Mite Be Funny #172 – I Can’t Breathe
Tag: donald trump
The Three Amigos
There are people everywhere appalled at this pic.
Not me. I see a couple obvious common threads. First one:
- Lincoln freed the slaves.
- Reagan freed the rich from taxation.
- Trump freed Republicans from common sense.
But the one that really jumps out at me is …
- Lincoln was assassinated.
- Reagan survived an attempted assassination.
- Trump is trying to assassinate himself through the use of hydroxychloroquine and refusal to wear a mask.
My only advice is … try harder.
Flies On Washington Walls #171 – Memorial Day Special Multi-Panel Edition
Flies On Washington Walls #170
Flies On Washington Walls #169 – Obamagate Explained in a Special Multi-Panel Edition
Flies On Washington Walls #168
It All Adds Up to the Mark of the Beast
A very learned, scholarly friend sent this to me.
I summarily dismissed it as a clever meme, but utter nonsense. And then I took a closer look at the numbers using ancient secrets of numerology. My eyes were opened.
First, I assigned numbers to M A G A according to their position in the alphabet.
Why Do Republicans Support Trump? Mystery Solved!
Why Republicans support Trump has confounded me over the past 4 years. Seemingly intelligent family and friends blindly follow Trump regardless of what idiocy he spouts or does. It is truly bewildering. But I’ve finally solved the mystery, thanks to Facebook.
I noticed this Facebook challenge that one of my Facebook friends did.
That Facebook friend is a staunch Democrat, hence the blue D. Okay, I’ll admit it. 24 is not the correct answer. There are 18 triangles. How can I be sure? I used to be a math major in college, I’m an annoying smarty-pants, and in my spare time, I enjoy looking at brightly colored geometric shapes for hours on end. 18 is the correct answer.
Now take a look at how a loyal Republican answered.
Continue reading “Why Do Republicans Support Trump? Mystery Solved!”
Trump Fails Another Test
Some people were shocked that Trump rolled out the My Pillow guy, Mike Lindell, during the COVID-19 coronavirus press conference yesterday.
Not me. Let’s see, what is on the My Pillow guy’s resume?
- Admitted ocaine & crack user from late 80s through the 2000s.
- Prior to starting the drugs, he had accumulated several DWIs for alcohol abuse.
- Owed the mafia tens of thousands of dollars due to gambling debts. Paid off his gambling debts by gambling sober for a while and winning.
- Multiple bankruptcies to his name.
- Divorced in 2008.
- First arrest for domestic assault in 2008. Order of protection was given to his alleged victim.
- Second arrest just a couple months later for violating that order of protection. He pleaded guilty to this charge and the assualt charge was dismissed.
- Third arrest in 2008 was for passing bad checks. Charges were dropped when he agreed to pay restitution.
- Late in 2008, his drug dealers staged an intervention on his behalf.
- Second divorce in 2013 after a 1 month marriage.
- He agreed to pay a one million dollar settlement in 2016 for fraudulent health claims related to My Pillow.
- Better Business Bureau lowers its rating for My Pillow to F in 2017.
- He received an honorary doctorate from Jerry Falwell Jr’s Liberty University in 2019. Yes, the same Liberty University that just reopened and is spreading the COVID-19 coronavirus amongst students.
Mike Lindell is perfect to stand with Trump. Both have been drug users, criminals, and continue to be grifters. Do not buy any My Pillow product.
What I was pleasantly surprised at was the unveiling of the new Abbott COVID-19 coronavirus test.
Abbott Labs has passed the test in this time of crisis. Thanks to Abbott for stepping-up. However, when Trump unveiled the new Abbott test, he failed miserably.
DIY Masks
Healthcare workers and hospitals need masks. They are desperate for any masks to protect themselves and patients from the COVID-19 coronavirus. Fo NOT use this one though.
Too scary.
A dear friend sent me instructions on how to make my own masks from old cotton tee shirts. Seemed like too much work for me when my old cotton underwear could work just as well. First, I tried this look with a pair of boxers and a shoelace …
Responsibility is for Suckers
I pushed an old lady out of the way today so I could buy the last package of toilet paper left on the shelf due to the coronavirus panic-buying with the money I took from the Children’s Cancer contribution container on the way in. But it’s all good because as Trump says, “I don’t take responsibility at all.”
Well, this was a lovely, mish-mash of a jumbled post. But you get the picture. Donald Trump will always take full credit for anything good that happens, but never take any blame or responsibility for anything bad. Ever.
Flies On Washington Walls #167 – Social Distancing Multi-Panel Edition
A Decision I Kneeded to Correct
A few posts back, I mentioned that I needed to make a decision between walking with a cane and training for a 5K race. I decided on the 5K race. I soon came to regret that decision this past Saturday.
I injured my right knee while walking the dog on Saturday. Then I further injured it while walking through the store to purchase a knee brace. Why would I need a knee brace? So I could go on a planned run Saturday afternoon which went well with minimal pain. The brace worked! And then my knee inflated like Trump’s ego at one of his rallies.
This is not my knee, but this pic is highly representative of what mine looked like.
The kneecap is under there somewhere. So, I rested and iced and expected it to get better quickly. Nope. There was no way I could exercise and do my deep knee bends.
So I bit the bullet and went to see an orthopedist specializing in sports injuries which is a stretch. That’s like Trump going to see a psychiatrist specializing in geniuses.
We jointly decided on a treatment protocol and this is what she pulled from my knee.
It was nice to see Trump honor International Women’s Day yesterday by hitting from the Ladies tees during his round of golf.
Mite Be Funny #160 – Mite Be Political Special Multi-Panel Edition
Coronavirus Test – Pass or Fail?
The Trump Administration promised 1 million coronavirus test kits by this weekend. I complain a lot about Trump, but this time, I have to give credit where credit is due. They delivered, big time. Coronavirus tests, anyone?
Thanks to @Tarquin_Helmet on Twitter for this brilliant one.
Flies On Washington Walls #165 – A Parasite on Parasite
Mite Be Funny #157 – President’s Day Trump Special
Flies On Washington Walls #163
48 > 50
We have a problem in the USA much bigger than Donald Trump, and that’s an awful big one. We have 2 Senators each coming from states with fewer people than many cities have. I’m talking about you Montana, Wyoming, North & South Dakota. Most of those Senators are Republican. There is absolutely no reason for us to have 4 states that are so lightly populated, and no reason to have so many Republican Senators representing those states. Our map now looks like this …
The solution is simple …
Jim Flanigan Looks at the World 