Once Again, I Lost but Still Won

If you recall, I came in 4th in the April elections, but still won a seat on my local township board. Well, here we go again, but this time I did even worse and still won. I entered my book of short stories in a competition, mainly to get a “professional” review. Well, I’m not sure how professional the review is, but I can’t argue with its accuracy. See what you think. Here’s the review.

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2018 Follower of the Year Award

I’m used to seeing the featured image on today’s blog, except normally with one less finger on each hand extended. But it is that time of the year to cross your fingers and hope to be the lucky one to be chosen the 2018 Jim Flanigan Looks at the World Follower of the Year. As I mentioned in a recent blog post, the 2017 winner went on to snare a high paying job in 2018. This could be you in 2019!

crossing guard

No, not a crossing guard, but undercover law enforcement or a drug kingpin in a speeding getaway car. Regardless of whether or not you score a high-paying job, you’ll always be the 2018 Jim Flanigan Looks at the World Follower of the Year. So, without further ado … oh, wait. We need a drumroll befitting this award.

drumroll belly

Perfect. The 2018 Jim Flanigan Looks at the World Follower of the Year is …

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And My Follower of the Year Is …

Thanks to all my followers for wasting another year of their lives by reading my nonsense. You should all be ashamed of yourselves. Despite lackluster writing, Pauly Shore level jokes, and an unhealthy obsession with Donald Trump, I continued to add followers throughout 2016, albeit at a rate slower than a Trump supporter trying to calculate a 15% meal tip without a calculator. I am grateful, yet perplexed. I encourage all followers to seek professional assistance.

In an effort to scare away even more followers, I will once again award a Follower of the Year. This year, the winner will win a lunch with me. The second place finisher will receive 2 lunches, a dinner (appetizers and dessert not included!) and a backrub (no happy ending!). Enough with the fine print; let’s get to the decision.

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