I May Have Eaten Garbage … Again

I know I have a history of purposely eating garbage. But recently, it’s been more nuanced with me saying that expiration dates on food mean nothing while the rest of humanity uses good judgement. But this time, eating garbage was an accident. Well, it was an accident the first time, but I meant to do it the second time.

It was Easter Sunday and we were hosting 25 at our house. There was a lot of hustle and bustle as people arrived bringing food and drinks. I noticed a sealed bag of 4 sausages on the counter. I wasn’t grilling that day, so I thought it odd, but I shoved them into the refrigerator.

This past week, I thought I’d cook up a couple for lunch.

They were delicious. I normally don’t eat meat, but I make exceptions so as not to waste food. However, when I told my wife, she advised me that they came into our house with what can only be described as car garbage.

For example, how about enjoying these with your sausage?

No, those are not marble rye rolls. That’s mold. But maybe the rolls and sausages were meant for the party, and the rolls just unexpectedly turned and molded between the car and our house. Unlikely, especially when an opened bag of half-used coffee was also in the bag with the rolls and sausages.

Cup Full O’ Flavor? More like a Cup Full O’ Trash. We don’t even have a coffee maker. The bag was garbage. I ate garbage sausages.

But … I didn’t get sick. For the last 2 sausages, I even added some old onion and strips from a wrinkly pepper to the pan with the sausages. Delicious.

You know how the old saying goes, right? One man’s trash is another man’s lunch.


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