My Parasitic Twin Wants to be President – Chapter Five – The Challenges & Challengers

Well, we’ve reached the halfway point. I’m halfway finished writing a crappy novella. The good news there is that you’ll be halfway done reading excerpts from a crappy novella once you are done reading this post. Let’s get started, the sooner the better.


After the big announcement of Ray running for President, I was wondering, “Now what?” It seemed like a whole lot of work was ahead of us, and the bursitis in my knee was flaring up something awful with some wet weather we was having. I’m no quitter, but with football back on TV, watching the Iowa Hawkeyes go undefeated in September seemed like a lot more fun than knocking on doors or stuffing envelopes. And how about that 18-17 comeback win over the Iowa State Cyclones? I hate winning the game with a field goal, and they shoulda whipped those Cyclone asses more, but a road win sure as hell beats losing. And it was a honey of a whale of a ding-dong dilly of a game.

I know what you’re thinking — I should be an Iowa State fan since Okawana is closer to Iowa State than U of I. But I’ve always been a Big Ten fan, even though there’s 14 teams now in the conference. Ain’t that crazier than a Trump tariff? And why the hell is Rutgers part of the Big Ten? If you ask me, they should be part of one of them fancy conferences back east. I’d rather have Iowa State in the Big Ten so I can see them Cyclones get their asses whuppped every week by Big Ten teams. But Iowa State is in the Big 12, and they only got 10 teams. They can’t afford to lose any more. I say the Big Ten should give the Big 12 Rutgers and Maryland so the Big 12 can be the Big 12 again. Only having 10 teams in the Big 12 must be downright embarrassing.  Hey, here’s a joke. Why is it called the Big 12 and not the Big Twelve? Because them Big 12 students are so dumb they can’t spell twelve. I made that one up myself.

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Dr. Ben Carson Inks Deal with Comedy Central

Comedy Central can’t wait for Dr. Ben Carson to drop from the Republican primary race. A source inside Comedy Central has revealed that the network has signed Republican presidential candidate Dr. Ben Carson to star in a Comedy Central show that is currently being developed for him. Continue reading