that have been shaved.

Seeded watermelons should be less expensive than seedless watermelons due to the inedible seeds, and a lot more fun, also due to the inedible seeds that are perfect for spitting great distances. Hmmm, Inedible Seeds. Good band name? Discuss.

Muskmelons are the least firm and least popular melon. Coincidence? I think not.

Strawberries are technically not berries in the botanical sense. They are also not made of straw.

No matter how many YouTube videos I watch to learn how to harvest the edible seeds from inside a pomegranate, it still takes me forever and is definitely worth it.

No actual fruit is in Fruit Loops cereal. Contact me to be part of my class action lawsuit for fraud.

In a similar vein, Fruit of the Loom underwear is actually made from 30% fruit fiber and can be consumed in an emergency, or just for fun.

Grapes are the only fruits that have testicles which are removed before being sold in stores. The removed testicles are used to make Grape Nuts cereal.

If you have found this blog post interesting, just wait until this Fall when I present my 1000 word dissertation on apples.