Pitching Religion

August 29, 2022August 29, 2022 ~ Jim Flanigan

My local baseball team, the Chicago White Sox, stink. I could accept that, except they were one of the favorites to win the World Series this season. Maybe as a last resort, the White Sox are hosting a Faith Night this Wednesday. The only thing that can save their season is if Jesus joined the team on Faith Night to lead the White Sox down the stretch to the World Series. And I’m not talking about center fielder Jesus Rodriguez getting promoted from the White Sox’s minor league team. I’m talking about the big JC. Except, there’s a problem.

While Jesus Christ may not make an error while playing the field, he’s a liability as a batter. He always wants to sacrifice himself. And if he does get on base, he’s never a threat to steal a base. I think the White Sox may be wiser to use him as a pitcher. Think of all the perfect games he could pitch.

Cancel Culture Canceled

July 24, 2021 ~ Jim Flanigan

I apologize to Cleveland for satirically picking on them, but I am a Chicago White Sox fan.

In this satirical post, I have decided NOT to promote my book of short stories. I don’t want anyone to be confused and think the info about my book is satirical. It’s not. I really did write a book of humorous and contemplative books about the afterlife.

Seriously, if you don’t believe this is real and not just more satire, click this link to buy the book on Amazon for under a buck.

Go ahead, prove it to yourself. I dare you.

Is Chicago Dangerous?

May 25, 2021May 25, 2021 ~ Jim Flanigan ~ 1 Comment

In my real life, I have a customer who is terrified of Chicago. I’m guessing he listened to Trump and Fox News as they have framed Chicago like a war zone. My customer would always warn me about staying away from Chicago. We love to visit the city, and have never felt in danger. Chicago is truly one of the great cities in the world. I finally told my customer in no uncertain terms about what a wonderful city Chicago is, and I haven’t heard anything about Chicago from him since then. Good! If I want to hear lies, I’ll tune in directly to Fox News.

Look, Chicago is a big city, and murders happen, mostly with guns coming from deep red Republican Indiana. Damn Hoosiers! Chicago has almost 2.7 million people within its city limits including my 2 oldest children. They live in a neighborhood that 30 years ago was dangerous. Now, that neighborhood is absolutely delightful … except for the rats. The rats chewed through wiring in my son’s car, and my daughter has seen rats in her apartment’s basement while doing laundry. I noticed this rat-related sign during our last visit to see our kids in Chicago.

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Are You Ready for Some Football? My Wife is.

June 18, 2020June 18, 2020 ~ Jim Flanigan

My wife likes American football. Her favorite team is our hometown Chicago Bears. Go Bears!

BTW, that’s not her. But she really wants the NFL to hold a season this year. The NBA and NHL have sort of figured out how to finish their truncated 2019-2020 seasons despite the COVID-19 coronavirus. Major League Baseball is still struggling with how to hold a season. My wife doesn’t care about those sports. She just wants the NFL season to go on as scheduled. It’s not that she’s such a football fanatic. It’s because of this beauty …

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My Top 5 Lost & Found Caps

September 8, 2018September 7, 2018 ~ Jim Flanigan

Wow. The title alone should make this post go viral. Here’s some background on what promises to be a scintillating blog post.

We moved to our current home 5+ years ago. I just recently opened a box from the move and found all my “lost” caps. Mental note to self: Edit those last 2 sentences into a short story for Reader’s Digest called “My Crazy Move.”

The bottom line is that I unearthed a lot of caps. Why do I own a lot of caps? Because I also own a lot of hair loss. But I am fond of some for their aesthetics and message more than their functionality. For example, here’s kind of a pretty one …

I think one of the many Little League baseball teams I coached over the course of raising two sons was called the Orioles, hence ownership of a Baltimore Orioles cap.

But I have 5 favorites that I am happy to share with you and perhaps lend to you should you ever need sun blockage or baldness covering, or sun blockage because of baldness.

Cap #5

It’s hard to see the whole message of positivity in just one pic. That’s right, Podiatry Management. You can’t tell me you didn’t like the article from the August edition entitled “The Bunion’s Vendetta Against Your Big Toe.”

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Tebow Time

August 31, 2016August 31, 2016 ~ Jim Flanigan

In an egomaniacal display of narcissism, failed professional football player Tim Tebow staged a workout in front of baseball scouts today.

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Take Me Out To the Blizzard

April 3, 2016April 3, 2016 ~ Jim Flanigan

It was right around freezing today. We had up to 60 mile per hour winds. It was snowing so hard at times that it was whiter outside than a Donald Trump rally.

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