The Doctor Will See Us Now

On the same day that Donald Trump is getting his first official White House physical exam, I was getting my head examined early this morning. Something about that seems a bit backwards. Regardless, I had an MRI brain scan today. I am really hoping they found something up there.

This all came about because of my recent head injury. Five weeks later, I still have remnants of a black eye, a sizable knot on my cheek, and a confused mind, although that confused mind may go back years before my head injury.

So what happened? I fainted. I fell. I face-planted. Why? Well, my blood tests checked out fine. My 24 hour heart monitor test was fine, although I may have cheated a bit when I connected it to a metronome for an hour when I wanted to take a soak in the hot tub. My stress test was fine. So now they wanted to look to see if they could find a reason for my fall hiding in the old attic.

As I lay on the table, I wondered how Donald Trump could ever get an MRI brain scan in a machine like this …

They held my head very securely as they probed my melon. I wondered how they would hold Trump’s head secure when it is so far up his own ass. That YUGE ass of his is just not going to fit into that little cage that is supposed to hold his head in place.

Yep, that big old Kardashianish ass. I can only imagine the hydraulic equipment required when he gets a colonoscopy. And by the way, nice hair there.

I’m looking forward to hear what the White House doctor thinks of Trump’s health. Dr Ronny Jackson will do the exam. He’s a Navy doc and looks very professional.

That’s not to say that Trump’s personal doctor doesn’t look professional.

Oh right, I forgot.

So we’ll see what, if anything, they find in my head. And we should also hear if Trump’s health is failing as badly as his policies. We can only hope.