Elf on the Shelf to Unionize

Jim Flanigan Looks at the World Again. Repost from December 2015.

The popular elves from The Elf on the Shelf fame have had it with working conditions and are organizing a union. Spokeself Holly explained: “People think that since we work just 1 month a year that it is an easy job. They have no idea what we go through for those 30 days. The stunts we are required to pull can be dangerous and quite jarring.”

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“We work 30 days straight with not even weekends off. During the day, we are always on call in case little Joey or Janey wants to drag us to a movie that we don’t want to see or to a friend’s house where the family dog will lick us until our felt is dripping. And then at night, we have to engage in some pretty outrageous stunts that OSHA frowns upon,” Holly explained.

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Holly concluded: “We would just like a night or 2 off so we can relax with some of our friends we see only 1 month a year.”

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A vote to unionize is expected this weekend with a potential walkout following. Santa was unavailable for comment.