Donald Trump sure put one over on us today with his April Fool’s Day tweets from this morning …
April Fool
Author: Jim Flanigan
I Survived The Pool of Infectious Diseases
My wife made plans for us and our youngest daughter to enjoy a quick Spring Break getaway at a resort in my hometown. Although being over 50 years old and huge, the resort is still kept in pretty nice condition. I wish I could say the same about myself. There are many attractions the resort offers including a golf course, spa, comedy club, etc. But what the kids love are the 2 pools, especially the huge indoor/outdoor pool that is warm and inviting year round.
Here’s a look inside …
And outside …
This pool draws a lot of kids as they run like maniacs all over the outdoor deck even in sub-zero blizzard conditions and then cannonball into the pool. Save me a spot at the other 100% indoor pool, please. Oh wait, a pipe broke and it is out of service during our visit? Uh-oh. What that means is the indoor/outdoor pool will look something like this …
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Trump Hopes Chinese President Likes Golf
The Flynn Flam Man
“Yeah, so a couple things, the very last thing that John Podesta just said is no individual too big to jail, that should include people like Hillary Clinton. I mean, five people around her have had, have been given immunity, to include her former Chief of Staff. When you are given immunity, that means that you have probably committed a crime.” – General Mike Flynn on Meet The Press, September 25, 2016.
On March 30, 2017, the now disgraced former National Security Adviser Mike Flynn requested immunity from prosecution in exchange for his testimony to the FBI and Congress.
Trump supporters can come to only one conclusion …
Hillary should be in jail for her emails!
Russian Friends?
BREAKING NEWS:
Russian influence in the USA has now been traced all the way back to unsuccessful efforts to get Jennifer Aniston as Rachel removed from the cast of “Friends” back in the early 2000’s. Sources claim that Russia hoped the cast shake-up would make the US appear less friendly.
Trump’s Secret Tweet Message of Truth
Donald Trump is telling the truth. I know that is hard to believe, but I am convinced that he is truthfully speaking to us, the American public, through his tweets. We just have to find the true meaning in his tweeted messages.
Take this one for example …
I see the message. I see the truth. I feel liberated. Oops, that’s just due to a lack of pants as I type this. But I do see the message as I separate the wheat from the chaff. Take a closer look …
I Spent Last Evening With a Kennedy
In my youth, I would have wished to spend a pleasant evening with Caroline Kennedy, daughter of JFK. I grew up with her, albeit at a distance geographically and socially. We were born 4 days apart. I felt bad when she lost her dad at a young age, and then I lost my dad shortly thereafter at a similarly young age. She was a major babe when I was a major dude and I majorly crushed on her for years. Oh, did I forget to mention that she was a wealthy Kennedy? That may have played a small role (or bank roll) in my feelings. But rather than Caroline, the Kennedy I spent last night with was …
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Oily Administration
It was a valiant effort, but all it took was an administration complicit with energy and oil companies for the DAPL to be connected and flowing. According to this Associated Press tweet, the Dakota Access Pipeline is now full of oil under Lake Oahe.
The question is not whether or not the pipeline will leak. The question is where and when. I find the AP tweet sadly quite prophetic when it starts with “BREAKING.”
Sorry, this post is neither funny nor satirical. I wish.
Bannon Usurped as Top Trump Adviser!
Rare Hair Lair
Mite Be Funny #3
Important Number Actually Not Social or Secure
Cash Pipe
Another Trump Bestseller
Business Tripping
I just returned from a very successful business trip. I know, you are asking yourself skeptically, “How successful could this moron possibly be?” Don’t think I can’t hear you. Maybe I just landed the Acme Conglomerated Industries, Inc. account …
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Devin Intervention
Breaking News …
Chairman of the House Intelligence Committee, Devin Nunes, dismissed revelations that he briefed Donald Trump on new intelligence information regarding the Russian surveillance investigation before the information was even provided to his own intelligence committee. When confronted by our crack investigative team, Nunes clarified his position for us. “Look, this is no big deal. I play no favorites. When I get some new intelligence about Trump, I tell Trump. When I get some new intelligence about Putin, I tell Putin.”
Ainsley Outed!
I swear I was NOT watching Fox & Friends this morning purposely. I didn’t even realize it was on one of the televisions in the workout room in the hotel where I was staying. I was already into my treadmill run when I noticed it was on. When I run, I am barely able to continuously put one foot in front of the other. There was absolutely no way that I would be able to pause the treadmill, get off the treadmill, change the channel, get back on the treadmill, start the treadmill, and continue running. That was just not going to happen. Somewhere between pausing the treadmill and getting back on, I would end up sitting on the weight bench eating a candy bar, despite not even having a candy bar in my possession. So I plodded on while the blithering idiots on Fox & Friends blathered on.
They were discussing ancestry and exploring one’s heritage through DNA analysis. When thinking of the Fox & Friends hosts’ ancestry, this image flashed through my mind …
If a Trump tweet has spelling errors, it must be authentic, right?
Prayers Are Answered
Brush-etta Anyone?
I checked the refrigerator to see what leftovers are available for lunch today …
Jim Flanigan Looks at the World 