Tag: cancer

Back & Worse Than Ever

~ Jim Flanigan ~ Leave a comment

I took some time away from writing this blog to do some writing (ironic, right?) and get some issues sorted with my life moving forward. One of those issues is a recurrence of cancer. Sure, I know you’re thinking, “It’s probably only skin cancer.” And it is, smarty-pants. In fact, it’s the least dangerous and least respected skin cancer – basal cell carcinoma. However, per cancer.net, about 2000 people in the US annually die from non-melanoma cancers. If left untreated for a really, really long time, basal cell can spread to bones, lymph nodes, etc. and do damage or cause death.

I face two excisions coming up starting with one next week. Both will be on my face, leaving even more scars after my numerous surgeries. I fear I will eventually end up looking like William Dafoe in Poor Things.

At least Emma Stone’s character called Dafoe’s character God in the movie, and he had good hair. I don’t see either of those things happening in my life. But there is some good news.

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Cancer is Killing Me

~ Jim Flanigan

Financially, not literally. Sorry about the clickbait headline, but it’s for a good cause to get your attention to talk about cancer. We just had World Cancer Awareness Day on the 4th of February. I was certainly aware of my cancer when my dermatologist cut out a big chunk of my back fat to keep a melanoma from spreading where it shouldn’t spread. Get checked regularly for cancer.

That’s one reason I reluctantly agreed to finally get a colonoscopy recently. The other reason is that I could make some money in the process. I was accepted into a clinical trial for a blood sample test to replace colonoscopies. My colonoscopy would be free thanks to good insurance, while the clinical trial would line my pockets with a couple hundred bucks. And then I got the bill …

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I survived 2 Mageddons

~ Jim Flanigan

The past week was rough. First, we had Snowmageddon a week ago. I paid the price physically. Those 3 days of heavy snow and subsequent back-breaking snow removal were followed by 3 days of Coldmageddon. I paid the price mentally on those cold days. The 3 days of Coldmageddon were not the coldest Chicagoland has ever seen, but they were brutal, down to -16F/-26.7C overnight. Highs during the day were subzero F and around -18C. Cold enough that the train track fires had to be lit to keep the switches working.

And then we had a bit more snow and a bit more cold to finish out the week. We’re coming out of it now, and I look forward to days above freezing this next week.

I checked on fellow Chicagolanders to see how they were mentally coping with Coldmageddon. Here’s a Chicagoan who hit the beach.

I do love to swim, but that seemed a bit extreme to me. I couldn’t even bring myself to go to the pool. I settled for doing this each day …

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An Ironic Pain in my Butt

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 2 Comments

I am waaaaaay overdue for a colonoscopy. You could say I’m a bit behind.

I even have a dear friend who had colon cancer. You would think that’s enough incentive to get checked. Oh, sure, I pooped in a box and mailed it in. Then I found out that there are places that will actually check it for signs of colon cancer, so I changed where I had been mailing my poop. All clear for cancer. But that was a few years ago, and that test is supposedly not as effective as a colonoscopy.

Researchers have been working on a blood sample test as a replacement for a colonoscopy. I have some good news and bad news to share.

The good news is that I have been accepted into a clinical trial for the colorectal cancer blood sample screening test. Yay! They even will pay me a little cash every time they draw blood. Double yay!

But there is some bad news with an ironic twist. After they take my blood sample, then I have to get a standard colonoscopy that I was hoping to avoid. Irony is going to be a pain in my butt after all.

Another Edition of … Am I a Bad Guy?

~ Jim Flanigan

I have started a new “career” doing market research studies for cash. So far, I have finished a Medicare study that was not only profitable, but provided me useful information. Next week, I am scheduled for some product taste testing. Yum!

As I review and apply for opportunities, I spotted these two.

Now that’s a lot of money. After seeing those, I can’t help but feel jealous of those with lung cancer and hospitalized with COVID. Am I a bad guy?

Working the Bugs Out

~ Jim Flanigan

I was cool with the tracking microchips in the COVID vaccine, just in case I wander off and get lost. But the aluminum aliens in the vaccine reported in a recent blog post proved too much for me. I thought it was maybe a random crazy story, which of course I blogged about as fact, but there’s even more reporting on it here.

In addition to running TruNews, which appears to be banned from most social media for some reason, Rick Wiles is an evangelical pastor! They’re not allowed to lie, right? Sure, he wants $100 million to build an end-times media empire, but who can blame him? I’d build an end-times media empire, too, if someone wanted to give me $100 million.

