Trump is Making Satire To Difficult

Sure, there is no doubt that I would have taken Trump’s official inauguration poster offered by the Library of Congress for $16.95 and altered it for comic effect. Blacked-out tooth, bald head, Alfred E. Neuman’s face, spelling error, etc. were all viable comical possibilities guaranteed to have my readers rolling on the floor with laughter as they typically do when reading any of my posts. If you are not doing that, please start. You don’t know what you are missing. That helps make my posts seem much funnier than they actually are.

trump-inauguration-poster

Anyway, as you can plainly see, my handiwork was rendered unnecessary as Team Trump took the wheel and steered their inauguration poster directly into a brick wall with a basic spelling error. If you cannot find it, please stop reading this blog and head immediately to the Breitbart site, or better still, turn on Fox News where the ability to read is optional and actually a detriment to the enjoyment of their “news.” You will feel much more comfortable in your new destination.

There is not much I can really do as once again Trump’s reality trumps whatever I had planned in the way of a satirical rendering. I guess I could add some punchlines:

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Ivanka Not Sweating the Boycott

While other stores like Nordstrom are abandoning the Ivanka Trump brand of merchandise either for flagging sales or her political position, Walmart is strengthening the relationship with the Trump brand. Walmart is ready to unveil Ivanka’s line of action (or not) sportswear designed to appeal to their kind of shopper. We were able to get a sneak peek …

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The Maine Trump Event

I hate to admit that I missed this real news story from the Portland (Maine) Press Herald a few days ago …

http://www.pressherald.com/2017/02/06/eight-people-yes-8-attend-pro-trump-rally-in-portland-and-twitter-noticed/portland-maine-trump-rally

Trump Press Secretary Sean Spicer claimed that this was the largest rally of all time.

 

Honest, Abe becomes Hostage Abe

abe

In an unexpected development, Donald Trump is holding Japan’s Prime Minister Shinzō Abe hostage on Air Force One.

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End This Sessions

Democrats think they may have found a way to immediately remove Jeff Sessions from his position as Attorney General.

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Sessions With a Madman

Newly confirmed US Attorney General Jefferson Sessions has promised to uphold all the laws of our land, especially the Jim Crow laws. Oh look, there’s Jeff’s celebratory parade back home in Alabama just starting …

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Betsy DeVos Confused (is that really news?)

Noted imbecile Betsy Devos appeared confused as she was sworn in as a Cabinet member as Secretary of Education, although that is business as usual for her as she expressed confusion all throughout her questioning from the Senate Committee that explored her qualifications, or lack thereof in this case. It turns out that DeVos was shocked to hear that she would actually be in charge of and running the Department of Education. She thought she was interviewing to be a Secretary, yet another position for which she is woefully unqualified to fill.

Pence is #1

By casting the deciding vote to confirm Betsy DeVos as Secretary of Education, the over-sized loaf of flaccid white bread masquerading as VP, Mike Pence, has temporarily taken the mantle of America’s Most Hated Person away from Donald Trump. I am 100% confident that Trump will regain that title shortly, perhaps as I type this post.

I Agree With Trump on Unreported Terror

I don’t often agree with Donald Trump, but he is 100% correct when he said that the press is not reporting terror attacks. I can personally vouch for that.

I have seen for myself so much terror that has gone unreported. And I want to know what Trump is going to do about that. Closing the border will not help. These are inside jobs. You want specifics, you say? I’ll give you specifics.

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Happy to be Bad

trump-tweet-bad-people
“Bad people are very happy,” says a very happy bad person.

 

Never Forget the Bowling Green Massacre

Kellyanne Conway gave us a sad reminder last night on MSNBC to never forget the Bowling Green Massacre that was perpetrated by radicalized Iraqi refugees in 2011. Her words that touched my heart last night … “I bet it’s brand new information to people that President Obama had a six-month ban on the Iraqi refugee program after two Iraqis came here to this country, were radicalized and they were the masterminds behind the Bowling Green massacre.”

It was only six years ago, but I have to admit I do not remember images of mourners laying flowers on the victim’s graves in Bowling Green, Kentucky.

grave
(Not actual Bowling Green Massacre grave. Stock image grave used for comedic purposes.)

Let’s all take a look back at the facts surrounding the Bowling Green Massacre:

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I Hacked Myself

There’s a lot of talk of Russian hacking these days, and not the type that accompanies a bout of pneumonia in Minsk. I’m talking about computer hacking. I know I’ve had my computer hacked previously, but I have no idea why. I have no money. I have such little credit left that when I try and use my credit card, stores make me leave collateral. Go hack someone with actual wealth. Hack my computer and the best you can hope for is to assume some of my debt.

Just recently though, I hacked myself, and in particular, this very blog. Sit back, strap in and get ready for a story that may just change your life, or waste some time. I know it’s one of those two.

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I’m Unfair to Myself?

It looks like anti-Trump activists are trying to schedule a nationwide general strike to protest Trump policies on February 17th. I’m usually up for all Trump protests, but I feel conflicted on this one. The problem is …

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