I have successfully recovered from my bout with cellulitis. Not that any of you care. I can count on one hand the cards, letters, boxes of candy, flowers, cash, gift cards, etc. that I received, and I don’t have to use any fingers or even my hand. Fortunately, as I recovered from the cellulitis, I developed a case of plantar fasciitis so that I can still have something to complain about.

If you are not familiar with plantar fasciitis, it’s quite painful. But sometimes, from pain comes amazing art. However, in this case, I wrote a poem. More accurately, it is free verse, because I was too lazy to rhyme. Before you click to continue reading my new creation, I should warn you that the two people I have read this to have been at a loss for words upon hearing it, and not necessarily in a good way.

I’ve Lost my Superpower

I used to have a superpower

I could go barefoot all summer

Oh, sure, I would wear shoes or flip flops

Whenever decorum dictated

But otherwise, my feet would be unencumbered

Or constrained by any footwear

I used to have a superpower

Until I was diagnosed with a disease

It’s something called plantar fasciitis

Although those two i’s in the middle

Just don’t look right to me

And I’m an award-winning writer, so I should know

I used to have a superpower

But now I have to wear sensible shoes

With solid arch support

Or I experience crippling pain in my heel

Which makes no sense to me

When the arch is the problem

I used to have a superpower

Before I encountered my arch enemy

I call him The Podiatrist

Who has shackled me

In my kryptonite cage

That is a pair of shoes

I no longer feel the grass between my toes

Or the wind whistling through my toe hair

But I also don’t have to cut my toenails

As often as I used to

When I never wore shoes in the summer

Back when I had my superpower

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