I had one very interesting day last week. I braved the alleged most dangerous city in the USA per Fox News, Trump, MAGA, and assorted other clowns to attend a trade show in Chicago. Yes, the same Chicago that recently hosted Lollapalooza with 110,000 people per day packed into Grant Park with ZERO casualties over the 4 festival days. No shootings. No overdoses. No heat-related deaths, and it was hot. The crowd for Chappell Roan was massive.
I wouldn’t be caught dead in a crowd like that, but nobody else was either, because Chicago is safe and a great place to visit or live. I felt safe visiting the trade show as well as a store named Woolly Mammoth where I attempted to sell my human skull.
No, not my own personal skull which I’m still using at times, but a skull I inherited from a former boss when he passed away. I liked it for a while, but then it started making me sad thinking about its original owner. The proprietor of Woolly Mammoth and I talked human skulls for a while, but we were unable to agree on a price. He wasn’t the one that lost credibility with me. He was quite credible and obviously knew his skulls. It was the guy who took my blood at the stop I made just before Woolly Mammoth.
While that may make it sound like I was robbed by a vampire, I willingly gave my blood. And I even got paid several hundred bucks for the use of my blood in a clinical trial to test for tau protein indicators of Alzheimer’s. I also had to take a cognitive test which I don’t think I “aced” like Trump claims he did. In fairness to myself, I had to repeat like about 15 words rather than 5. I wasn’t too concerned with how I did. I was in it for the $$$. In fact, if my results pointed to Alzheimer’s, then I would continue with the trial as a potential future Alzheimer’s sufferer for even more cash. Yay?
Anyway, it was the gentleman who checked me in and walked me through the steps of the clinical trial who lost credibility with me. He was mixed-race, good-looking, and fit. I figured him for somewhere in his 30’s with just a touch of grey in his beard. I was making chit-chat about how old people must be terrible to work with for this trial when he announced that he just missed the trial’s minimum age of 55. He’s 54! I told him he looked great for 54. He was appreciative but mentioned he shaves his head because of hair loss. And then he lost all credibility with me. I realized I was not getting any money that day. I couldn’t trust a word he said.
Without any prompting, he noted that I have a “nice head of hair” and that I “wear it well.” I don’t and I don’t. Nothing that man said could be trusted after those comments.
My middle daughter thinks he was hitting on me as an older white “daddy.” I don’t know about that. My gaydar did not go off, but I also haven’t used it for many years. Maybe it needs new batteries. I simply don’t care what you are sexually as long as it doesn’t impact me negatively. Did I mention he was good-looking? Maybe I’ll believe one of my daughter’s crazy theories for once and take it as a compliment. Oh, and I did get paid. Credibility partially restored.
Jim Flanigan Looks at the World 