Fat 1 – Jim 0

Well, that last weight loss plan of mine involving not farting did not work well at all. Chalk one up for the fat cells as I continue to struggle to lose weight. I know, I know … sensible diet and exercise. I do exercise. I walk, bike and swim, sort of a triathlon lite. But I have a plan to rev up my exercise program.

I am thinking of adding weights to my walking to increase the workload. There are ankle weights to strap on and hand weights to hold.

Hey, that could be me … without the muscle definition of course. I figure for the hand weights I’ll just carry a 2 liter bottle of Mountain Dew in each hand as I drain them along the way. Staying hydrated!

But those ankle weights are expensive, and I don’t know if I want to invest in them before I know that they will really work for me. So I have an alternative plan.

Water is heavy, about 9 lbs per gallon. I know that excessive sodium intake will increase water retention, especially in the extremities. Hmmm, I wonder if that will work in ALL my extremities, if you know what I mean. Regardless, the plan is simple and easy:

• I eat more salt. Who doesn’t love salt?
• I retain water in my extremities.
• Ankle weights are rendered unnecessary as my ankles and feet will bloat with water and excess weight.
• I walk, bike and swim with swollen, heavy feet and ankles, thereby increasing my exercise workload.

What could possibly go wrong? I’ll be sure to let you know.