A SAD Forecast

These cold, wet, and grey days are not good for my SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder). I think I may actually be getting a simulated sunburn from all the sunlight-simulating lights I have on in my office. Fortunately, living in the greater Chicagoland area, the weather frequently changes. Let’s take a look at the upcoming weather and see if the cold, wet, grey days will become more palatable.

Hmm, it looks like colder, snowy, and grey days ahead. However, if I substitute gray for grey, gray seems a bit cheerier to me. It’s not much, but I’ll take it! And we are just one week away from the days starting to get longer after the winter solstice!

For those who struggle with depression and can’t do the mental masturbation I do to convince myself that it’ll all eventually be okay, dial 988 nationwide in the USA to speak with a counselor. The holidays are hard. Get help when you need it.

Jim’s Poetry Corner for a Circular Room

It’s oppressively cold here for the next week or so. What genius decided that this planet was habitable? Anyway, here’s a bit of poetry for the bitter cold. Feel free to add your own lines to create an even longer and more painful poem to read.

Winter’s grip of ice and cold is more than I can bear

As I rend my clothes in deep despair.

Now I sit shivering in my underwear,

Glad to not be completely bare,

And wishing I had even more body hair.

So I sally forth completely aware

That frostbite may require medical care.

But fear not for my general welfare,

For I awake and find it was just a nightmare.

Wait, no it’s not. It’s the freakin’ Arctic out there.

Bonus Content Alert

If you’re feeling lucky and want to risk extending this post beyond the poem and delve into the depths of Omaha, Nebraska winter weather and one-hit music wonders, then click to read more …

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Twitter Welcomes a COVID Winter

Gee, that kid in this blog’s feature image is homely. Anyway, I’m trying out new enhanced blog capabilities once again, this time embedding Twitter videos. Winter is finally hitting Chicago this weekend, so now seemed to be a good time to unleash some Twitter winter weather videos with a COVID theme, all from @RexChapman.

For now, my 2 youngest daughters are remote learning and my wife is remote teaching from home. We have “schools” in our dining room, kitchen, and family room. Thankfully, none of them look like this …

It’s just as well that we are all home and not having to battle icy conditions like this lady with a backpack.

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Hot or Not?

Last week we bottomed out at -28F (-33C) and today we topped out at 46F (almost 8C). The heat has been welcomed back by all, except for some snow sculptures that are leaning more toward providing only flaccid support for the return of warmer-than-normal temps.

snow melting

My Phone is Broken

Damn. My phone is not even paid off yet, and it is already broken. Take a look at this.

phone temp

 

There is no possible way that the high temperature for Wednesday can be -17 degrees Fahrenheit with a low of -28F. If that were possible, and it is not, that would easily set a new record. This phone is definitely broken and clearly malfunctioning. I have no choice. My course is clear. I know what must be done.

phone break

Anyone who tells me climate change is not real gets the same treatment.

 

Mite Be Funny #101

No, you are not imagining things. Yes, last week I hinted that the weekly edition of Mite Be Funny may be going on hiatus for a while. Sorry to disappoint you. Let’s just say that I was inspired by nature to deliver this weather-related two panel edition.

mite be funny #101a forecast

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Weather or Not to March

I have been on weather-watch all week. Saturday is the day of the Women’s March, but this year there is not going to be a march in Chicago. Leave it to the local progressive women to organize one in the town next to mine.

women's march

Crowds of 500 to 5,000 are expected. How do you plan for that wide of a range? Will there be enough hot chocolate? I was tagged as being an able-bodied male who could act as a march marshal. They obviously haven’t seen my body. And shouldn’t we call a march marshal a marchal?

I was not thrilled when I saw early in the week a Saturday forecast of temperatures in the low twenties (F) plus a blizzard. Predicted temps are now in the high twenties and the blizzard may be Friday night. We may wake up to this Saturday morning.

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There’s No Business Like Snow Business

We got hit by a blizzard last night. It did not result in a Norman Rockwellesque view like this …

norman rockwell

I mean, we got rid of our oxen in 2017.

It did result in a scene like this …

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Whether I Can Weather The Weather

Can someone please tell me how to plan to dress for the weather forecast for Thursday?

Forecast

Any temperature above 50F is, by law, shorts weather for me, but I don’t think my bare, pale, unprotected (just shaved!) legs will appreciate the 19F temp and snow in the forecast. Maybe a parka with shorts? Help!

i thought my phone was broken this morning

Wow, catchy title to this blog post. It is so lame that I couldn’t bring myself to capitalize any words in the title, not even the personal pronoun. I can see why this blog was recently voted Most Likely to Suck at the 2017 Bloggie Awards. If the title of this blog post captured your imagination and curiosity, then you should get out more. But first, read on if you must.

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Can Trump Weather My Petty Thoughts?

Although I love music, these are not Tom Petty thoughts. I wish. I’m afraid they are more Trump petty thoughts. Am I petty to be thrilled at the forecast today in Bedminster, NJ where Trump is vacationing?

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80 for 60

In exchange for enduring a 60ish degree day in early August yesterday, I demand a compensatory 80 degree day in late October. Works for me if it would fall on Halloween so I could wear an off-the-shoulder or bare midriff costume.

plummer

Bad in Bed(minster)

Is it petty of me to be happy about the weather being slightly crappy this weekend for Trump’s stay in Bedminster, NJ?

Bedminster NJ weather

I hope so.

 

Slip Sliding Away

We got some snow and ice here overnight. It was very icy and slippery this morning as I walked my daughter to school. I’ll bet she can’t wait for her high school graduation this May. Anyway, it was very, very slippery out. I’ll bet you are wondering just how icy and slick out it was. Thanks for asking! It was so slippery out that I not only carried my cell phone in case I fell and broke a hip, but I had 2 cell phones with me in case I broke both hips. Thanks for reading and I hope you appreciate that I thought little enough of this blog post to not include a “Read More” link.

 

My Phone is Messing With Me

I think my phone is trying to make me crazy.

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