Category: satire

Trump to Ruin Easter

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 4 Comments

The future King Donald I of America is already hard at work implementing some of his policies even before his pending coronation. Following a tip he received during his monthly visit to the Hare Club for Men, Trump recently dispatched some of his campaign minions to track down a Mr. Peter Rabbit, also known by some of his aliases as Peter Cottontail and The Easter Bunny. Unfortunately for us, they were successful in tracking down Mr. Rabbit, holed-up in a burrow in a borough of NY City. Trump’s goon squad took Peter into custody for interrogation.

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Cruz Campaign Takes a Hit

~ Jim Flanigan

Just as the Cruz campaign grabbed a little momentum yesterday when Ted Cruz overwhelming won the Utah Republican caucus, it suffered a momentum-halting, huge setback today.

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Trump Threatens Cruz’s Wife

~ Jim Flanigan

It seems completely normal to hear that Republican Presidential candidate Donald Trump is threatening Ted Cruz, but now the wives are involved, the gloves are off and food may be spilled.

After an anti-Trump PAC tweeted out revealing pictures of Melania Trump from a GQ photoshoot, husband Donald came to her aid and threatened via twitter to “spill the beans” on Heidi Cruz. He didn’t provide more details about what dirt he was planning to dish on Heidi. I hope it is not the police report from 11 years ago that indicated she was having some mental health incident. Yawn. I mean, she MARRIED Ted Cruz. I think anyone would have mental health challenges being married to that creepy guy.

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Last Republican Debate Canceled

~ Jim Flanigan

The final Republican debate has been canceled, but not because Donald Trump and John Kasich have decided not to participate.

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Feeling Very Dirty

~ Jim Flanigan

I’m feeling very dirty today. Hmmm?

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Rubio’s Gambit

~ Jim Flanigan

Marco Rubio is staking his campaign’s survival in winning the Florida Republican primary March 15th.

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Trump is Bulletproof

~ Jim Flanigan

Donald Trump had a bit of a scare at a Dayton, Ohio campaign stop as a protester rushed the stage.

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Weapons of Republican Percussion

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 2 Comments

As I watched the penultimate Republican primary debate last night, I speculated about what orchestral percussion instrument each candidate would play.

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Marco? Rubio! Marco? Rubio!

~ Jim Flanigan

In honor of Marco Rubio’s crashing and burning presidential campaign, I suggest the kid’s swimming pool game of tag formerly known as Marco Polo now be called Marco Rubio. That’s about the only thing that will ever be named after him as it is becoming clear that there will never be a Marco Rubio Presidential Library. Consider this …

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Unfair to Donald Trump!

~ Jim Flanigan

The comparisons of Donald Trump to Adolph Hitler are so unfair to Mr. Trump.

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Apple Eye Patch

~ Jim Flanigan

I understand that there is a breakthrough in technology coming for the vision impaired.

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Happy International Women’s Day 2016!

~ Jim Flanigan

The 2016 International Women’s Day theme is Pledge For Parity.

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Release the Trump Tape?

~ Jim Flanigan

Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz sure want Donald Trump to release a supposedly secret tape.

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I’m Excited About Being Wrong

~ Jim Flanigan

I swear I heard that the previous Republican debate was the final one. Hence, this highly entertaining blog post about the debates ending too early was generated by yours truly too early as it turns out. My mistake, but I’m ready to celebrate.

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Super Tuesday?

~ Jim Flanigan

Considering that Donald Trump won big on Super Tuesday,

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Rules for Leap Day

~ Jim Flanigan

Today is Leap Day.

It is a day that does not really exist.

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And Then There Were 3 … Stooges

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 2 Comments

Now that Jeb! has exited the Republican Presidential primary race, we are left with 3 legitimate contenders: Donald Trump, Ted Cruz & Marco Rubio, the 3 Stooges of the Republican party.

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Best. Reality. TV. Ever. Except …

~ Jim Flanigan

Wow, the series of 10 Republican Presidential debates taken together has been the best reality television series ever. Despite the lack of substantive discussions or facts, there was drama, comedy and conflict, exactly what you want from reality TV. Each debate saw candidates get “voted off” the main debate by how they polled with us, the general public. We even saw some “get rescued” from the junior debate and get back to the main stage when their poll numbers rose, again thanks to us. But there is just one problem.

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Another LaPierre at an NRA

~ Jim Flanigan

Kalamazoo text

Jeb! Quits

~ Jim Flanigan ~ 2 Comments

I had absolutely no interest in having another Bush in the White House after Bush #2 just about ruined this country in his 8 years of dartboard decision-making deserving of a dunce cap.

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