Affection for Rejection

The reviews for my book BEYOND: Tales of the Afterlife are dribbling in like an old man standing at a urinal. Here are some words I pulled from the reviews that have been used to describe the book:

• Irreverent
• Deeply Reverent (???)
• Humorous
• Well-written
• Weird
• Charming
• Disturbing
• Goofy
• Thoughtful
• Thought-provoking
• Thoughtless (just kidding about this one)
• Engaging
• Dizzying Kaleidoscope of Perspectives and Styles

You can read the reviews yourself on Amazon. Because of those overwhelmingly positive reviews, I’ve made a decision …

It’s not like I didn’t get enough rejection with high school dating. It was crazy how all those girls were always washing their hair every weekend night. No, I must have an affection for rejection. (Note to self: Good name for a song)

So, I have decided to start sending my book to actual publishers for even more rejection. My skin is thick, and my determination is steeled, or is it the other way around? Regardless, I’m sending it out starting today.

My point is that now’s your chance to buy and read it for under a buck. I’m pretty sure that soon it’ll be on the New York Times Bestseller List with several stories being made into major motion pictures. And then you’ll have to pay $29.95 for a hardcover version because of my greedy publisher. That bastard! But for now, you can experience a dizzying kaleidoscope of perspectives and styles for under a buck. I don’t need to get any dizzier than I already am, but it does sound like a cheap high if that’s what you’re seeking.

Buy BEYOND: Tales of the Afterlife and then leave a review. You need not be too specific or wordy. Here are some examples:

• I’ve been reading this book for 14 days and already 2 weeks have passed.
• Flanigan makes such exquisite use of the colon that I wonder if he’s a gastroenterologist. (Editor’s Note: He’s not. He’s a dope)
• I like how, the book features, on all the pages, so many, many, commas.

You get the idea. Buy. Read. Enjoy. Review.