My exercise, health, and weight loss posts are generally my most viewed posts, so why would I wait until the middle of November to report on how I did in October? I guess it’s basically because I don’t care that much about what happened. There, I said it, and it feels good. I made my goal weight over the summer. When I sit in those special chairs at the pharmacy that take my pulse, measure my blood pressure, weigh me, and check my Body Mass Index, I no longer get the flashing warning to stand up before I break the chair. I’m now in maintenance mode.
Maintenance mode is not very exciting, and I don’t have much to report. I may have been able to lose more weight in early October as the weather was quite good to start the month. I probably could have left my pool up and swam until mid-October, but I didn’t. I walked and biked as usual, but my steps do show a slight seasonal reduction.
And that is because good mental health is key to good physical health. In the middle of October, the weather took a nasty turn for the worse, as did my mental health. I deal with SAD – Seasonal Affective Disorder, so I had to adjust my supplements and start doing this a lot.
You may remember the title of this blog post as being a regular feature in the old Reader’s Digest magazine. My mother used to buy the magazine when I was a kid, and I recall reading heartwarming and funny stories about living in the USA. There have been some changes to life in the USA over the past few decades. Here’s a story about football, divorce, a pole dancer, the Jerry Springer show, and the pole dancer’s therapy monkey that attacked a child on Halloween. <deep breath> Before I ask you to click to read more, here’s a pic of the therapy monkey sipping juice to entice you to click and read on.
Yes, the dancer’s performing name is Pole Assassin.
As an elected local government official, it irks me that every year around Halloween, unauthorized graveyards spring up in people’s yards like this one close to my church.
Then we have to enforce the local laws to get people to take them down. At least I assume that’s how it works. Because I’m a local government official who has been elected, that means I don’t do any of the actual work.
As a public service, allow me to remind you that if you have any dead bodies piling up, it’s best to dump the cadavers in the woods or in a body of water like the rest of us do. Please don’t bury them in the yard of a private residence. That could prove to be a grave mistake. Underground utility lines can often be encountered and damaged unless the grave is very shallow. Can you dig what I’m saying? Or, as an even better option, turn the bodies in to local law enforcement. I know around here, we have a “no questions asked” policy.
My 12 year old daughter is still casually interested in Halloween. She was thrilled to see we received this invite from a neighbor.
I have so many questions …
If everyone brings a face cover for the piñata, isn’t that going to be too many for the piñata to wear?
Does the piñata really need a face cover?
Can’t the piñata provide its own face cover?
If the face covers are for party attendees to wear, are they because of COVID or is the piñata loaded with shrapnel?
Can we use the water provided to clean our potential shrapnel wounds?
Is a piñata a small piña?
I expect my daughter to attend, stand around, try and look cool, and not attack a defenseless piñata. But she will definitely be wearing a mask, just like all of us should when we are around other non-piñata humans.
It wasn’t too long ago that former Trump adviser Steve Bannon had thoughts of using his lofty position in the Trump Administration as a possible jumping off spot for a future run at the presidency. He did have the ear of the most powerful and moronic man in the world, Donald Trump.
And then, just like that, Bannon was gone from the Trump Administration. And last night, on All Hallows’ Eve Eve, Steve Bannon found himself facing his worst Halloween nightmare here …
Hiding uneaten at the bottom of my daughter’s remaining Halloween candy were some of these M&M pretenders called Sixlets …
I do see they are labeled as Gluten Free and Nut Free. That’s nice, although they neglected to add Flavor Free. But that’s not the biggest problem I have with Sixlets. I’ve eaten much worse. You can clearly see the problem if I rotate the package slightly …
Police and Law Enforcement officials in most parts of the country have received special instructions and training for this Halloween. They have been warned to curtail their instincts to shoot first, especially when it comes to suspicious looking masked people.