Who Ate Chocolate Jesus?

I warned you that if I got busy, I may recycle an old post. This one is a favorite that always seems to get viewing traffic around Christmas whether I repost it or not. Well, it’s been three years since the last time I foisted this upon readers, so it is high time I try it again. I have edited and punched-up the original 2015 post just a bit. Is this truly a beloved Christmas post, or am I just trying to sneak an easy post through on this 8th Day of Blogging? I think we know the answer. Regardless, here it is …

While waiting in line at a local sweet shop, I could not take my eyes off their chocolate nativity for sale while store security did not dare take their eyes off me for obvious reasons.

chocolate nativity 1
Chocolate Nativity for sale

The very first question that sprang to my mind was, “Who gets to eat Baby Jesus?” I’ll address that later, but that was just the tip of the question iceberg for me. My mind was quickly spinning with so many questions as I checked-out that I tried to pay for my purchase with my dry cleaning ticket. Consider these quandaries that dizzied my consciousness …

  • Will Baby Jesus taste better due to his divinity?
  • 3 part question here: 1) Is it sacrilegious to eat Baby Jesus? 2) Should only others in the manger around Baby Jesus be eaten leaving Baby Jesus intact? 3) Will it upset Baby Jesus and incur his divine chocolate wrath if he sees his manger-mates being eaten?
  • Will conservatives be upset because Baby Jesus is brown?
  • Can conservatives get this nativity in white chocolate?
  • Do any of the male figures contain nuts?

Then I was overwhelmed as I began to think of the practicalities of a chocolate candy nativity. When do you put it out? Will it go bad if you put it out too early? How can anyone stop from eating one of the 3 Wise Men if you get hungry before Christmas? I mean, will anyone actually miss Melchior?

I count 11 pieces in the set above. I would suggest 12, and then one piece per day can be placed in the scene during the 12 Days of Christmas with chocolate Baby Jesus arriving in the scene on Christmas Day. Maybe a chocolate Santa that can pass as another shepherd or a 4th Wise Man can be snuck in as the 12th piece. I suggest using a chocolate Santa/Wise Man/Shepherd like this …

Here’s a chocolate Santa that can easily pass for one of the Magi bearing the gift of a sucker.

I would strongly advise against using this chocolate Santa to round out your nativity scene …

ChocolateSanta penis

Ho, ho, ho indeed.

While we tend to celebrate the 12 Days of Christmas before the holiday (that reminds me I have to find a store that sells “lords a-leaping”), what most people may not realize is that the 12 Days of Christmas were traditionally celebrated after the holiday. These days we are too busy wondering how to pay for Christmas to celebrate another 12 days after Christmas. But a tasty way to celebrate the traditional 12 Days of Christmas after the holiday would be to eat 1 of the nativity figures each of the 12 days.

In a family of 7 like I have, the main question will be, “Who gets to eat Baby Jesus?” Not me, for several reasons. First, even if the Pope himself gives 2 thumbs-up to eating a chocolate Baby Jesus, I remain wary of eating divine chocolate figures. But more importantly, just take a look at the nativity scene. Why would I want one of the smallest pieces? I’ll take the angel, thank you very much. That angel contains so much chocolate that I am sure it will taste heavenly.

Merry Christmas.


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