If the stock market drops much more, my 401K will officially become a 201K.
Author: Jim Flanigan
Flies On Washington Walls #166
You may have heard the news that Earth has picked-up a new mini-moon in its orbit. This new mini-moon is a former asteroid no bigger than a car that is now trapped in Earth’s orbit. For me, this generates 2 important questions:
- How does a new mini-moon affect our werewolf situation?
- Will the mini-moon only affect mini-werewolves?
Oh, sure. You think those questions are dumb, right? They’re not. You can howl in protest all you want, but I don’t think I’m barking up the wrong tree with this potentially hairy situation. Fangs for your understanding.
My Non-Tide Pod Facebook Challenge, Part 2
After yesterday’s Part 1 post, I am sure that most readers would have preferred if I had taken the Tide Pod challenge to eliminate any possibility of a Part 2. Sorry, but here it is. Let’s get right into another 6 albums that shaped my musical landscape.
Before Steely Dan fans stone me, I know this is not their best album. But it was the Dan album that caught my attention with the funk of “Kid Charlemagne” and opened my eyes and ears to their whole catalog. No regrets. Listening to Steely Dan has helped refine my musical sensibilities.
I regret I never saw them in concert. Walter Becker has now passed away, but Donald Fagen is still touring as Steely Dan. I don’t feel good about that. I think he should tour as Donald Fagen or Steely or Dan, but not Steely Dan. RIP Walter.
Now this next guy looks out of place on this album cover …
Continue reading “My Non-Tide Pod Facebook Challenge, Part 2”
My Non-Tide Pod Facebook Challenge, Part 1
Finally, I received a Facebook challenge that didn’t require me to eat a Tide Pod or dump a bucket of ice over my head or eat ice or dump a bucket of Tide Pods over my head. One of my nieces who will remain nameless to protect her anonymity challenged me to name 10 albums that influenced my musical tastes. Thanks a lot, Karen. I am supposed to offer 1 album a day over 10 days, but I fear that between my short attention span and memory loss, I won’t make it past 2 days. So, I am going to offer 6 albums a day for 2 days. I know what you’re thinking. Math? 6 x 2 = 12, not 10. Consider it coloring outside the lines and refusing to make hard decisions. Oh, I am also not supposed to comment on them. Well, that’s not happening. So, here are the first 6 in no particular order with full commentary.
Okay, so I lied. London Calling is the most influential album for me, hands down. The sprawling musical genres and styles contained within this masterful double album greatly expanded my musical horizon. It’s an album that still sounds fresh and timeless to me when I listen to it today. I regret I never saw The Clash in concert, but one of my bosses went to see them (I’m recalling at the Aragon Brawlroom maybe?) and was thrilled when they spat upon him. Good times.
Okay, now the rest will be in totally random order …
Continue reading “My Non-Tide Pod Facebook Challenge, Part 1”
Cane I Make a Decision?
At this point in my life, I feel my next big decision will be to either start using a walking cane or training for a 5K run. I can go either way. I think canes look cool, and can double as weapons. I used a cane many years ago when I vacationed in Ireland with a broken pelvis. I felt good and quite jaunty when using a cane, even with a broken pelvic bone.
Despite my love for canes, I am not able to make the decision so easily. I’m feeling some pressure. This 62 year old Chicago area guy just set the planking record.
Old men should not look like this.
Too muscley and wrinkly at the same time. And at the 1 minute mark in the video, does that show him catheterized? Ew. I would have chosen an adult diaper while performing an inverted plank. Something like this …
I have unofficially gone well past 8 hours numerous times already in the inverted plank position. Maybe I need to get the Guinness people back here to Chicago, and this time they should bring some of their beer. I definitely cane support that.
Mite Be Funny #158
New Music for Old Rockers – Prime Real Estate
My business travel plans were to take me back to St. Louis next in mid-April, where just coincidentally I planned to see Real Estate in concert. If you are not familiar with that band, I was introduced to them through this song a few years back.
That song breaks a major rule of songwriting about introducing lyrics within the first 8 seconds of a song, and the one about not having a horse contribute to your music video. Regardless, I fell in love with their soft, indie, jangly, pop-rock sound. My oldest daughter advised me to stay away from the band because one of the band members was too sexual assaulty. They bounced his abusive ass from the band, replaced him with a new lead guitarist, and have a new album to be released within days called The Main Thing. Here’s a single released from the new album called “Paper Cup” that I highly recommend.
