Trump to Ruin Easter

The future King Donald I of America is already hard at work implementing some of his policies even before his pending coronation. Following a tip he received during his monthly visit to the Hare Club for Men, Trump recently dispatched some of his campaign minions to track down a Mr. Peter Rabbit, also known by some of his aliases as Peter Cottontail and The Easter Bunny. Unfortunately for us, they were successful in tracking down Mr. Rabbit, holed-up in a burrow in a borough of NY City. Trump’s goon squad took Peter into custody for interrogation.

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Trump Threatens Cruz’s Wife

It seems completely normal to hear that Republican Presidential candidate Donald Trump is threatening Ted Cruz, but now the wives are involved, the gloves are off and food may be spilled.

After an anti-Trump PAC tweeted out revealing pictures of Melania Trump from a GQ photoshoot, husband Donald came to her aid and threatened via twitter to “spill the beans” on Heidi Cruz. He didn’t provide more details about what dirt he was planning to dish on Heidi. I hope it is not the police report from 11 years ago that indicated she was having some mental health incident. Yawn. I mean, she MARRIED Ted Cruz. I think anyone would have mental health challenges being married to that creepy guy.

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Last Republican Debate Canceled

The final Republican debate has been canceled, but not because Donald Trump and John Kasich have decided not to participate.

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Trump is Bulletproof

Donald Trump had a bit of a scare at a Dayton, Ohio campaign stop as a protester rushed the stage.

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Chicago Proud Today

Let me see if I have this straight. Donald Trump mocked Bernie Sanders when protesters interrupted campaign appearances of Sanders last summer.

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Weapons of Republican Percussion

As I watched the penultimate Republican primary debate last night, I speculated about what orchestral percussion instrument each candidate would play.

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Marco? Rubio! Marco? Rubio!

In honor of Marco Rubio’s crashing and burning presidential campaign, I suggest the kid’s swimming pool game of tag formerly known as Marco Polo now be called Marco Rubio. That’s about the only thing that will ever be named after him as it is becoming clear that there will never be a Marco Rubio Presidential Library. Consider this …

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Me? Out of shape? No, mine’s just a mushy blob-type shape.

Spring has burst upon the scene in Chicago just as my pants are ready to burst at the seams. And those are my stretchy sweats! Here’s how I can tell I’m out of shape …

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Unfair to Donald Trump!

The comparisons of Donald Trump to Adolph Hitler are so unfair to Mr. Trump.

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Happy International Women’s Day 2016!

The 2016 International Women’s Day theme is Pledge For Parity.

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Release the Trump Tape?

Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz sure want Donald Trump to release a supposedly secret tape.

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I’m Excited About Being Wrong

I swear I heard that the previous Republican debate was the final one. Hence, this highly entertaining blog post about the debates ending too early was generated by yours truly too early as it turns out. My mistake, but I’m ready to celebrate.

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Super Tuesday?

Considering that Donald Trump won big on Super Tuesday,

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Facebook Follies

I’m so tired of seeing Facebook posts challenging me to find a person’s first name that begins with O, or to find a city’s name that doesn’t have an O in it, or some other “challenge.”

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And Then There Were 3 … Stooges

Now that Jeb! has exited the Republican Presidential primary race, we are left with 3 legitimate contenders: Donald Trump, Ted Cruz & Marco Rubio, the 3 Stooges of the Republican party.

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Best. Reality. TV. Ever. Except …

Wow, the series of 10 Republican Presidential debates taken together has been the best reality television series ever. Despite the lack of substantive discussions or facts, there was drama, comedy and conflict, exactly what you want from reality TV. Each debate saw candidates get “voted off” the main debate by how they polled with us, the general public. We even saw some “get rescued” from the junior debate and get back to the main stage when their poll numbers rose, again thanks to us. But there is just one problem.

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Jeb! Quits

I had absolutely no interest in having another Bush in the White House after Bush #2 just about ruined this country in his 8 years of dartboard decision-making deserving of a dunce cap.

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President Obama’s Identity Crisis

 

I’m really confused about who President Obama really is.

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Trump Responds to Pope’s Challenge

In his usual diplomatic way, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump has issued an official response to the Pope’s questioning of his Christian faith.

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Republican’s Furious Over Justice Scalia’s Death

Republicans had initially been quite upset in the wake of Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia dying so inconveniently for them early in an election year. But then they discovered what they thought was a golden nugget that Scalia had left them in his passing.

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