Dead Streaming

Trump actually tweeted this. This is not a fake or altered Trump tweet.

trump-tweet-streams

Since when did signing legislation to aid in polluting streams with coal mining waste become a good thing to promote about yourself?

Pressed for Answers

I was busy with business associates the past couple days, and I was surprised to hear from one colleague that Trump was having another press conference yesterday, the day after he just had a joint press conference with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. I figured that it would be as inconsequential as the Netanyahu presser with a couple softball questions and that would be it. I completely underestimated Trump’s willingness to put his mental illness on full display for the world to see.

I am still reeling from watching the press conference and then reading the transcript of this press conference. I can only imagine the concern mental health professionals would have that did the same. His opening diatribe gradually built through the subsequent questions from the media into full blown nonsensical gibberish. There are so many examples to which I can point, but I thought I would offer ten for your review and consideration that could be easily grabbed from the transcript. My editorial comments follow after his quotes.

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Intelligence Not Required

Someone got their phone back! These are just 2 intelligence-related tweets from a Trump tweet-storm this morning …

 

trump-tweet-intelligence

OK Donnie, you don’t have to repeat it over and over again. We get it. You don’t like intelligence. You don’t have to tweet it. We can tell just by looking at your Cabinet.

Trump Needs a Staff Plumber

Warning: This is not one of my humorous (some would say hilarious) fake Trump tweets. Do not feign laughter so my feelings are not hurt, not that you would since it is obvious that my feelings are not that important to you. So far, no cards, texts or emails on this Valentine’s Day. Sure I’ll be yours, but you have to ask. Hmmm, somehow I got off track. Hurt feelings can really mess with a person’s mental GPS. Anyway, this is a real Trump tweet from today …trump-tweet-leaks

3 words for Trump: ASK.  YOUR.  STAFF.

 

 

 

 

Trump is Making Satire To Difficult

Sure, there is no doubt that I would have taken Trump’s official inauguration poster offered by the Library of Congress for $16.95 and altered it for comic effect. Blacked-out tooth, bald head, Alfred E. Neuman’s face, spelling error, etc. were all viable comical possibilities guaranteed to have my readers rolling on the floor with laughter as they typically do when reading any of my posts. If you are not doing that, please start. You don’t know what you are missing. That helps make my posts seem much funnier than they actually are.

trump-inauguration-poster

Anyway, as you can plainly see, my handiwork was rendered unnecessary as Team Trump took the wheel and steered their inauguration poster directly into a brick wall with a basic spelling error. If you cannot find it, please stop reading this blog and head immediately to the Breitbart site, or better still, turn on Fox News where the ability to read is optional and actually a detriment to the enjoyment of their “news.” You will feel much more comfortable in your new destination.

There is not much I can really do as once again Trump’s reality trumps whatever I had planned in the way of a satirical rendering. I guess I could add some punchlines:

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The Maine Trump Event

I hate to admit that I missed this real news story from the Portland (Maine) Press Herald a few days ago …

http://www.pressherald.com/2017/02/06/eight-people-yes-8-attend-pro-trump-rally-in-portland-and-twitter-noticed/portland-maine-trump-rally

Trump Press Secretary Sean Spicer claimed that this was the largest rally of all time.

 

Honest, Abe becomes Hostage Abe

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In an unexpected development, Donald Trump is holding Japan’s Prime Minister Shinzō Abe hostage on Air Force One.

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Pence is #1

By casting the deciding vote to confirm Betsy DeVos as Secretary of Education, the over-sized loaf of flaccid white bread masquerading as VP, Mike Pence, has temporarily taken the mantle of America’s Most Hated Person away from Donald Trump. I am 100% confident that Trump will regain that title shortly, perhaps as I type this post.

I Agree With Trump on Unreported Terror

I don’t often agree with Donald Trump, but he is 100% correct when he said that the press is not reporting terror attacks. I can personally vouch for that.

I have seen for myself so much terror that has gone unreported. And I want to know what Trump is going to do about that. Closing the border will not help. These are inside jobs. You want specifics, you say? I’ll give you specifics.

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Happy to be Bad

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“Bad people are very happy,” says a very happy bad person.