I have successfully recovered from my bout with cellulitis. Not that any of you care. I can count on one hand the cards, letters, boxes of candy, flowers, cash, gift cards, etc. that I received, and I don’t have to use any fingers or even my hand. Fortunately, as I recovered from the cellulitis, I developed a case of plantar fasciitis so that I can still have something to complain about.
If you are not familiar with plantar fasciitis, it’s quite painful. But sometimes, from pain comes amazing art. However, in this case, I wrote a poem. More accurately, it is free verse, because I was too lazy to rhyme. Before you click to continue reading my new creation, I should warn you that the two people I have read this to have been at a loss for words upon hearing it, and not necessarily in a good way.
I’ve Lost my Superpower
I used to have a superpower
I could go barefoot all summer
Oh, sure, I would wear shoes or flip flops
Whenever decorum dictated
But otherwise, my feet would be unencumbered
Or constrained by any footwear
I used to have a superpower
Until I was diagnosed with a disease
It’s something called plantar fasciitis
Although those two i’s in the middle
Just don’t look right to me
And I’m an award-winning writer, so I should know
I used to have a superpower
But now I have to wear sensible shoes
With solid arch support
Or I experience crippling pain in my heel
Which makes no sense to me
When the arch is the problem
I used to have a superpower
Before I encountered my arch enemy
I call him The Podiatrist
Who has shackled me
In my kryptonite cage
That is a pair of shoes
I no longer feel the grass between my toes
Or the wind whistling through my toe hair
But I also don’t have to cut my toenails
As often as I used to
When I never wore shoes in the summer
Back when I had my superpower