10) Get this tunic to the dry cleaners.
9) Stop streaming Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt on Netflix over & over.
8) See women less as objects and more as equals … just kidding!
7) Get these bees cleaned out of my beard.
6) Stay away from the goats.
5) Upgrade my AK-47 to an AK-48.
4) Research that “72 virgins” thing.
3) Forget about finishing the Koran and just go see the movie.
2) Update my profile on terrorfriends.com.
1) Be more jihadi.
Jim Flanigan Looks at the World 