Trump Unveils New Plan for Illegal Immigrants to Stay in USA

On the campaign trail today at a Misogynist Club luncheon in Cedar Hills, Iowa, Donald Trump unveiled a radical new plan that will allow illegal immigrants to stay in the USA while also helping keep our border secure.

Continue reading “Trump Unveils New Plan for Illegal Immigrants to Stay in USA”

I Was Duped By a Can of Water

For those that know me, the title of this post will come as no surprise. For those that don’t know me, why don’t you take some time from your “busy” schedule to get to know me. I like movies, going out to eat, mini-golf, and sports. How about you take me out for dinner? Even better, take me and my family out to dinner. On second thought, take my family out for dinner and I’ll stay home and relax. They can tell you all about how wonderful I am. Then again, they’ll do anything for a free meal. Do you think we have money to spend at restaurants with me blogging all the time? Continue reading “I Was Duped By a Can of Water”

Autumn is a “Fall”se Prophet

Sweat shirt & sweater weather! Football & the World Series! Pumpkin pie & apple cider! Halloween & Thanksgiving! Doesn’t autumn sound wonderful?

Autumn
Autumn. Great, huh?

Continue reading “Autumn is a “Fall”se Prophet”

My Bath Towel Can Save California From Drought

There was an episode on the show “New Girl” during which one of the actors joked about never having to wash his bath towel since it is just wiping away water. I do remember thinking that the actor had a point. After a shower, the body should be clean, so the bath towel, in theory, should be wiping away clean water from a clean body. Well, we all know about the funkification process of bath towels. After two or three uses, the funk has begun it’s stunk. OK, stink, but now it doesn’t rhyme. I hope you’re happy. Continue reading “My Bath Towel Can Save California From Drought”

The Perseid Meteor Shower

With a new moon last night, it was prime viewing for the Perseid Meteor Shower, so I tuned in for almost an hour.

  • Q:  Why was the moon embarrassed?
  • A:  It saw the meteor shower.

I have decided not to copyright the above joke, so feel free to use it, especially during Perseid Meteor Shower season.  I can assure you that astronomy-related jokes are a huge hit around the water cooler. Don’t get me started on Uranus jokes. Please understand that this does NOT give you written or implied permission to use any of my other six copyright-protected jokes, although I suspect that US copyright laws are flaunted daily on school playgrounds across this country since three of my so-called “copyright-protected” jokes are booger-related. Presidential candidates … talk to me more about copyright protection than immigration and you will get my vote. Continue reading “The Perseid Meteor Shower”

Venus Trump Trap

I am hearing more and more people theorize that Donald Trump is actually a Democratic plant.  I find that characterization to be very unfair to plants.

Bernie Sanders says “No” to Hillary becoming a Republican

The policies and positions of Democratic candidate Bernie Sanders are the only things pulling Hillary back to a centrist-enough position that she will not be able to become the 18th candidate in the Republican primary.

Republican Primary Frogs

I have frogs in my pond.  I think they are Republican Primary Frogs.

Republican Frogs
Republican Primary Frogs

You can see 2 very visibly in the picture, but there are actually 3 more hiding in the reeds!  I’m not sure how they got into my pond.  I don’t want them in my pond, but they just showed up anyway.  The nearest body of water is about a half mile away.  It took some effort to get to my pond without an invitation.  Yes, they are entertaining at times, but they are also kind of hard to get rid of at the end of the season.  I have to drain the pond and haul them away to a place where they can safely overwinter. Even after doing that, the next spring I still pull a dead one or two from the pond that just couldn’t stay away.

On top of all that, how am I sure that they are Republican Primary Frogs?  Despite their large numbers, only one is black.

Finally, A Candidate With a Plan for US Troops

Mike Huckabee is trying to distance himself from the other Republican candidates with a specific plan for US Armed Forces and maybe even the FBI. Sure, he may go after ISIS and certainly Iran is on his radar.  But there is another enemy …

“We’ll see when I’m president.”

— Matt Taibbi (@mtaibbi) July 30, 2015

Well, finally we will be able to see an excellent use of US Troops …
pitted against licensed medical professionals.