Here we are, halfway through my Twelve Days of Blogging, which would make it Day, uh … hmm, I wasn’t aware there would be math. Maybe the pic below will help.
Right, Day 6. I knew it all the time. Just testing you. Anyway, we are halfway through this holiday trainwreck, and today I have some poetry for you. I have provided winter poems in the past, but never a winter holiday poem like I have for you today. I do have to warn you before you click through that the poem is rated for more mature audiences as it concerns drug use … sort of.
It’s another free verse poem, which means I was too lazy to rhyme. I call this poem about Christmas cookies “Christmas Cookies,” or “Who Put The Nut in Nutmeg?”
I baked some Christmas cookies
Full of cinnamon goodness.
That wasn’t the original plan.
They were supposed to be seasoned with nutmeg.
But not just a sprinkle of nutmeg.
I’m talking about LOADED with nutmeg,
Enough to get someone high.
That is a thing you know about, right?
Eat lots of nutmeg and you’ll go tripping.
Don’t believe me?
Just click that link above.
I know links don’t belong in a poem,
But I didn’t think you’d take my word
About the hallucinogenic powers of a common baking spice,
So I supplied a non-Wikipedia linked source for proof.
I eventually decided against using nutmeg.
A little bit tastes great in pumpkin pie,
But too much tastes like crap in cookies.
It can also get you violently ill before you get very high,
And I did want to eat and enjoy the cookies.
I don’t like to waste food,
And puking after eating sounds wasteful,
Not to mention gross,
So I opted to use cinnamon instead.
The cookies don’t get anyone high,
But they do taste great.
And I live in Illinois.
Us Illinoians can get buzzed legally
Any time we want.
And it won’t taste as bad
Or make us hurl
Like overly-nutmegged cookies will
That I wanted to make for Christmas
I think we can all agree that’s no Dickinson, Whitman, or Longfellow (which coincidentally was my performing name back in the 70s when I was doing some “acting” in some “art films”), but I sure hope you found it entertaining and informative. And a special shout-out to my 70’s acting mentor, Art Films. He taught me everything I know, which isn’t much.