I Hacked Myself

There’s a lot of talk of Russian hacking these days, and not the type that accompanies a bout of pneumonia in Minsk. I’m talking about computer hacking. I know I’ve had my computer hacked previously, but I have no idea why. I have no money. I have such little credit left that when I try and use my credit card, stores make me leave collateral. Go hack someone with actual wealth. Hack my computer and the best you can hope for is to assume some of my debt.

Just recently though, I hacked myself, and in particular, this very blog. Sit back, strap in and get ready for a story that may just change your life, or waste some time. I know it’s one of those two.

I love animated GIFs. Who doesn’t? I mean, c’mon, you have to love this …

cat-falling-over But why are envelopes flying and knocking over a cat wearing a sweater? Still, funny to watch.

And how about this for cuteness?

dog-eyes Can I get a big “Aw, so cute?”

And then there’s the downright weird …

horse-2-legs

Now if you blog using wordpress, you know that you have to load all images like these animated gifs into your Media Library to be able to use them in your blog posts. Once they are in there, if they are animated, they animate, and you can’t look at the Media Library without seeing all this motion.

I had done a post a while back with a Wayne’s World theme that was loaded with animated gifs. It was most excellent! No way you say? Way! However, I loaded so many animated gifs into my Media Library that I was afraid that looking at the page would cause a seizure. Wayne and Garth were everywhere on the page, being not worthy, schwinging, and waying/not waying. After a while, I couldn’t take it any longer and I decided to eliminate them from my Media Library. Ah, ocular relief. Little did I know that they also were eliminated from any blog post using them. Unbeknownst to me, my Wayne’s World post was decimated, gutted of humorosity.

Wow, this post is really running long. In the spirit of the upcoming Super Bowl, maybe we should take a break for a halftime show. If you have gotten this far, you have earned it!

HALFTIME

In keeping with the title of this post, I am pleased to present The Divinyls performing “I Touched Myself.”

What a great song from the Australian band The Divinyls. While the lead singer and songwriter is singing about you know what, the song has actually become a Public Service Announcement for breast self-examination when you learn that she found her own breast cancer through self-examination after a mammogram and ultrasound failed to detect it.

We hope you enjoyed the halftime show, and we are pleased to bring you the rest of the post.

My wife recently decided to catch-up on the last 6 months of my blog posts and was done in about 20 minutes. What? How was that possible? Well, it turns out that she won’t read any of the Trump-related posts since they make her eyes leak. But, I protested, what about my Wayne’s World post? She skipped that since all the pictures were gone, and she only finds Wayne’s World mildly amusing.

At that point, my head was spinning. Wayne’s World not hilarious? My blog post eviscerated of crazy animated gifs? My whole world had seemingly been turned upside down. What was I to do? Well, it actually was pretty easy. I reloaded those Wayne’s World animated gifs into my Media Library and dropped those images back into the post. Done! I proudly showed my wife my handiwork with the resurrected post and received in return a patronizingly-tainted “clever” from her.

The bottom line is that I hacked myself without even knowing it. The lesson I learned is to stay away from using animated gifs like I just used at the beginning of this post, and oh crap, never mind. I guess some people never learn.

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