Continue reading “New Music for Old Rockers – Prime Real Estate”
Flies On Washington Walls #165 – A Parasite on Parasite
Flies On Washington Walls #164 – Post Nevada Debate Edition
New Music for Old Rockers – Pearl Jammin’ Edition
I’ve never been much of a Pearl Jam fan. I like some of their music, but it really never moved me much. Pearl Jam is officially 30 years old this year, and their last album was released in 2013 to modest reviews, so I figured they had packed it in as a band. Oops, was I wrong. Welcome, Gigaton, due to be released in March. If the rest of the album is like the first 2 songs made available, then watch out.
“Dance of the Clairvoyants” was the first song released and it definitely cooks with propane. Take a listen.
Love the bass line and drumming that drive this song forward with a vengance. And just when I thought the song was ready to end as a tight 3 minute tune, the song morphs into a dreamy jam for a tasty ending.
WARNING: Dad joke ahead. Proceed at your own risk.
Continue reading “New Music for Old Rockers – Pearl Jammin’ Edition”
Time for a New Phone!
I’m starting to think about getting a new cell phone which means that I should get one within the next 2 to 3 years. I tend to take my time on big decisions like that. The hot new phones on the market are flip phones. Wait, what? Didn’t we do flip phones already? Ah, but these have foldable glass, like the new Samsung Galaxy Z Flip.
I got news for Samsung. Glass doesn’t fold. If it did, I wouldn’t have a nasty scar on the bottom of my foot from when I stepped on a fish bowl. Long story.
And isn’t it going to be hard to touch those icons that are in the fold unless you have tiny fingers?
If we are going back to flip phones, how about we go super-retro back to a rotary cell phone?
Yes, it actually exists, and can be yours.
Mite Be Funny #157 – President’s Day Trump Special
A Disconcerting Effort to Start the Year
2019 was a great concert year for me. I went to 11 concerts, maybe more but my memory fails me on additional ones. Here they are ranked from worst to first.
11) Glenn Hughes of Deep Purple – Imagine playing only Deep Purple songs from the time when you were in the band and the group was no longer making memorable music. I walked out.
10) Black Keys/Modest Mouse – Disappointing.
9) Mt. Joy – Fun.
8) War – Free concert in the park performed with enthusiastic joy.
7) Car Seat Headrest – An pleasant evening with my oldest son listening to music by a band I was unfamiliar with on Chicago’s beautiful lakefront.
6) Smithereens with Marshall Crenshaw on lead vocals – Surprisingly good blending of talents.
5) Beatles White Album Tribute – Todd Rundgren, Mickey Dolenz, Christopher Cross, Joey Molland of Badfinger, and some guy formerly with the group Chicago performing all songs from the Beatles White Album with fun and style.
4) Heart/Sheryl Crow – Crow > Heart.
Another Sign of the Apocalypse
After surviving a coldpocalypse last night (-10F/-23C), I noticed this sign of the coming final apocalypse …
For full article, click HERE.
For a discussion of various explanations as to how a live frog was found inside an intact pepper, click HERE.
You can believe what you want to believe. I know the truth.
Flies On Washington Walls #163
48 > 50
We have a problem in the USA much bigger than Donald Trump, and that’s an awful big one. We have 2 Senators each coming from states with fewer people than many cities have. I’m talking about you Montana, Wyoming, North & South Dakota. Most of those Senators are Republican. There is absolutely no reason for us to have 4 states that are so lightly populated, and no reason to have so many Republican Senators representing those states. Our map now looks like this …
The solution is simple …
Mite Be Funny #156 – Dating Part 2 Multi-Panel Edition
The Single Biggest Threat to Democracy
There are those that think that having a cruel, vindictive, racist, sexual predatory, dementia addled, Adderall snorting, Fox News watching, fast food & Diet Coke guzzling, fake tan and hair wearing, popular vote losing, foreign government conspiring, forever impeached moron in the White House is the single biggest threat to our democracy. Maybe. I think a case could legitimately be made.
However, consider this …
Yes, I am running again for a position nobody wants. The fact that a dope like me can get on a ballot should also get some consideration as a threat to our democracy. I highly suggest some guardrails be added in the future to prevent this abomination from ever happening again.
A Tempting Offer
My small import/export business is always being offered money to pay down debt that we don’t have. These 2 offers just came in.
I’m really tempted to take the combined $1.5 million and run. I could give you a hint that if there is no Mite Be Funny this Sunday, you’ll know what happened, but then you’d be rooting for me to take the money and run.
Jim Flanigan Looks at the World 