Inn & Out

After my first night’s decadent stay on the road, I unfortunately found myself checking out in the morning. When I opened my room’s door in the morning, I found this surprising item on the floor outside my room …

bill on floor

It was certainly not a used condom like I am used to seeing in most of the places I normally stay. What could it possibly be?

My bill? Imagine my shock! The front desk people at my usual hotels/motels/hovels are typically hesitant to provide a bill to me when I try to check out. I can hear them thinking, “Man, you don’t want any tangible proof that your wife could find linking you to staying here.” But this was more than just a bill. Take a closer look …


Oh no, not just a bill, but a Folio, whatever that is. Isn’t there a vaccine for that? And what’s with the Mr. Flanigan? I’m used to hotel staff calling me “Hey Buddy” or Mr. John Smith of Anytown, USA.

There were other reasons that made this stay special.

  • There was actually a fitness center and all 3 pieces of equipment worked, with 2 of the 3 working properly. I was thrilled. No longer would my exercise be restricted to running away from the muggers outside the hotel.
  • The free breakfast included dual egg choices: scrambled and hard-boiled. Eggsellent!
  • The place actually had a laundry where I saw them washing the bed linens. Most of the places I stay have a “fluff & fold” policy as an alternative to laundering.
  • My soap had not been “opened for my convenience” and did not have any stray hairs stuck to it, which I have been told by front desk people adds texture to the soap that helps with exfoliation.

As I departed and handed the front desk clerk my room key, I felt something was missing. What was it? The bulletproof glass! Normally I slide the key through a slot under the bulletproof glass separating me from the front desk clerk. Here I could reach out and actually touch the front desk help, and that made me want to reach out and touch them, which probably is all the more reason for adding bulletproof glass.

As I went out of the Inn, I left thinking that it was certainly a Suite stay.


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