Anyhoo, something had to go. I know aluminum is non-magnetic, so I thought I’d focus on the microchip rather than the aluminum alien. I had seen videos of people becoming magnetized from the vaccine, so I figured that the microchips were probably the source of the magnetism. In order to find the magnetic microchip, I put spinach on my vaccinated arm. Why spinach? Duh, spinach is high in iron, and iron is magnetic. I shook my arm, and I decided the microchip was probably located in my arm where a leaf stayed (magnetically, I assume) stuck to my arm. All sounds logical, right?

My next step was to find a doctor who was an open thinker like me and willing to remove my microchip.

The operation was a success, and this is what my arm is sporting today.

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Cancer 1 – Jim 1

~ Jim Flanigan

Well, it turns out I do have skin cancer … again. But it’s the least dangerous type, and my dermatologist thinks she scooped most of it out when she took the biopsies. So I get to use this nasty cream for 6 weeks to kill any remaining cancer.

Yes, yes, we all see the reference to genital warts. I can hear your tittering, which has grown louder since I used the word “tittering.” Hey, genital warts are serious or so I’ve heard from “a friend.” If you’ve never seen one, here’s an example of a very dangerous combination cancerous genital wart …
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Help Yourself

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 1 Comment

In the days leading up to the election, I didn’t do much self-care. Throw Halloween in the mix, and I was subsisting on chocolate and anxiety for over a week. I was just a bit on edge. When I lost a 7 team college football parlay because the overwhelmingly prohibitive favorite Penn State that I knew would win actually lost badly, this was the result …

I loved that hot tub, but the heater was shot and we can’t sell our house with a 20 year old hot or cold tub sitting out back. I can’t stay mad too much longer at Penn State, because Pennsylvania actually delivered the election victory to Joe Biden. Anyway, that demolition was a good way to help myself alleviate stress, which I needed since there was even more stress to come.

As the cherry on top, my dear friend and brother from another mother was diagnosed with colon cancer which he WILL easily beat if he knows what’s good for him. Okay, that didn’t make sense, but he’ll know what I mean.

With the election over and democracy having won, a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I can’t make my friend’s cancer disappear, but I can get checked myself. You see, I have also been lax about a colonoscopy. I am way overdue. Fortunately, our healthcare provider just coincidentally emailed me about getting a colon cancer check by mail for FREE. I immediately signed up, and received the stool sample kit this past weekend. However, there was a problem with the collection vial they sent me …

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Warts This?

~ Jim Flanigan

When I got the news that the spot on my leg was cancerous, I was given a choice: more surgery or burning the cancer away with a cream. Since I was familiar with burning parts off my body, I chose the cream. That proved to be an uncomfortable decision.

I went to the pharmacy to get the cream. My cream was ready. I was ready. But the law states that the pharmacist must speak to anyone with a new prescription. The pharmacist wasn’t ready. I could have walked away from the counter and shopped in the store. I’m glad I didn’t. I peeked at the paperwork with the cream. I couldn’t believe when I read this …

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Hat Trick Denied

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 1 Comment

I was hoping for a hat trick. No, I’m not talking about our hometown Chicago Blackhawks and their quest for Lord Stanley’s Cup.

stanley cup.gif

They did not make the playoffs. I am talking about a personal hat trick. I got the phone call from my doctor’s office, and I can’t begin to express my disappointment. Test results were positive. Positive? Positive is always good, right? Nope. I have cancer again, and I am very disappointed in the type.

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Flies On Washington Walls #146 – Special Multi-Panel Trump Oranges Edition

~ Jim Flanigan

FOWW #146a Oranges

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I’m Burning Off My Head & Nobody Cares

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 2 Comments

I’m burning off other parts of my body, too. And again, nobody cares. In fact, I just saw my dermatologist for my six month check-up, and when I told her about burning off my head and body bits, she gave me this …

Not listening.gif

I see her every six months for my cancer screening after she found and removed melanoma (skin cancer) from my back. At this point, I want to make it clear that this cancer survivor heartily welcomes, encourages, and appreciates your pity “Likes.” Go ahead, better click “Like” now before I die.

I have been cancer-free for almost five years now, and I do have a wicked-cool scar on my back. Although my family encourages me to NEVER remove my shirt, I do as often as possible to show-off the scar. My story for strangers sometimes strays from the truth of being a cancer survivor to being a kidney donor. I like to mix it up.

I was anxious to see my dermatologist since I was concerned about a few new spots on my back. I wanted to know if they were cancerous, or just seborrheic keratoses. That’s right, I also suffer from Seborrheic Keratosis. Sigh! Here’s a look …

SK2

That’s not so bad, right? Take a closer look … if you dare.

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