I see that even a local Alabama newspaper like the Times Daily in Florence, Alabama is covering the Roy Moore sex scandal with this headline story that I swear is real …

I don’t know about you, but that headline not only made me want to read the story, but also made me a bit hungry and horny.

And what a great name for a band! Now appearing in the Pisces Lounge, please put your hands together for The Sex Clams. They’ll be playing all their hits like …

• Not Tonight, I Have a Haddock
• Eel Be Missing You
• Our Love is Floundering
• Can’t You Seaweed Be Good Together
• You’re Too Shellfish With Your Love

OK, OK, enough with the bad seafood puns already. When will someone finally see these terrible blog posts for what they really are … a desperate cry for kelp.