I Got Vaccinated, or Did I?

I really don’t know for sure. Not for COVID, silly readers. I’m twice vaxxed and boosted against COVID. I just got vaccinated against RSV (click HERE for more info on RSV), which stands for Respiratory SomethingIcannotspell Virus. Or, did I get vaccinated? I really don’t know. I’ll explain.

I am taking part in a Phase 3 double blind clinical trial for FDA approval of an RSV vaccine, so I have a 50/50 chance of getting the RSV vaccine or some other drug the person at the clinic called a placebo. It didn’t seem to matter if I waved 2 or even 3 dollar bills in front of the researcher’s face, but he claimed that he couldn’t tell me if I was getting the real RSV vaccine or placebo.

The clinical trial is funded by Bavarian Nordic, which sounds to me more like a whiteish-grey paint color suitable for an office full of cubicles populated by tired, frustrated telemarketers regretting their career choices rather than a pharmaceutical company in Europe. I can imagine walking into my local hardware store and asking, “Can you mix up a couple gallons of Bavarian Nordic for me? I want to turn my home office into a soul-sucking hellhole.”

I’m not certain about whether I received the vaccine or not, but I can verify that my left shoulder hurts a bit. There is a bit of swelling and induration. Yeah, I’m showing off with that induration word I just learned thanks to this clinical trial. Now you’re smarter, too, unless you all knew what induration meant before reading this post. If you did, you are really reading the wrong blog.

I am a bit concerned about Bavarian Nordic with locations in Denmark, Germany, & Switzerland. It sounds like a company that may be involved in genetic experimentation and eugenics. Although I don’t have many vaccine side effects so far, I have noticed my hair getting blonder and my eyes getting bluer.

So, besides the blond & blue, why am I doing this? First and foremost, I have always wanted to be a lab rat in a big experiment. It should also help people. If you die of RSV, don’t come running to complain to me. I feel like I’m doing my part. Finally, I get lightly compensated on a monthly basis. How lightly? Let’s just say I contemplated undertipping our waitress for lunch service yesterday so I could pay the bill with my June monthly vaccine payment.

There is some extra money in it if I get sick and drag myself back to the Chicago clinic that administered the vaccine, so they can check me out. And that money’s good. My youngest daughter just tested positive for COVID today. Hmm, maybe she needs a hug from Dad. Cha-ching!


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