What’s the Best Thing to Come out of Iowa?

Interstate 80, of course. That’s an old joke. Also known as I-80, this highway crosses the US from east to west and goes right through Iowa.

This past weekend, we drove 432 miles from our home in Illinois to Omaha, Nebaska on Saturday and back on Sunday for a wedding, most of it on I-80. We almost didn’t make it. Where were my dress shoes? Oh, there they were, back in the dark & dusty recesses of my closet.

I first had to evict the dust bunny that had made my right shoe its burrow. Then, I got the powerwasher out and did my best to clean my shoes. I think they turned out okay, although I may have had the powerwasher turned up just a bit too high. Take a look …

Perhaps I may have taken off more than just dust. Anyway, at least they were nice and cool.

Back to I-80, on the trip west to Omaha, I paid special attention to any roadside attractions of interest to see on the return ride home when we had more time. I was hoping for something like this.

I think it would be better if there was a sign or plaque proudly declaring that this is the “World’s Largest Wooden Nickel” so there’s no argument as to what it is. There was also no notice of this historic landmark that I could see as we drove along I-80. The best attraction I could find was this.

There were plenty of signs directing me to this place and no doubt as to what it is. This is Iowa 80, the World’s Largest Truckstop. My brother-in-law had recommended it to me if only for the wall of beef jerky. We stopped as I needed a rest break. My wife grudgingly agreed. She had no idea I planned to stop not only to stretch my legs and take a bathroom break, but also to take a shower, do some laundry, watch a movie, as well as get my spine adjusted, my teeth cleaned, and my hair cut, not necessarily in that order.

I was relieved when I found the dentist was able to clean my teeth without pulling them first. The sign was unclear.

Anyway, 6 hours later and I was ready to hit the road again, but not before doing a bit of souvenir shopping for our loved ones back home. We were in luck. The Turdcules display was fully stocked.

Even after visiting the Turdcules website, I am still not sure if it is an air freshener or air worsener.

As for the whole Iowa 80 experience, I rate it a “must see,” while my wife rates it as a “must avoid.” I think she may just be jealous of my fresh laundry, adjusted spine, clean teeth, and haircut. Oh, and the fact that I neglected to get her a Turdcules souvenir spray. Oops!


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